“No.” I would do it alone.
I turned to enter my room, but Nixie stopped me. “Elowyn.” She reached out, taking my hand in hers and squeezing it softly. “Your anger is entirely just.” She looked me over, worry furrowing her pink brow. “And Iwillfind out who did this. I promise.”
“And what if you find out it was on Hylos’s orders? What then, Nixie? What will you do? Blindly follow his whims as you do now? Make excuses? It’s all fine if it leads to saving your people, right?” I let out a bitter laugh. Fire licked my heart. “But my people died today. Do you understand that? Thirty Oakhaven men who swore to see me safely across the sea untilyoutook their ship!” The words shattered down the hall.
I rubbed at my eyes and lowered my voice. “You took them and now they’re all fucking dead. So stop pretending to care about me or them or any human. You have chosen your side. As have I.”
Hurt welled in her sharp, pretty features, at odds with one another, just like her soul. Both warrior and nurturer. Fighter and lover. But shewould have to pick who she would become in this rapidly approaching war.
I turned from her again, not wanting to see the hurt I’d inflicted. Nixie was kind to me, but there was only so much that kindness could excuse.
“Whoever killed those men,” she whispered, “will be punished. I swear it.”
I wanted to believe her, but she had assured me once that the men were safe here. So instead, I slammed the door in her face, unable to hear any more empty promises.
Nixie’s song faded, and with it, so did Arlo’s listless smile. His face flattened and those gold-hazel eyes flickered into focus.
“Elowyn?” He scanned the room. “Where are we?” he asked.
“We’re in my bedchamber.”
“Why?” He hadn’t noticed the pain in my voice, not yet. He was too busy eyeing the room. Gaining his bearings. “This is where you’ve been staying?” He let out a small, breathy laugh that I wanted to cling to. “I don’t know what our prisons look like, but based on the stench that lingers on me when I’m awake, I could only imagi—”
“Arlo.”
His gaze snapped to meet mine.
“What is it?” In two swift steps he was before me, searching my eyes, his hands ready to reach out to me, but hesitating. Guardians, how I wanted them on me.
“Arlo,” I repeated, voice cracking as I tried to gather the courage to tell him. “Your crew … The others …” The words splintered, catching on the jagged edges of the break in my voice. I wasn’t ready for the pain I was about to inflict at the other end of my sentence.
“What about them?”
Brown, dense facial hair crawled across his hard jaw and cheeks, almost a proper beard now. We’d been here for so long. Too long. Because I’d failed him.
“I’m so sorry, Arlo.”
“What do you mean?” His features hardened. “Where are they? What happened?” he demanded, retreating into the comfort of authority to calm his captain’s mind.
I swallowed my sadness. It was cruel to let his mind wander to hopeful answers when only the worst was true.
“They are all dead.”
“They can’t be.” He shook his head. “We were going to get them out of here. You found the portal and … No.No.They can’t all be de—” He stopped himself, then shoved past me and stormed to the door, shaking its handle.
“It’s locked,” I said, trying to hold back the tears that were welling in my eyes.
“Let me out of here!” His fist slammed into the door, the sound jolting me. “Let me the fuck out of here!” he roared.
“Arlo.” I walked across the room to him, reaching for his broad shoulders, his shirt spattered in ruby-red droplets. My stomach churned. He wore the blood of his men.
He whirled on me. “They did this! They fucking did this, those monsters! I’ll kill them all! Every one of them.”
“I’m so sorry you lost your men, Arlo—”
“Those were not just my men!” he spat, tears rapidly filling his eyes, spilling down his cheeks. “Those were my brothers. My family. Just like Catarina and Cate. All under my fucking protection. I failed! They trusted me and I led them to their deaths!” He screamed with everything he had left. Then collapsed to his knees, looking at his palms. “Theydidn’t deserve this,” he said through sobs. It was setting in. Panic coursed through his features as his breath ran ragged. “This is all my fault. I agreed to go to Whiterok. So desperate to repay Ced that I ignored the rumors. I let this happen.” He choked on words and tears.
I wanted to fall into his arms and sob with him. But I kept my emotions at bay. There was only room for one of us to crumble today. Instead, I kneeled to his level and placed a hand on his chest. He flinched at first, ready to fight.
