“Natalia, you can stop apologizing for things you don’t need to be sorry for,” I say as I gently push back her hair.
“You didn’t let me finish,” she whispers.
I smirk. “Yes I did.”
She slaps my shoulders, stifling her giggle. I love those laughs. “Not like that. I wasn’t done with the rules.”
Rules.Fuckthe rules.I want her to be mine—my everything. Maybe that’s why this won’t end well. A friends-with-benefits agreement never ends well, it’s one of the oldest stories in the book. One of us will get hurt and I know it might be me. I’ve known it would be her that ruins me for everyone else since we were teenagers.
“Okay.” I try to not grumble. “Go ahead.”
Natalia swallows. “No sleepovers. Those get messy and lost in translation. I don’t want to…Confusion is…”
I suddenly want to carry her to my bed and hold her tosleep, wake up with her still on my chest, and lie there for the rest of the day, watching her breathe.
Do you know what it does to someone watching the person they’re deathly in love with breathe? It’s like watching the sun rise and set, it’s feeling alive, and it’s a constant adrenaline rush. Hell, that’s how it feels when she looks at me.
There’s no confusion on my side. Iknow—I’ve always known.
“It’s…It’s just sex,” she says. “Right?”
“This is just sex,” I lie.
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
You’re a fucking liar, Rowan Asher.
CHAPTER 14
Natalia
The door to Lana’s house swings open and she’s staring at me with furrowed brows as I stand in her doorway, out of breath.
“Rowan is a sex machine!” I yell and storm in, toeing off my boots before I head for the corkscrew in her kitchen.
“I don’t understand,” Lana says, racing after me.
“Is Isa here yet?”
“She’s on her way. What’s going on?”
I swallow and hold up the bottle. “I brought wine. I know, I’m sorry. If you don’t want me to drink it here, it’s okay. I just…I don’t know. I’m sorry, I didn’t even think.”
“Nat, breathe,” Lana says softly, putting her hands around my upper arms. I nod and we take deep breaths together. “It’s okay, Nat. We can have some wine.”
“Are you sure?”
She nods. “As long as we don’t leave any around—there’s never any alcohol in this house. And after Isa’s birthday…I just don’t think it’s agood idea.”
“I’m sorry.” I frown. “I’ll take it with me when I go.”
Lana nods, dropping her hands to the pristine marble island and pressing with her palms. “I trust him and he trusts himself.” She smiles proudly. “He just…He thinks he pushed himself and doesn’t feel comfortable with it around right now, and I support that.”
“I do too,” I assure her with my hand over hers. “We alldo. And we’re all very proud of him. ”
“I love you,” she whispers.
