“It’s taken a lot of work, trust, and communication,” Lana says. “Same as it will for you and Rowan. Relationships aren’t easy, but love is always simple. Love is one of the only things that is not meant to be painful or complicated.”
“I don’t love him,” I murmur. “And he doesn’t love me.”
Isabelle snorts beside. “Okay.”
“Isa,” Lana hisses.
“Sorry.”
The door to the back swings open and an employee sticks their head in. “Lana, Rowan’s here looking for you.”
“Thank you, Michelle.” Lana squeals. “We all know he’s really looking for you so I’ll go tell him where to find you.”
CHAPTER 12
Rowan
The Black Cat is so perfectly Natalia—there’s no other way to describe it. She’s always been into Halloween and witchy types of things. I remember her giving all of us tarot card readings just a few years ago. And outside of her bakery, today’s chalkboard is decorated as a tarot card, with Roman numerals on top for today’s date, and at the bottom, the card is called,The Muffin.
I snorted as I passed by it just a bit ago. Last week it wasThe Macaroon.
I pulled open the door to The Black Cat, hoping I’d see her there and find her right behind the counter with her finger tapping at the iPad. Instead, she was gone, and it was then I realized that this early, she’s usually with Lana at the bookshop cafe, baking for fun. Ever since Lana and Natalia opened their businesses around the same time after graduation, only two blocks from each, they spend their lunch hour and slow mornings together. I’m sure that if Isabelle wasn’t so caught up in dance, she’d spend the mornings with them in thekitchen too.
Standing in Books and Beans now, waiting for Michelle to find Lana, I pace. Memories of me and Natalia together have kept me awake and visited me in my sleep, and I’d be lying if I said none of it has made me painfully needy for her again.
God,the way we moved! The way we fit and the way she might have literally been made for me, and I for her…it was like nothing I’ve ever felt in my whole fucking life.
It’s her or no one.
I turn at the quiet squeak of a door and see two of the three girls.
“Oh hey, RoRo.” Lana beams, leaning forward with her elbows on the counter.
“Hey, LaLa.” I chuckle.
“Hey, Blondie,” Isa sings.
“Hey, BeBe.”BeBewas the best nickname we could all find for Isabelle when we were younger. We’re still trying new ones until the right one sticks.
Isa grimaces then asks, “Looking for Curly?”
I snort. I love that nickname. “I am.”
“She’s in the back,” Lana tells me. “If you’re planning on getting…close, there’s a hair net for you.” Then she winks and Isabelle snickers, her hands not-so-subtly covering her lips.
I roll my eyes, running my tongue over my teeth and doing a terrible job at not being amused. “Thank you, LaLa.”
Lana releases a happyhumphas I push open the door to the kitchen where I find the angel of a woman with her long curly hair trapped in a hair net that is way too small for the wild locks. Hair like hers deserves to be free and unruly.
Natalia blows out air in an attempt to get a rogue curl out of her eye as she holds a piping bag gently in her hands, moving slowly and deliberately. I walk slowly and quietly so asto not disturb her just yet, and simply watch and admire her for as long as I can.
I love her calm as much as I love her chaos.
I can admire her easily in both, but there is something so beautiful about her calm, and she deserves endless calm moments for the rest of her life. I’d trade all of my calm for her chaos so she didn’t have to go through any of it if I could. I’d keep myself in the eye of the storm, the center of the tornado if it meant she got to be in a safe house out of the vicinity of harm.
She mumbles a curse when her arm unintentionally jerks, but she’s good at what she does—she’ll just fix it right up and no one but her would ever know shealmostmessed up. When she finally sets the bag down gingerly, she wipes her forehead with the back of her wrist and finally puts that rouge curl back inside the hair net.
“Hey,” I finally say, causing her to snap her head toward me. Her eyes go wide and even more beautiful as she looks at me. “Busy?”
