He falls onto his side and pulls me back against his chest, lifting my leg over his hip. Then Rowan’s inside me and our moans fall together like a sweet song.
His name slips from between my lips, forming its own song in the air around us. I kiss him the best I can, taking anything I can before I lose it all. Because I know I will—it’s inevitable with me.
Tonight feels different though. The rain falling is the only music behind our voices and silent words. And for the first time, I think I can admit I’m making love with Rowan.ToRowan.
I’m letting this man make love to me and I give him everything I have left to give. Maybe he’ll never have to say it, and maybe I won’t either. Who has to when it feels like this? Like you justknow.It’s a fact of the universe, one they teach you when you’re young. A fact that is common sense and everyone should know.
I know.
He knows.
I think we are the sick, twisted epitome of what they mean when they say that words are nothing without action. Rowan Asher loves me and he behaves as such; words have never been necessary. Meanwhile, I’m the asshole with a mind just can’t let her be. And yet, he wants me.
His hips rock into mine gently even as he buries himselfdeep inside of me, stilling every so often to calm himself and let me feel every thick inch of him.
And it’s a holy experience all in itself. Or resurrection.
Oh, shit.
Yes, yes that is exactly what being with Rowan is.Resurrection.
He awakens parts of me I’ve spent so much time thinking were long gone—buried so deep they wasted away. But instead, he dug all of it up and poured life back into them. He’s poured life back intome.
And it scares me to admit: what if I don’t want that life? What if I can’t have the life he’s brought back to me? And what if I ruin it? Ruin him and us for good. What if it’smethat puts us in the grave before we have the chance to see where life takes us?
It’s me. It’s always going to be me that ruins things first, so it would be easier to break both of our hearts now before we both get hurt. Before loving him actually kills me.
“Natalia,” he groans in my ear and I reach to push my fingers through his hair, keeping him close. “Sweetheart.”
His lips brush along my shoulder, reverence in the touch and burning through my skin. He says my name again and all I can hear him say is how much he loves me. And I can’tunhear it now.
I can’tunhearthe way he says my name like I’m his savior. Little does he know, he’s my savior. He’s my prince, my knight.
But he can still get hurt in the war.
Why me?
“Why not you, sweetheart?” Rowan whispers in my ear just before he kisses my cheek. “Why not you?”
“What?” I breathe, my head lolling back.I said it out loud?
“Always.You.” He kisses my spine.
I’m on my back and he’s between the cradle of my legs. Even in the dark, his lips find mine so easily and I begin to mindlessly wonder, if I am, what he is for me? Could I be the light in his dark tunnel?
I tell myselfyes, and that’s why he finds me, every time. Without even trying.
“Always you,” Rowan says, his blue ocean eyes drowning me in everything he holds in his giant heart.
“For how long?” I rasp, letting myself sink beneath the surface.
“For however long you’ll let me,” he whispers, rolling his hips slowly and gently but pressing deeper somehow every time. “Natalia…”
“Hmm.”
My legs and arms wrap around him, the idea of not having him this close hurting, and his arms slip beneath the curve of my spine. I’m lifted as he sits back on his heels, and I’m sitting on his lap, feeling him deeper.
He holds me like I’m his to keep, my chest plastered to his as my lips brush his.
