“Mhhm,” I whimper. My head falls back, my back bends, and I don’t know if I’m real anymore. “More.”
I hear his huffy excuse of a laugh. “You want me to tell you you’re a good girl, sweetheart? That you’remygood girl riding me like this. Fuck—Fuck!”
“Yes.”
I think my bones are about to break and shatter. Then they finally do with his hands tight around my waist, alternating between moving me up and down and in figure eights. I can’t breathe, I can’t think. The only words either one of us seem to know are each other’s name, and I think that’s enough.
“Fuck, sweetheart,” he grits through his teeth.
My body comes back to reality and I crash against his chest, my face buried in the crook of his neck. Breathless, I murmur, “I think I’m dead.”
My eyes flutter even though they’re already closed and I bask in the feel of his hands mapping my skin. His fingers traces lines and rivers and roads like he’s planning a journey and needs to memorize the way to his destination. They rest at a stop sign, lingering over my ribs, counting each road bump he encounters.
Then he moves, his fingertips like light taps as he counts each ridge of my spine. His fingers go up, up, up, and then hishand is cupping the back of my neck and urging me back to face him.
“Look at me,” he begs, “please.”
I sit back as far as he’ll let me with his arms around my back to keep me close. My hands remain limp on his shoulders, letting his warmth and skin burn through my palms. He reaches up and pushes a curl back from my sweaty cheek, tucking it behind my ear.
“I hope doing it exclusively in cars isn’t going to be a thing.”
He smiles. “It won’t.”
“Good.”
There’s a silent pause. A moment of his eyes trapping mine and even in the dark are his eyes bright when they look at me.
“You bring me a lot of comfort, Natalia,” he whispers. Another secret for the lamps. “Sometimes I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I should not have looked at him when he said that. “You mean when you’re horny and lonely?” I try to tease.
Rowan huffs a laugh but it only lasts a second or two. “No. I think that you make up a big part of me.”
I blink. Once. Twice. Thrice. Rapidly, taking in as deep of a breath as I can. “I?—”
“I know what you’re going to tell me, but I can’t hear it right now,” Rowan whispers. “I just need to hear you breathe for a while, then I’ll go home.”
“This is dangerous,” I mutter to myself. “This is…”
“My middle name is danger,” he says and I can’t contain the laughter that pours out of me.
“You’re such a dork.” I laugh and smack his shoulder playfully.
His hands hold my waist tight—a heavy comforting touch—and he gives me his boyish grin. “Never mind,” he says. “I needed to hear that instead.”
“Rowan…”
“I know,” he whispers and drops his forehead to my chest. He shakes his head. “You have to go.”
“I…”
He picks up his head and his lips catch mine instantly. My lips part with his and I take advantage of the moment to take a breath before I accept his kiss. All of them.
“You did that to shut me up,” I pant against his mouth, sucking on his tongue.
“I did that so you’d stop thinking too much.”
“I don’t do that.”
