“I cannot believe you’re calling me childish because I didn’t want to tell a complete stranger my favorite things about Christmas. You cannot be serious right now.”
“I’m completely serious, Sam. It’s Christmas. That’s what people do. They exchange stories about their family traditions. They bake cookies for each other. What the hell is wrong with you?”
She was right. I knew that every single thing she was saying was true, but I didn’t want to hear it. I wanted to retreat, not face my feelings. My immediate reaction was to pack my things and get on the first plane back to Florida to be by myself, to wallow in my misery. But I knew better.
Robin paced around the kitchen, nothing left to say, so I had to speak up. “Look, Robin, I’m sorry. He’s just a guy I met. It’s not that big of a deal. I will try harder.”
“Sam, he’s not just some guy. He’s our friend. And his daughter is friends with our kids. Do you not see how your behavior impacts others?”
“I’m sorry,” I replied.
“Look, the girls are going to be home any minute, and we’re going to get ready for the open house tour. I’m planning to make this Christmas, like every Christmas ever, special. If you want to come, then go get ready. But you need to put on a good face for my kids, okay?”
“Do you not want me to go?” I asked. I was hurt that she seemed to not want me there. Her tone was frustrated, and I understood it, but she always tried to make me feel better in the past. This time was different.
“Honestly, Sam, it’s up to you. I wouldn’t have asked you to come here for the holidays if I didn’t want you. But seriously, figure out how to fake it, or better yet, move forward like the rest of us have.”
She walked off, and I let her go. It was clear that we both needed some space, and I wanted some time with my thoughts. I went to my room and flopped down on the bed, trying to decide if I should stay away for a bit or if I should put on my big girl pants and just make more of an effort to keep my feelings to myself. Originally, I thought that I could just be myself and be sad when I wanted, but that clearly wasn’t the case. I didn’t know how to get out of my funk, though, and pretending was going to take some real effort at that point.
The girls came home, and I could hear them running around and getting ready. The Christmas open house tour was basically going from historical house to house to view their decorations, have a drink and a snack, and then move on to the next. Friendship had a decorating contest for the participants, and they received a trophy or something, and of course bragging rights. It was a fun way to stop by your neighbors’ houses and catch up while checking out their decorations and spreading some holiday cheer.
Inhaling a deep breath, I heaved myself up off the bed. It was time to get it together and be with my family. I changed into a fresh pair of jeans and boots, and one of the new sweaters I picked up while I was here, and headed back to the kitchen where the family was all gathered and getting ready.
“Aunt Sam!” Daisy shouted.
“Are you ready to go? It’s going to be so fun, and there’s so many good snacks,” Delilah added.
“Well, who can say no to good snacks? Certainly not me,” I replied.
Robin looked over at me and raised her eyebrows questioningly, so I smiled and shrugged slightly. What else could I do, but buck up? I wanted to be with my family, and I didn’t want them to have a terrible time because of me. Besides, the girls were right. Snacks are great, so I could pull it together for snacks and family.
As we walked up to the first house, Robin put her arm around me. “I’m sorry that I was so harsh with you, Sam. I don’t want you to ever feel like I don’t want you here with us.”
“I know, Robin. I’m sorry that I let my emotions get the better of me, and I promise to try harder,” I replied.
I gave her a squeeze back, and we didn’t mention it again. I thought the whole incident was behind us when we walked into the first house, and there he was. Jason Hayes, with his adorable smile, and with him was the cutest little girl who was racing toward my nieces at full speed.
Chapter Ten
Jason
It could not have been more perfect timing. I had been trying to figure out for a good chunk of the late afternoon how I could run into her again, and there she was. Emily ran like the wind toward her friends, and I greeted the Jameson family. Lastly, of course, was Samantha.
“I believe you’ve already met my sister, Samantha?” Robin grinned at me.
“Yes, yes I have.” I winked at Robin, and she walked away to talk to some of the other people milling around, and the kids took off together in another direction. Likely, they made a beeline toward the Christmas cookies.
Samantha was left standing in front of me all by herself. Absolutely stunning, she was smiling bashfully at me. “So, about today …” she started, but I interrupted her.
“Today was fantastic, Samantha.” She was trying to explain, but I didn’t want her to feel self-conscious, and my theory was that, if she were comfortable enough with me, she’d tell me what she wanted me to know when she was ready.
“Thank you.” She smiled. “I enjoyed chatting with you today.” Her eyes shifted around the room anxiously.
“Let’s grab a drink, what do you say? Something a little more festive than coffee,” I offered.
“That would be great.” She smiled at me, relaxing her shoulders.
There was some kind of holiday punch in a bowl, which seemed like the most festive choice, so I scooped out two cups for us and handed her one. “This looks like Christmas, so let’s give it a try,” I said.
