Davina nodded. “Aye. Just daenae take so long that ye waste all of it.”
The warning in her eyes startled him more than any raised voice could have.
“Lachlan nearly lost me once by thinking we had all the time in the world,” she continued. “Ye daenae want to learn that same lesson the hard way.”
Silence settled. Only the faint hiss of a candle filled the space between them.
She squeezed his shoulder, then let go. “I will look for him in the training grounds.” She turned toward the door.
At the threshold, she paused.
“Whatever knot ye are trying to cut, it willnae loosen if ye stand and glare at it.” Her mouth twitched. “Eat something, by the way. I ken ye werenae at breakfast.”
When the door closed, the study grew larger and emptier.
Neil stared at the black thread of a route he had traced through the hills on the big map. Davina’s words echoed in his mind.
“Give yerself time… Just daenae take so long that ye waste all of it.”
He stood up, the chair legs scraping softly. He rolled the maps, then left them in a careless stack. He snatched his cloak from the back of a second chair, pulled it on, and crossed the room. The lock settled under his hand with a small groan.
The corridor carried him toward the open air, and he took the steps two at a time.
The courtyard lay ahead in a wash of pale light, and the stable boys moved like ants. A guard argued quietly with a cooper over a broken hoop.
The castle breathed around him, ordinary and alive.
It did not ease his tension. It never did.
Distance, that was it. He needed distance.
There were still trails to follow and names to hunt. There was the last guard from the cabin. There was the choice of who he meant to be when his hunt ended.
He could not hear his own thoughts with the children’s laughter in the hall and Kristen’s scent in his clothes. He could not trust his feelings when her voice softened and made the world seem less jagged.
Across the courtyard, the outer gate stood open to the woods beyond. A pair of guards shifted on their feet and straightened when they saw him. He nodded once, and they responded with slight bows.
Lachlan stepped out of an arch and fell into his path. “Off somewhere?” he asked, half-teasing, half-testing.
“There is something I need to do,” Neil grunted.
“That is what ye said the last time ye disappeared.” Lachlan’s smile did not reach his eyes.
“This is different.” The words came out crisp. “I will return later tonight.”
Lachlan looked at him for a long beat, concern pulling at the corners of his mouth. “If ye say so,” he said. “Mind the weather on the ridge. It turns fast.”
Neil dipped his chin. He did not say thanks. The habit lived somewhere far behind his teeth and would not come forward. He passed his brother and did not look back.
The guards swung the gate wider, and he stepped out. Beyond the wall, the track curved toward the tree line.
The woods waited, dense and steady, a place with no voices and no eyes. A place where the noise in his head could settle into the rhythm of the wind and nothing else.
He took another step, and already, the air felt cooler. He drew it deep into his lungs and let it out slowly. Behind him, the castle carried on with its morning, but it was not enough.He needed something else. Something different.
The gate closed behind him, the sound echoing for a few seconds before it faded into the woods.
25
