Her long, dark, fanned out lashes bat in a slow blink. When her lids slide back up, the gaze is softer, warmer. “I’m…Yes.”
“You’re happy?”
“Y-Yes.”Lie.“Are you?”
“Yes,” I say and mean it. “I’m very happy, Natalia.”
“You are?”
I nod. “Sometimes there’s something missing. Someone.”
“Your mom?”
You.“Yeah.” I breathe. “Her too.”
“Oh, um…” She swallows audibly, her lashes batting again. “I’m sorry. Your mom…”
I don’t know how I’ve survived this long, really. It’s like tiny little deaths every time I want to tell her but she ends up walking away. It hurts worse when we have moments like these. It would be so easy to say it out loud right now.
She’s staring up at me with rounded eyes and those lips, parted, full, and pouty. There are so many things written in the shades of hazel; I wish I could translate them to understand what they mean. They confuse me. They let me think that maybe, just maybe, I could be lucky enough for her to want the same things. To want me.
“Will you let me know?” Natalia asks, soft and quiet. Her eyes drop quickly to my lips then back up to my eyes anddamn it.“About the cupcakes.”
The muscles of my abdomen go taut as though she’s laid her fingers on my skin. “Of course,” I rasp. “Thank you for them.”
“Of course.”
Her eyes flick to my lips again, so I mimic the action. I feel myself inch my face closer to hers. My forehead is so close tohers, I can feel the breath coming from her parted lips on my own, smelling of sweets and sugar.
“I should go,” Natalia whispers shakily.
“Right.” My voice is hoarse and low. Letting her go, I pull myself back and drop my hand from the door. “Will you let me know when you get home?”
She nods. “I’ll think about it.”
I huff a quiet laugh and undo the lock and latch of the door. “I’m walking you to your car then.”
“You don’t have to?—”
“I’m walking you to your car,” I say, walking out first to make sure it’s safe. “Come on.”
“Rowan.” She sighs. “It’s fine?—”
“Your car is right there, come on.” I wave my hand for her to come along and she finally does.
From her pocket, she pulls out her keys and I walk beside her with my hands in my pockets. I wonder what it’d be like to hold her hand when we walk together. How comforting and safe it would feel for me.
“This is me,” she says, and I pull open her door, letting her in first. “You left your restaurant unattended.”
I shrug. “It’s Willow Springs. It’s harmless.”
“Yet you are always worried about my saftey.”
“What can I say?” I smirk and hitch a shoulder. “My mother raised a gentleman.”
Natalia huffs, half smiling as she fastens her seatbelt. “I’m in my car now, you can go.”
I stand at her open door, wondering what kissing her goodnight would be like too. I spend too much time wondering. “Goodnight, Natalia.”
