Could that be true? Had I not seen the signs, or had he hidden them? I want to believe it, but… “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“You were too important. Too special. I didn’t want to ruin our vibe with sex.”
“And now you do?” I persist, my skeptical brain warring with my eager body.
“Situation’s different now. Vibe’s different. You’re going back to New York.”
His words ram into me like a punch. I should’ve known better than to let myself indulge, even for a second, in some fantasy where Dice truly wanted me. My anger doesn’t creep in, it rolls in hot and fast.
I knock his hand away. “So, because I’m not important or special anymore and I’ll be gone soon, you think I should just spread my legs for you? Let you use me for a few weeks without any care or consequence?”
“Jesus, Lot. That’s not it. That’s not what I?—”
“Yeah, right. I know you. I know how you make women feel good, then discard them like day-old garbage.”
“Hold up?—”
“Save it. I should never have given you the time of day.”
“Lot—”
“You know what, Dyson? You want someone to fuck? Go fuck yourself.”
If I had a drink to toss in his face, I would. But all I have are my middle fingers and I use them with great emphasis before I storm down the hall.
Fuming, I find Tre, make my excuses, and grab my coat. My B.O.B. would have to do the job tonight. It won’t be anything close to banging the hell out of Dice, but it’s a whole lot safer for my heart and self-worth.
“He saidwhat?” Rayne sits curled up on one end of the sofa in her bonnet and robe, me on the other end still in my dress.
“You heard me.”
“I’m shook. Like earthquake shook.”
“So was I. The nerve of that man.” I’ve wanted him to want me for so long—but not like that. “He made it clear the timing was rightnowbecause there are no feelings involved and I’ll be gone soon. Just another honey. Another notch on his bedpost. Another kill to add to his body count. That ain’t gonna be me.”
“Damn right. You’re nobody’s convenience. Nobody’s drive-through. If he wants you, he better come correct and offer more than some Big Mac to go.”
“Mm-hmm.” I nod, still reeling.
“I can’t believe Dice would be such an asshole. I know he’s a player, but I always saw him as a good guy.”
“Like I said before, you might not know him as well as you think.”
“I guess not. But damn, that’s disappointing. Did he even try to explain what he meant?”
“What’s there to explain? He’s a walking red flag. Like, flashing neon red. I’m not fucking with that, Rayne. He said what he said, and I wasn’t gonna give him the chance to smooth out the edges with some bullshit.”
She shakes her head, still in disbelief. Dice might fool everybody else with his big-hearted player rep, but there was no heart in what he said. It’s not like I was expecting a relationship or for him to pledge his undying love—but his words were calculated. He reacted out of jealousy and ego, trying to one-up Tre and entertain himself with a new toy. Typical toxic male behavior. And I’m not here for it.
“So what happened to Mr. Winky?” Rayne asks.
“I told him something came up.”
“You gonna see him again?”
“Probably not. I’m just going to do my time at Docks. Be here for Mom, and step as soon as I can. Three weeks, tops. After that, I’m not sticking around to guard Maurice’s liquor or whatever. I have my own life.”
“What about Queenie?”
