“We were, though I believe we had moved past that subject. If your mother wants her daughters taught by a companion,she must economize—there is nothing else to be done. There is another matter to consider, one that may improve our financial position.”
“Oh?” asked Elizabeth, noting the mischievous gleam in his eye. “And what might that be?”
“Why, only that there are two wealthy and eligible men sniffing about my eldest daughters,” said Mr. Bennet. “Should these men take them off my hands, there will be plenty of funds in the budget to afford a companion.
“Then again,” mused Mr. Bennet with a twinkle in his eye, “that will only be possible if your mother does not pauper me in the process of planning the weddings.”
“Yes, I suppose that is a consideration,” said Elizabeth, refusing to rise to his jest. “In the one, I will say the possibility is strong. The second, however, is fraught with uncertainty.”
Any hint of mirth ran away from her father’s face, and he regarded her with all the seriousness in his command. “While I would never insult your intelligence by suggesting you do not know what you want in life, I would counsel you not to dismiss this Mr. Darcy without careful consideration.”
“Are you now turning into a matchmaker, Father?” asked Elizabeth, arching a brow at him.
“Hardly,” snorted Mr. Bennet at the notion. “Darcy’s obvious wealth does not move me as it does not convince you, and I understand he did not present himself to best advantage. Since he has returned, however, he has shown a completely different side of his character.”
“This I understand, Papa,” said Elizabeth with a sigh. “You know my wishes. I cannot say whether Mr. Darcy fills them.”
“No, I do not suppose you can.” Reaching forward, her father took one of her hands and held it in his, an affectionate gesture he rarely offered. “I neither suggest you accept him should he propose, nor do I advise you to throw caution to the wind.What Iwillsuggest is that you take your time and learn about the man hiding behind the mask he shows to the world. Your lively temperament would put you at a great disadvantage in an unequal marriage, Lizzy—thatis the true reason I supported you when you refused my cousin.”
“I thought it was because I did not wish it,” said Elizabeth.
“That was part of it,” confessed Mr. Bennet. “But not all. No, I would not force you to marry where you do not wish. If, however, the man you refused would be good for you, I would at least rouse myself to speak to you and advise you to reconsider.
“Mr. Darcy is a different sort of man from my foolish cousin. Should you allow him to worm his way into your heart, I suspect he might be the making of you, and you of him. He is the sort of man that commands respect; the question is, does he respect you?”
Later, when Elizabeth considered her father’s words in the privacy of her room, she acknowledged his perception. He knew her as well as anyone, better, in fact, than Jane, whose disposition was far too sunny to consider such matters as her father had discussed with her. For Jane, love was all she ever wished—it would be enough for her. Mr. Bennet, however, had raised the specter of another important aspect of choosing one’s partner: the desirability of having a spouse’s respect.
It was a significant reason that her mother and father were often at odds. Mr. Bennet, quite simply, did not respect his partner, or at least he did not respect her capabilities. Mrs. Bennet’s sentiment on the matter was not nearly as clear. Elizabeth thought her mother respected her father’s authority, but as for the rest, it was difficult to say. Perhaps matters were improving between them, though they would never be the close companions she wished to find in a husband.
The question her father had posed at the end of his explanation stayed with Elizabeth for the rest of the day. Did Mr.Darcy respect her? In some ways, she knew he did, for he had spoken of the facets of her character he appreciated and spoke to her as an equal. Should Elizabeth marry him, she would have a companion with whom to speak, a man she could respect as capable, even admirable. She could not say the same had she accepted Mr. Collins.
In some ways, however, she could do nothing other than conclude Mr. Darcy didnotrespect her, though, with the recent changes in the gentleman’s manner, it was perhaps more correct to say that hehadnot respected her. By his own admission, he had approached her at the parsonage, confident that no woman could reject his proposal. His way of expressing himself, his resentment when she had refused all suggested that he respected her only in what she represented to him, a woman to whom he felt attraction, and—Elizabeth could now acknowledge—for whom he felt some measure of love. It was not her purpose to malign his feelings, but Elizabeth was convinced he had not been so deeply in love with her as he had supposed.
The more pertinent question was what he saw when he looked at her now. That was the question Elizabeth could not answer at present. The gentleman had spoken of his increased devotion to her, and his actions appeared to prove his assertion, at least to a certain extent. What man, for example, approached a woman again when she had so soundly rejected him the first time? Not a man so prideful as Elizabeth had supposed Mr. Darcy to be.
Could a man change his ways, move past his character flaws, and strive to be something better? Faults would always remain, for no one could achieve perfection in this life, but surely one could better themselves, and improve those defects that plagued them. Elizabeth hoped for just such an end for her younger sisters with the companion that Mr. Bennet meant to hire. Surely Mr. Darcy could do the same.
This was the most important decision of her life, for alifetime would be a long time to endure should she choose awry. Though she considered it to excess that morning, she came to only one conclusion. There was no choice but to meet Mr. Darcy with her heart open to the possibility of his claiming it. Her father’s advice had been excellent, for there was little else she could do. If Mr. Darcy did not excite the feelings in her that she wished, and if she understood he did not respect her, it would be better if she let him know gently and allowed him to go his own way. She would do them both a favor in such circumstances.
If, however, he showed himself to be her perfect match, she would be a fool to allow him to escape. Jane had already found all for which she had ever dreamed, and Elizabeth had confidence her sister would be happy with Mr. Bingley. A union with the man’s close friend would keep Elizabeth forever close to her dearest sister, another factor to consider. That Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley’s close friendship was a potential inhibiting element should Elizabeth decide against Mr. Darcy was not lost on her. Yet she could not allow that to affect her judgment.
Chapter XXVIII
Upheaval at Longbourn was no rare event. As Elizabeth had considered such matters at length before, she felt no need to lament the often chaotic atmosphere at the estate. The morning in question, the very morning of Elizabeth’s conversation with her father, led her to escape the estate in Mary’s company, she too being eager to retreat.
“I declare Jane has the patience of a saint,” said Elizabeth as they crossed the drive, and passed through the gate and into the village beyond.
“To deal with Lydia,” said Mary, “one must possess more than that. I consider myself a patient woman, but I have no desire to endure Lydia’s tantrums this morning.”
With a commiserating nod, Elizabeth lengthened her steps, eager to leave the loud and angry voices that even now pursued them from the house, Mary matching her step for step. Within a few moments, they had traveled beyond the range of Lydia’s piercing voice, through the village, and to the country lanes beyond. Only then did they slow their pace, reveling in the pastoral vistas opening before their eyes. Elizabeth had experienced this scene many times before, but it always moved her, the beloved views of her youth. Her world might change before long, meaning she needed to enjoy the simple pleasures, for who knew what life might bring to her door.
“Did you ever think Papa would suggest hiring a companion for our sisters?” asked Mary. “I can scarcely comprehend it.”
“Yet it is welcome, is it not?” replied Elizabeth, eager to avoid Mary’s question and not correct her misapprehension.
“Far more welcome to us than it is to our sisters.” Mary fell silent and considered the situation. “I suppose I had becomeinured to their behavior to a certain extent, and reconciled to the notion that someday they would ruin our family completely.”
“There is still a chance of that. The way Lydia behaved when they informed us, it will not surprise me if she steals away in the night with the first man to catch her fancy.”
