Her chest began to tighten as her head spun. She heard Striga’s voice in the distance, as if she were underwater and Striga was trying to tell her to swim up to the surface. Only weeks ago she’d been concerning herself with how to approach her father regarding all the awful suitors, a trivial worry compared to now. Everything had been so confusing lately, but now she understood why Striga was so intent on Adrianastrengthening her light, why Xander would push her again and again. Adriana would either save the world, or she’d doom the living and die along with everyone else.
She swayed on the spot as she continued to panic, the anxiety making her feel nauseous as she gasped at the sensation of not being able to breathe. She tried to focus herself to be in the present, to connect with the air around her and the ground beneath her feet, but she was in too deep as darkness threatened to swallow her mind.
She couldn’t stay in the dark, she wouldn’t survive in it. She’d been in the dark for far too long and she was tired of it, tired of not feeling in control of her life, of her power. She was tired of not feelingenough.
Adriana reached for the light that she knew was within her, tried to summon it to find a way out of the void that grew with every sharp breath, but it was too weak. She needed her courage, she needed her strength, she needed…
Xander.
His name caused the darkness to settle, no longer washing her in waves but letting her float peacefully in it. The thought of his eyes watching her, his arrogant, gorgeous smirk, it gave her the strength to push through. The memory of his hands holding her body, his lips crashing into hers, her heart hammering in time with his—it gave her a new form of balance.
She could feel the scales evening out, her emotions and her power settling, reaching their equilibrium. As she reached inside herself again, searching for the light, it suddenly appeared before her.
There it was. A brilliant, radiant, beautiful energy that shone in the darkness, not dispelling it completely, but making itself known.
It was pure white, and yet contained every colour all at once. She focused on it, brought it towards her, and made it her own.Although it was only for a few seconds, Adriana’s hands had shone brighter than ever with Luciferus light.
Adriana rested her head back against the hay, basking in the dim light of the lanterns of the stable’s barn as Jonathon tied up his breeches. He was a good looking man with greenish-blue eyes and dirty blond hair, his bronze skin tanned from always working outside and his face adorned with light freckles. He was kind, and always gentle with her. She knew he would make someone very happy one day, he’d be a perfectly attentive husband and father, but Adriana felt nothing for him.
Of course, she found him attractive, and she had always enjoyed his friendship as a child and their secret trysts in the barn as an adult. But she knew there would be no future for them, even if their imbalance in status wasn’t an issue. He was her distraction, an escape from reality, merely an experiment in sex, and she was the same to him.
As a boy he’d told her he thought he was in love with her, but even he admitted the only reason he desired her in that way was because of her status and the thrill he felt from sneaking around with her. They knew that one day, she would be betrothed to a man of her class, and he would be able to marry one of the girls from the village. He already had his eye on a few of them anyway, they had even discussed his potential options. But he was supportive of her, and though he knew of her Incantrix power, he never mentioned it. With Jonathon, she could feel separated from that world. She could feel normal.
“Your mind is elsewhere tonight,” he said.
She stood up, brushing her skirts down and pulling stray bits of straw out of her hair. “I’m sorry, I have had a lot going on lately.”
“Aye, the woes of having all the gentlemen falling at your feet?”
She smacked his chest in response. He laughed at her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed the side of her head, walking them out of the barn and into the night.
“Fortunately,” she let out a sigh, “I have not had any visitors for a few weeks now, and I do not suspect I will get any more any time soon. My father tells me I am too intimidating.”
“Well, you are a terrifying woman. They should know by now you’d eat them alive if they tried to make you theirs.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “Perhaps they have just given up altogether. Perhaps they have agreed not to try to tame me any longer.”
“For fear of loss of limb?”
A snort escaped her as she tried to hold back her laugh. She wondered if the gentlemen really did fear her. She hoped so.
They reached the turning in the path where Jonathon would walk back to the village, and she would walk back to her house. He held her face gently between his hands and kissed her softly. It was a nice kiss, a lingering peck, and it rose absolutely nothing within her.
He bid her goodnight and Adriana wandered back home, her head tilted up towards the sky as she watched the stars. She enjoyed walking at night. The stillness of darkness gave her a sense of serenity and gave her time to just be, not to think or worry, but to just be there in that moment.
She could see the lights of her house approaching, and made her way round the back to enter through the kitchens, when she saw Striga talking to a figure draped in black. Adriana hid in the shadows to the side of the house, holding her breath as shelistened intently. She didn’t even need to see his face to know it was him.
“You took your time, boy,” Striga’s stern voice rang out. “The great Lamia leader, driven out of town because of a girl? Now that is a story for the tales.”
“I appreciate your interest in my life, Striga,” Xander said dryly, the sarcasm dripping from his deep voice. “I swore to remain close by and to protect your family, and I have done so in my own way. I am back now, I will not leave again.”
Striga huffed at him, clearly not impressed. “What’s done is done. No matter how I feel about your recent actions, I am glad you have returned. She needs you, Xander. The effect you have on her, the effect she has onyou, do not think it has escaped my attention.”
Adriana waited to see if Xander would deny it, but as she watched him shift on the spot, his discomfort of his situation being discussed blazingly clear, she couldn’t help but smile. He did not admit that he had left because of her, nor did he confirm any feelings he had towards her, but he didn’t contradict Striga’s statements either.
“Her Luciferus abilities have grown stronger,” Striga explained, as she began to walk back inside the house. “We need her. We know what Caligo can do, what could happen to us all. Only she can truly defeat him and his army. She needs your help finding her balance, to find the light within her. You swore to Thomas as he died that you would help our family, so you will help her.”
Striga closed the door and left Xander outside, ending their conversation and not allowing him to even consider backing out of the promise he apparently made to Thomas. Adriana knew Xander had been present during Thomas’ last moments, but she’d had no idea her great-grandfather had made him vow to protect their family. She couldn’t help but wonder if that was theonly reason he had helped her that night at the ball, but it didn’t explain his actions that followed. Nothing could, she wasn’t even sure he could.
