“I went to the church this morning, Mr. Bennet. Do you know what the parson informed me?”
Bennet knewexactlywhat the parson said, for he had done so at Bennet’s instruction. “Given my acquaintance with Mr. Smith, I can well imagine.”
That was nothing less than the truth, for Smith was not one to endure poor behavior. Whether commoner or noble, he would have no qualms at all about taking one to task for any perceived misconduct.
“I will own that I was not unsurprised,” said the lady, her tone more offhand now. “That your mercenary daughter would give up this farce she perpetrated on Darcy was more than I expected of her.”
The lady shrugged. “Then again, I must suppose it was not her doing, for Darcy must have seen the insufficiency of her pretensions and acted to rid himself of his imprudent millstone. Tell me, Mr. Bennet, how much did you extort from Mr. Darcy to end the travesty of his engagement?”
This was an offense beyond anything Bennet had expected. Far from making him wish to rail against this stupid woman, he determined to reveal the truth to her in a manner as uncomfortable as she had ever endured. It was not, perhaps, commendable to behave in such a manner, but the lady was well worthy of it.
“You suppose Darcypaidus to break an engagement?”
“What other explanation is there?” Lady Catherine sniffed with disdain, an action Bennet thought ingrained in her conduct. “Was today not to be the day of this supposed wedding?”
“It was,” confirmed Bennet. “What of it?”
“If Darcy did not bribe you, then why is there no one at the church? Why are you skulking in your library rather than giving your daughter away or offering your insufficient hospitality to your neighbors? Why is your house as quiet as a mouse?”
“Thereareanswers to all your questions,” replied Bennet.
Lady Catherine waited for him to speak again, and when he did not, she appeared most displeased. “Well, what are they?”
“Come, Lady Catherine, we are not so well acquainted that I would share such family secrets with one who is not, after all, connected to us.”
“Your very demeanor brands you as a lout.”
“And yours reveals you to be a termagant. It appears we both have failures we must overcome.”
By this time, Lady Catherine’s visage was purpling, for Bennet did not suppose she had ever endured such insolence from a man of his position. For a moment, she did not reply, appearing to master her anger, a concept with which she was not at all acquainted. When she spoke, the rage remained, but it lurked behind her arrogance, no doubt ready to be unleashed in a spectacular conflagration.
“Then I shall leave you to your squalor, Mr. Bennet, for I shall get nothing from you. Instead, I shall go to Netherfield and congratulate Darcy for coming to his senses at last.”
“I bid you farewell, Lady Catherine,” said Bennet. “But I would not advise you to go to Netherfield, for Darcy is not there.”
“Oh?” asked Lady Catherine. “Perhaps he went to London, hoping to cleanse the dust of this place from his person?”
“Darcy is not in London either.”
Again, it appeared Bennet had provoked Lady Catherine’s hackles to rise. “Foolish man! Is everything a joke to you?”
“Not at all, Lady Catherine. However, I find life is such that I must take my amusement wherever I can.Youare such a spectacle as to provide me with fodder for a sixmonth.”
“That is enough!” screeched Lady Catherine. “Tell me now, where is Mr. Darcy?”
“Why, he is in Ramsgate, Lady Catherine.” Bennet was enjoying himself, and even more because he was putting this woman in her place. “If you wished to know where he was, you should have asked.”
“Ramsgate?” demanded Lady Catherine. Then she appeared to understand. “Ah, the Darcy property there. Perhaps an unorthodox place to go, but I suppose he wished to take himself away from your daughter.”
“Not at all, Lady Catherine, for Elizabeth is in Ramsgate with Darcy.”
Shock bloomed on the lady’s face. “Your daughter is also in Ramsgate?” Her eyes narrowed. “That is far more audacious than I might have expected. Does she now consider herself his mistress?”
“Not at all, Lady Catherine,” snarled Bennet, this time pushed beyond all endurance. “Unless, of course, you refer to awife’sposition as mistress of all her husband owns.”
This time, shock was no fit adjective to describe Lady Catherine’s response. When she spoke, her voice lost all its overbearing power, for she seemed to have no notion of what to feel or say. “Wife?” It came out like the squawk of a chicken being strangled before gracing the dinner table.
“As of two days after you departed Hertfordshire last time, Lady Catherine.”
