“WES!” I bellow again, scanning the treeline.
Suddenly, my heart stops.
There. Just by that cluster of weird, twisting willows. A figure in a dark t-shirt, leaning against the bark with that signature slouch. The messy hair. The way he crosses his ankles.
It’s him.
“WES!”
I don’t wait for the others. I take off sprinting, my legs pumping hard, tearing up the perfect grass. Relief floods me so hot and fast I almost puke. I’m going to tackle him. I’m going to hug him until his ribs crack.
“Bro! Stay there!”
I skid to a halt at the tree line, breath heaving in my chest.
“Wes?”
But there’s no one there. Just a gnarled branch casting a shadow that looks like a shoulder, and a patch of dark moss that looks like hair.
Nothing. My knees almost give out.
“Fuck!” I slam my fist into the trunk. The bark is hard, and the pain shoots all the way up to my shoulder. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” I think I really did lose my mind in the white sand.
A hand touches my back. Theo. She’s out of breath, her face pale.
“He’s not there?” she whispers.
“I thought I saw him, Tee. I swear to Gods.” I rub my face, trying to scrub away the image. “It’s like my brain is projecting him because I can’t handle him not being here. It’s like missing a limb.”
My brain starts, like, trembling. What if I’m not really here? Am I still in the white sand place? I stroke the blades of grass beneath my hand. They feel genuine, but who even knows.
What if Theo is just one of the rock piles and I’m actually completely mad?
The vibrations in my head are getting out of control, and my breath is coming out in gasps.
Breath. Ha. No air here, you idiot. Remember? You’re alone in the desert.
A hand touches my shoulder, making me recoil. “Not real, not real. Go away,” I chant out loud, trying to get rid of the illusions.
“Donovan, my love, I'm real.” The phantom grabs my face, forcing my chin up. “Feel this? I'm solid.” Warm lips press against mine. “Feel this? I'm here.”
Oh my Gods. That’s right. She is here.
I collapse into Theo, burying my head into her neck. “Don't let me go. If you let go, I'll wake up back in the sand.”
“I’m never letting you go.” Theo keeps me pressed up tight to her body. Now I feel like an idiot again. Get it together, Hart.
“Sorry for losing it, baby,” I croak, my voice still rough.
“I can’t even imagine what you’re going through,” she whispers, peppering kisses into my hair. “But everything will be better when we find Wes. And we will find him.” She leans her head against my arm. “He’s close. I can feel it.”
“Yeah, baby,” I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. The hollow feeling in my chest doesn’t go away, but her warmth keeps the fear of cold, white sand at bay.
Scrubbing a hand over my face, I realize I’m trying to wipe away imaginary dust. “OK. I’m good. Let’s keep going.”
Most of the pleasure of walking through the Shire has disappeared. And Merry and Pippin still don’t show.
Theo keeps a firm hold of my hand, which keeps me from feeling totally bereft. I realize that everyone has gone pretty silent, especially Cos. I reach out and tap him on the shoulder.
