Prologue
“You are a princess,” Mother said into my shoulder, her words a warm breath against my cheek, “and royals do not cry.”
She pulled away to inspect me, her forced smile failing to reach her eyes, which appeared more blue because of the red that edged them. Clearly, royals cried, just not in front of others.
“Be a good girl for Vega at Granger House.” She narrowed her gaze. “Learn as much as you can. Study hard, read lots of books, become a strong rider. Learn all the things needed to become a proper lady for when you return to court.”
I looked down, knowing it was goodbye.
Mother lifted my chin. “I’ll come and visit you with the new baby. How does that sound, my love? Papa, your little brother, and me.”
I nodded in obedience. Then, horses trotted up, a carriage in tow. Mother noted them and struggled to her feet. Lady’s maids rushed to her side. Papa was not there to help her up.
“I amfine,” she said as she made it to her usual stance, maneuvering her swollen belly under layers of fur and gown. Gingerly, she fixed the crown atop her head, Highthorn Castle a shadow looming behind her.
The frigid wind whipped her hair into a fury as fat snowflakes stuck to her raven locks. This vision of Mother would remain forever frozen in that moment, like the snow-covered ground on that frostbitten day.
“Come now, Princess Elowyn,” said Vega with an outstretched hand. She led me to the waiting carriage.
I was too little to climb up myself. Vega scooped me up with ease and placed me safely inside before returning to Mother.
“Take care of her, Vey.”
“Of course, Your Majesty.” Vega bowed, but Mother pulled her into a long embrace. The pair clung to one another as if the moment they let go, the whole world would shatter.
Then, without another word, Vega turned and walked to the carriage. She held her chin high despite the frown tugging on her lips. She boarded, horses huffed, and we lurched forward.
I jumped to the window for one last look at Mother, hoping a wave goodbye would stop her from forcing a smile or crying in secret. I watched as she grew smaller and smaller and smaller.
No one ever came to visit me at Granger House. No Mother, no Papa, and no baby.
Chapter 1
“We’re late, Elowyn,” Vega said through spent breath, over the clipped sounds of our heels.
“I wouldn’t be late if I didn’t have to dress up in this ridiculous garb,” I muttered, pulling at the maroon brocade bodice that bit into my ribs.
Laughter shrilled down the wide hall. The scent of mulled wine and crackling pork skin followed it.
Twenty years had passed since I’d last walked Highthorn Castle. I hardly remembered it, having been barely a child when I left. Yet its memory haunted me every day I was away. My father’s deafening silence had only deepened that dread.
Until his letter arrived.
Elowyn,
I welcome you to Highthorn Castle for the Yule Day feast. We expect your arrival tomorrow morning.
Great be the Guardians,
King Eadric Blackthorn
It was the first letter he had ever sent me directly, and I wasn’t sure if I should be hopeful or afraid. At least I knew he wouldn’t easily welcome me back into the fold, no matter how hard Vega had tried to convince us both of the contrary. But if I was clever, maybe I could gain a foothold within his court.
At the threshold, the feast roared inside, waiting to swallow me whole. Hundreds of unfamiliar faces reveled in laughter, libations, and dance. Jesters, their bells tinkling, somersaulted to luscious music. The sharp scent of evergreen cut through the air. Garlands wrapped every railing, adorned with red bows as large as my head. They must have cut down a forest to drown this place in Yule. It was sensational.
If only I could have enjoyed it.
Fear slammed into my diaphragm, making each breath a struggle. Or was it the damned dress? I tried to calm my mind. I could do this. Ihadto do this.
