“Text-to-speech software,” Ty said absently, which—oh, right, of course. Despite how he presented sometimes, Ty was far from technologically unprepared. “But I prefer having someone to discuss these things with, who can prevent me from being, hmm, too blunt,” he continued, smiling a little bit when Morgan met his eyes. “It’s a complaint I’ve had several times.”
“It’s better to be too blunt than the reverse. At least that way people know what you want,” Morgan pointed out.
“Mmm, yes,” Ty said, his pupils darkening the way they did when he was thinking about sex. “There’s something I think I want right now, actually.”
“Oh yeah?” Morgan grinned and leaned forward a bit. “And what’s that?”
“You. However I can have you.” They’d touched each other in a lot of different ways so far, but there hadn’t been full-on penetration yet. Ty seemed open to it either way, but Morgan just wasn’t ready. He needed to trust his partner, the way he’d once trusted Bentley, and Ty was amazing but he was still inscrutable in so many ways. Morgan just couldn’t bring himself to quite believe that what they had was real, yet.
It was easier to accept that it might be when Ty laid him out naked in bed, held him down so tight he left marks, and rutted against Morgan until they both came. He felt surrounded when they had sex like this, cherished. Like he was a treasure instead of an obligation.
Morgan was on the verge of drifting off to sleep when he felt Ty brush a kiss to the top of his head. “I love you,” Ty whispered. Morgan almost roused enough to say it back, but … he couldn’t. Not quite, not yet.
Maybe he would be able to soon, though.
***
Living on Parrish Island had stopped feeling strange to Morgan. He had been there for long enough that he’d adapted to life in the lighthouse. He knew the ins and outs of every room, how to make the most of the electricity he got from the generator, and how to bear the cold breeze blowing off the ocean with no break.He knew exactly how many layers of socks he needed to put on before venturing across the stone floor of the kitchen.
Best of all, he had learned what it felt like to live with another person again. The years he’d spent with Bentley, even the best ones, had been times of constant change with no space to rest and breathe. There was always something needing to be modified, taken away, or replaced, which left no room for moments of softness. It was only now, when he was surrounded by the softness that was Ty—the coolness of his hands, the warmth of his kisses, and the strong but steady presence in his life—that Morgan realized just how much he’d been missing out on.
Between his parents’ failed relationship and what he’d lived before now, it was astonishing to discover that you could be with someone andnotfight; that you didn’t have to raise your voice in order to be heard, that you could be kind, gentle, and considerate of your partner and have them be nothing but appreciative instead of trying to take advantage of your lapse of judgment.
All of that combined to make leaving Parrish Island for Christmas back in Minnesota a challenge. It got even worse when Morgan realized that he could read even the blankest of Ty’s expressions now. And the one he wore today as he tied the boat up at the dock where he and Morgan would be parting, was desolate—devastated, even.
Morgan waited until they were both standing on the wooden planks of the town dock before setting his duffel bag down and taking Ty’s face in both of his hands. “I won’t be gone for long,” he assured him, pressing a kiss to his lips.
Ty didn’t say anything. He didn’t even move. He’d been quieter the last few days, and that was saying something; he’d been a bit more clingy than usual as well. Now that he felt free to express his other form at will, that clinginess took on a wholenew dimension too. Their evenings were spent with Morgan reading out loud from his collection of books while Ty wrapped him up in an embrace so tight it would have been uncomfortable from anyone else before they slid into the covers together and, well. Their days might be quiet. Their nights certainly weren’t.
“I promise,” Morgan added, “I’ll be back in less than a week, before the New Year.”
Ty nodded stiffly. “All right.” His voice was still unhappy, though, and Morgan couldn’t bring himself to leave while Ty was so clearly fazed by the thought of him going.
“What’s wrong? You don’t think I’m lying, do you?” He softened the question with a kiss and felt more than saw the minute shake of Ty’s head. “Then tell me, please.”
Ty took a deep breath. “When Phil got sick the last time,” he began, and Morgan’s heart shuddered in his chest. “At first, he didn’t think it was going to be bad, just another episode of arrhythmia in his heart. He had medicine for it, but it had stopped working. He thought it would be a quick trip to the hospital, in and out. I waited all day for him. Right here.” Ty shook his head, his eyes going glassy.
“He never came back. He couldn’t, he was too sick. I wanted to go see him, I know I should have, but I couldn’t.” The word came out in a tone of absolute agony. “I couldn’t go that far. Ican’t. I have to stay close to the water or I start to lose control of my body, no matter how hard I try to maintain my shift.”
Ah.Morgan had been wondering about the reason Ty didn’t like to travel. Losing his capacity to appear human would be a big downside.
“And then Phil died, and I never saw him again, and that was it.” Ty stared at Morgan with big, wet eyes, begging for understanding. “When you leave, I won’t be able to follow you,” he whispered. “I’llneverbe able to follow you. And I hate it.”
Morgan cupped Ty’s face. “I’m going to do my best,” he said softly, “my absolutebestto come back to you. I love my sister. I love my family.” It was mostly true at least. “But I’m not going to leave you alone.”
Ty nodded, but Morgan could still see doubt in his eyes. For the first time, he considered the fact that he wasn’t the only one with hangups about their relationship. Morgan wasn’t sure he could trust that Ty really loved him, but Ty wasn’t sure he could trust that Morgan wouldn’t leave him. He gamely wrapped his arms around Morgan’s waist, though, and pulled him in close so he could kiss his lips, then his cheek, then the side of his neck. “I’ll be waiting,” he whispered as he pressed something into Morgan’s hand, then stepped back.
Morgan immediately felt colder in the wake of losing his lover’s embrace. He looked down at the little cloth bag in his hand that Ty had left there. “You got me a gift?” he said faintly. “I didn’t—shit, I didn’t—"
Ty smiled. “You didn’t need to. I know. Open it later, please. And be safe,” Ty added.
“You too,” Morgan said. He took a deep breath, then reached down and grabbed his duffel bag, turned, and began to walk to the lot where he’d left his car in long-term parking. When he looked back, just before making the final turn off the boardwalk, he saw Ty still there, in one of his familiar cable-knit sweaters, impervious as ever to the cold but not to loss. He raised his hand in a wave. Morgan raised his back, and then … he had to go.
The trip to the airport was painfully dull, and the wait once he got there was surprisingly uncomfortable. Morgan wasn’t used to being around so many people anymore, and alotof people were traveling, given that it was Christmas Eve. He should have left earlier in the week like Katie wanted, but he just hadn’t been able to bring himself to do it. He craved every minute he couldget in Ty’s company before things got distracting, and he knew full well they were about to get very, very distracting.
It wasn’t just the prospect of spending so much time with his family that was leaving Morgan antsy. He already knew what they were going to say, of course. “You’ve been there for almost two months,” he could hear them chattering, complaints verified by the slew of text messages that his phone was picking up now. “It’s time to come back to reality. Don’t you want to be with more people? Don’t you want to travel? Don’t you want to use the money you worked so hard to earn?”
Almost as bad were the flow of emails his lawyer deemed important enough to forward. He was being inundated with business opportunities, investment potential, old friends looking for angel funding, and underneath it all, a continuous stream of communication from Bentley.
