Wes has shotgun, and doesn’t seem motivated to give up his seat, so after kissing Theo thoroughly, I help her and then Willow into the back.
Theo squashes up against Max, which he obviously enjoys.
“Dude, even I know what you’re doing is manspreading,” I growl. “Your cock isn’t that big.”
“How do you know? I’ve a fully hellhounded penis now,” he grins back. “Anyway, Princess Sparkles doesn’t mind if I get all up in her space, do you, Sparkles?”
Theo rolls her eyes enough times to sprain her eyeballs as I hop in and gun the engine. “OK, first stop?”
“Coffee?” Old Wills asks.
I meet her eyes in the rear-view mirror, and she gives me a pleading look.
“Coming right up.”
Yeah, she’s probably getting withdrawals from her pumpkin spice latte.
We hit up the nearest drive-thru, and I order Americanos with cream for me and Wes; Tee-Tee asks for an English Breakfast tea, which is cute; Maximus does his regular tooth-rot caramel, mocha ridiculousness; and knock me down with a feather, Willow asks for a quad espresso.
Should never judge a book by its cozy casuals.
On with the show. I make an executive decision to stop for a tuxedo first. “Are you sure you don’t wanna party tonight, Wes?” I ask as we all bundle out of the car.
“Nah, I’m good, but if I change my mind, my old dinner suit is fine. And actually, I’m going to take off for a while. I’m going to the camera store.”
“We can come with you,” Theo says, hope in her eyes.
Wes shakes his head and strides determinedly down the street and away from the rest of us. Trying to ward off Theo’s sadness, I tuck her into my side. “Come on, baby. Let him be. He’ll be safe pawing through telephoto lenses or whatever it is that gets him going. And I need your help in here.”
That’s not really true. I know exactly what I like, so pick out the suit within ten minutes. Obviously, I leave it with a staff seamstress to have it perfected to my size in the next couple of hours. My next job is going to take a little more finesse.
I drive in the direction of Belénus Hills. “This do for you, Willow?” I ask.
“Yeah, perfect, thanks.”
“Cool, and I’ve made a list of consignment and thrift stores we can go to after this,” Theo adds. “If that’s alright.”
“Sure, Tee, whatever you say.”
Ha! I don’t think so. I’m going to Pretty Women the fuck out of my little witch.
Willow chooses the first destination. The store assistant is all smiles when I hold the door for Willow and she enters, but her face drops into a sneer as Max and Theo follow in.
As the movie says, mistake big mistake.
“Turn around, gang. No one is dropping money here if my girl gets looked at like that.” I point a finger at the offending woman.
She blanches. “I’m sorry, I didn’t, I don’t…”
Nope. I make zip-it motions, and Max gives her the finger. Next, we head next door to Balenci-Aura. Luckily, the sweet little manager instantly compliments Theo on her shorts so my shoulders relax.
“OK, ladies, have at it. Me and Max will give you ratings out of ten.”
“I’m not trying on clothes from here!” Theo immediately gasps.
“Sorry, Oliver Twist, you totally are. I’m buying your dress, shoes and whatever the fuck you like. If it makes you feel any better, I haven’t spent any money in a year and my bank balance is ridic.”
“I’m happy for you,” she says, hands on her hips and all pouty. “But that isyourmoney.”
