“I have. Just no one I wanted to keep around.” Or whoever measured up to what Ioncefelt for Dice. “They’re boring. I get restless. Feel smothered. Relationships are too much effort. I can’t be bothered.”
“No one’s perfect, honey. Everyone comes with pluses and minuses. It’s the balance that matters.”
“Maurice balances out?” I retort, sharper than intended, but he’s the other half of the reason I’m resistant to lock down with a man. I’m not letting anybody control me.
“Your father can come across as curt. Some might say cold. But that’s just surface. He’s a good man who takes care of his family.”
That doesn’t land right with me. “Why can’t he be a good man and not be hard or cold? Uncle Mo isn’t like that.”
“They’re different people.”
Did you ever think you married the wrong brother?The question leaps to my tongue, but I catch it from spilling out. I don’t always. My mouth can sometimes outrun my brain, and it’s burned me before. Worse, it’s hurt other people. I’m trying to do better.
“Dice and I are talking again,” I say instead.Speaking of trying to do better.
Her smile returns. “You are? When did this happen?”
“A few days ago. I ran out of gas and flooded the washing machine. Both times, he showed up and helped. Even bought the cat a stupid bell that’s constantly ringing and named her Queenie… so, yeah, we’re talking.”
She blinks, looking at me like I’ve made her dizzy. “What cat?”
“Oh, I didn’t tell you. I found her on the back porch and took herto the shelter the next day. They examined her and all that. Looks like she belonged to somebody, but no one’s claimed her yet.”
“Why is she with you and not at the shelter?”
“Because she was yowling and carrying on like she was being tortured before I even got out the door. So dramatic.”
“Aw… she’s attached to you.”
“Ma!”
“Don’tMame. Taking care of an animal is a lovely thing, Lot. Embrace it.”
“I don’t like cats.”
“Well, it seems Queenie thinks you do. I can’t wait to meet her. Now tell me about Dice.”
“I just did.”
“The details.”
“We cleared the air and we’re going to start hanging out again. That’s all.”
“I’ll get the details from Rayne.” She smiles slyly like she has an inside track. “I’m just so happy you found your way back to being friends. You both cracked each other’s shells and formed something special. I’ve always liked Dice. He was dealt a tough hand and made something of himself. More than that, he has a good heart. Just like you.”
It’s not our hearts that are going to be knocking tonight. My body’s been on fire since we set the date. I intentionally didn’t use any of my B.O.B.s so I know I’m going to explode. But Mom doesn’t need to know that. She’s not a prude when it comes to sex, like Maurice is, but I’m not sure what she would think of me sweating up the sheets with Dice.
Rayne sits cross-legged on my bed in her silk pajamas, eating out of a box of chocolates—Godiva, her favorite. “Ohh, I love that,” she says around a truffle as I model a little black strapless dress that’s short and slinky, with a high side slit. “What shoes?”
“Docs.”
“Girl, you are not pairing that fuck-me dress with combat boots.”
“Why not? That’s my style. I like the contrast. Besides, I’m just gonna take them off when I get there.”
“It’s about making an entrance.”
Queenie winds her furry body around my ankles. She’s been clingy ever since I started getting ready. It’s like she knows I’m going somewhere without her. I take her to Docks, but I can’t be with her twenty-four seven.
