“The other point of which you should be aware is that Wickham tried to decamp after leaving Lucas Lodge.”
“As you predicted,” said Mr. Bennet.
“It was not difficult,” said Colonel Fitzwilliam. “His fellows in the regiment were most displeased with him, as I understand. The regiment would be obliged to settle his debts if he fled, and I understand his luck at the card tables had been abysmal on the rare occasions he joined.”
“And that,” said Mr. Bennet to no one in particular, “is how a young man, though granted every opportunity his situation could allow and treated with uncommon generosity by his patron, manages to ruin anyprospect of a respectable future.”
With Mr. Wickham’s activities confirmed, even Lydia had no more desire to defend him. Elizabeth did not know what would become of him, but she knew he had been confined while awaiting his fate.
It was perhaps poetic justice that Mr. Wickham spent Christmas Day confined in a cell. The Bennets, as was their custom, celebrated the day at Longbourn with the Philipses and the Gardiners in attendance. The addition to the company was Colonel Fitzwilliam, who proved his continued devotion to Jane when he found her under the mistletoe more than once, laughing with good-natured abandon at Mr. Bennet’s jests about the ubiquitous nature of his presence at Longbourn.
“We cannotalwaysbe correct, Lizzy,” said Jane as they were preparing to retire that night after their guests had departed for their homes.
Elizabeth looked up from her dressing table, bemused that Jane understood her, even when she could not quite understand herself.
“No, I suppose we cannot,” replied Elizabeth, her mind still replaying the events of the last days. “I hope you will not accuse me of excessive pride, Jane, but I do not think I have ever been so spectacularly wrong.”
“Perhaps,” said Jane. “Yet I cannot but suppose that error is good for us all—it reminds us that we arenotinfallible.”
The subject was not palatable, so Elizabeth changed it. “What of you and Colonel Fitzwilliam? Speaking of being wrong, it seems you are also correcting a mistake of your own.”
“Do you suppose that my esteem for Mr. Bingley was a fault?”
Elizabeth smiled and shook her head. “No, Jane, for he is a decent man. Given your attachment to Mr. Bingley, I wonder at the speed of your newfound attachment to Colonel Fitzwilliam.”
“We have spoken of this, Lizzy.”
The warning in Jane’s voice was no caution to one who knew her well, so Elizabeth had no trouble ignoring it.
“Yes, we have, but it has been some days since our last conversation. Will you not tell me how your feelings have evolved?”
Jane sighed and sat on the bed. “The truth is that I do not know if my feelings for Colonel Fitzwilliamhavegrown, Lizzy. What is more certain is that I was never in love with Mr. Bingley.”
Curious, Elizabeth asked: “I was not aware that you fancied yourself in love with him.”
“No, you are correct there. I didnotfancy myself in love with him. When he went away, I examined the strength of my feelings andwondered if Iwas.”
“Then you have concluded that you were not.”
Jane nodded, though distracted. “Yes, I understand enough about myself to know I was not. More, I am certain that I fancied the thought of being in love rather than feeling the reality of it.”
Elizabeth offered a slow nod to Jane’s confession. “I can understand how you might mistake it, Jane. We have spoken often enough of how pleasing the notion of being in love can be — enough to make us mistake the feeling.”
“That seems the true drawback of our determination, Lizzy. We must ensure that our feelings are true before we allow fancy to take us away.”
“I agree.”
“What is beyond dispute,” added Jane, “is that Colonel Fitzwilliamactslike a gentleman in everything he does. Mr. Bingley, for all his excellent qualities, was an amiable man, but lacking in some unfathomable way.”
“Perhaps it is the way he looks at life?” suggested Elizabeth.
“Yes, I suppose that is so,” agreed Jane. “There is something... serious about Colonel Fitzwilliam.” Jane shrugged. “That Mr. Bingley left Meryton without a word also does him no favors.”
“Colonel Fitzwilliam may do the same, though I would not wish to distress you.”
“Do not concern yourself, Lizzy,” replied Jane. “I am aware that any hope I might entertain for Colonel Fitzwilliam’s attentions may yet come to nothing. This time, I shall exercise greater maturity. At the very least, I shall not give my heart, even in part, to the colonel unless he gives me ample reason to do so.”
“This is all amusing, Jane,” said Elizabeth, favoring her sister with a grin. “Youdorealize you have just described the reality of the situation—do you not?”
