He tucks me in tighter, holding me close. Leaning.
And in this evolving version of us, I lean right back.
Chapter Fifty
Dice
This is the one.
Lot’s face is half-buried under the pillow, tiger-print bonnet peeking out. She flew here just to keep me steady. That kind of ride-or-die love reaffirms my decision to move to New York, to make a life together.
Too restless to stay in bed, I kiss the sweet curve of her shoulder, and get up. Thirty minutes later, my arms are on fire as I grind out the last of fifty curls. Queenie’s scaling the dumbbell stand like she’s on spotting duty. I rack the bar with a heavy clank and switch to bench presses. But no amount of exercise can squash the guilt. Damon had left several messages and I’ve yet to respond.
I towel off and glance at Queenie. “All right, you standing by for moral support?”
“Meow.”
I rub her head, grab my phone, and tap Damon’s number.
He answers right away. Background chatter filters through, probably campus noise.
“Hey, Dice.” His voice is eager but uncertain, like he’s braced for rejection while still hanging on to hope.
“Got a minute?”
“Yeah, just finished class.”
I scratch my beard. “I should’ve called sooner. Didn’t know what I wanted to say until now. Hayden’s your dad. I’m not tryna step on that or trash him. But it’s not the same for me. I can’t just hop on board like we’re family.”
“I get it. I was expecting too much. My dad, too. That’s not fair to you.” His voice carries a maturity beyond his years. “I just don’t want it to change what we’re building.”
“My thing with you is separate from him. I gotta keep it that way.”
“Do you think you might ever give him another chance?”
“He had his chance,” I say without bitterness. “It’s too late for him to be a father to me. But I got my answers. I always wondered who he was and why he didn’t want me. Now I know. That’s enough to start making peace with it, whether I ever let him in my life or not. Can you live with that?”
“It’s not what I was hoping for,” he admits after a beat of silence. “But yeah, I’m okay with that as long as we’re good.”
“We’re good,” I assure him.
“Can I come see you in Bayside this summer?”
“I’ll have moved to New York by then.”
“To be with Lot?”
“Yeah. I plan to marry her.”
“Shit, for real?”
“Yep.”
“New York’s closer anyway.”
“Bet. I got a show in July.” I tell him about DJ Fest. “Come check me out.”
“You mean it? I’d love to come. That’d be so cool.”
