“It appears the only way that she will desist.” Collins’s eyes raked over Elizabeth’s form. “Though I would not have such a woman for a wife, my patroness has demanded it of me, and I must obey. Somehow, I must mold her into a proper wife, not a welcome prospect for a man in my situation.”
His anger now matching Darcy’s, Bennet stepped forward and placed himself nose to nose with Collins. “I agree with Darcy, for you are as stupid a man as I have ever met. To my good fortune and that of my family, I no longer need to endure you. Go to your room and gather your effects, for I will not tolerate you at Longbourn for a moment longer. You will leave this instant.”
Collins gasped as if betrayed. “You would remove me from the house and make me find my way back to Kent now?”
“That is what I just said. If I am not very much mistaken, these fine gentlemen are within a hair’s breadth of beating you to a pulp. Thus, you may suppose that I do you a favor, for I may just be saving your life.”
“What of—”
“I will not hear another word! The matter is none of your concern. Now that I consider it, I do not trust you so far as to allow you to return to your room.
“Mrs. Hill!” snapped Mr. Bennet, knowing his housekeeper would be waiting for instructions. “Take a maid to Mr. Collins’s room and pack his belongings, then have John deliver them to the drive. Mr. Collins is departing from Longbourn.”
“At once, Mr. Bennet.” Bennet did not need to look at the woman to know how satisfying she found his command.
Collins appeared unable to comprehend what was happening. “W-Where shall I go?”
“Meryton has an inn, Cousin,” said Bennet. “I care little what you do, so long as you do it away from Longbourn. Given your threats and your attempt to impose your will on my daughter, no man can blame me for acting to protect her interests.”
Mr. Collins’s glare turned to haughty contempt. “This is nothing less than a betrayal. I can see my father was correct about you.”
“Since I had not the tiniest jot of respect for him,” jibed Bennet, “I find myself unmoved by your displeasure. Any man with a lick of sense can understand that you have misbehaved. That you cannot see it shows how senseless you are.”
That was not the end of the matter, of course, for Collins continued to plead, whine, cajole, and demand. When John, their footman, returned with Mr. Collins’s trunks, he joined Bennet and Colonel Fitzwilliam in forcing Collins from the estate. Bennet had never met anyone so convinced of the rightness of his cause as Collins, for even his father had not been so pigheaded. In the end, however, he departed from Longbourn with his trunk in hand for the mile walk to Meryton and the inn, and Bennet hoped he would be gone from the neighborhood by the following morning. Until then, Elizabeth would remain at Longbourn, for Bennet would not risk the man coming upon her on a country lane with no help at hand.
WILLIAM, THE WONDERFULman that he was, escorted Elizabeth into the house while her father dealt with Mr. Collins. As Elizabeth had escaped the parson’s anger and had managed a blow of her own, she felt little more than resentment for the stupid man’s actions.
“I cannot imagine a man so blind as Mr. Collins,” said Mrs. Bennet, her nerves getting the best of her emotions. “How couldhe think it right to enforce such unreasonable dictates on us all, and most of all Lizzy?”
“There, there, Maggie,” said Mrs. Darcy, soothing Elizabeth’s mother with the expert hand of long experience. “He is gone and will not return. Perhaps a tea service would help in settling overwrought nerves?”
Mrs. Bennet thought this was an excellent notion, for she called Mrs. Hill at once, and before Mr. Collins even departed from the estate, they were sitting with their cups in hand listening to the foolish man continue to berate her father. As focused on Mr. Collins as she had been, Elizabeth had no notion that Mrs. Darcy and Georgiana had traveled with the gentlemen, though she supposed it was not surprising. It seemed they had arrived while she was still making her way back to Longbourn with William, Georgiana’s position beside Kitty and Lydia a testament to her introduction to the rest of Elizabeth’s family.
When Mr. Bennet and Colonel Fitzwilliam came into the room after dispensing with Mr. Collins at last, William turned a glare on the latter, evidence that he had not yet mastered his anger.
“I know we spoke of it in jest, Fitzwilliam, but I cannot but suppose your auntisfit for Bedlam!”
“You will receive no argument from me, Darcy,” replied Fitzwilliam. “Lady Catherine has gone so far beyond decency that I can scarcely comprehend it. When I return to London, I shall inform my father.”
“Do you suppose it will help?” asked Bennet.
Colonel Fitzwilliam grimaced. “Unless he has her committed to the asylum, she will be nigh impossible to control.”
“That is what I thought,” muttered Mr. Bennet, shaking his head. “We may have seen the last of Collins, but I cannot imagine Lady Catherine will not insert her opinion after learning of her lackey’s failure.”
“I dare say it is inevitable.” Colonel Fitzwilliam turned to Darcy. “I have every confidence in your ability to withstand her. There has been no word from my father about Georgiana’s guardianship, but you may act with my full authority until Father confirms the change.”
William gave a tight nod. “Trust me, Fitzwilliam, I will take great pleasure in throwing Lady Catherine from the estate. If she will not desist, I shall call the constable.”
Fitzwilliam barked a laugh. “That will set the cat among the pigeons. My father will appreciate your solution, Darcy, and he may even allow her to stew in a cell for a time awaiting trial for trespassing.”
Then Fitzwilliam turned to Mr. Bennet. “As I understand, Mr. Collins is your heir?”
“He is, much to my everlasting sorrow,” replied Mr. Bennet, shaking his head in disdain.
“Then have you ever considered recovering the property?”
Mr. Bennet regarded him with evident curiosity. “I have heard that such measures are possible, though I have not looked into them. My brother in Meryton, who is my solicitor, is ill-suited for such matters, and I do not have the means to engage a city solicitor to take such a suit to court.”
