His voice goes thick now, and I’m hanging on every word.
“I thought I was winning. I had the best of both worlds—sharing a bed with someone I genuinely liked being with. Thought I could keep it all casual. But I couldn’t. That was just a lie I told myself. When the truth is…”
Another pause. A beat that holds everything.
“I’m in love with you, Lot.”
The whole world blurs. Boarding calls, rolling luggage, they all fade into nothing.
He said it.
He really said it.
I’m in love with you, Lot.
Hope blooms from all the years I longed to hear him say that. I dreamed about this. About him showing up, chasing me to New York, and finally saying he felt the same way I did.
But I know Dice. I know who I’m dealing with. A man whomoves on impulse. Who’s told women he loved them before. Who flits from one honey to the next. Who doesn’t want commitment. Who shuddered at that very word.
Am I supposed to believe this is different?
His eyes search mine, looking for my reaction. I swallow hard, my throat tight with conflict.
“These weeks together have been incredible,” I say, more thoughtful than my usual shoot-from-the-hip. “We’ve gotten closer. Our chemistry’s insane. Our goodbye was emotional. That can confuse things. Make you think it’s love when it’s just… heightened feelings.”
“I’m not confused,” he insists. “I know exactly what this is and what I want.”
“Which is what?”
“You and me. A relationship.”
Don’t go for the sugar rush, I warn myself. “What happens when I land back in New York and reality sets in? When we’re trying to fit in FaceTime between our schedules? And having to figure out whose city we meet in between managing our jobs. You ready for all that? To give up your carefree lifestyle, your honeys… for me?”
“I don’t blame you for having doubts.” His voice and demeanor remain calm, unwavering. “I questioned myself too. Fighting my own thoughts and feelings. But watching you leave took a huge chunk outta me.”
“That’s what I mean. You’re reacting to me leaving.”
“It’s not just that, Lot.”
I study him for any crack in the foundation. I don’t see any, but still, I press again. “You’ve told women you loved them before.”
“I haven’t,” he denies, firm as stone. “Not once. I tossed the word around loosely with C, bullshit guy talk. But I’ve never said it to a woman. Never meant it—until you.”
“I want to believe that. I really do. But…”
“You’re scared.”
“Yeah. I am.”
“So am I, Lot. I haven’t done this before. I’m scared of fucking it up. Of not being the man you need and deserve. But I’m also ready and willing to work hard to be. No gray zone. Something real and defined. Respecting your independence. Supporting you and your career. Whatever you want to do, I’ll be there lifting you up. The long distance won’t be easy. I know that. A relationship requires hard work. But I’m here, ready to try. Asking you to take a shot on me. A shot on us.”
Oh God, I want this. So bad it hurts. “You mean it, Dice?”
“Hell yes, I mean it. I didn’t just bust my ass to get here in time and buy a plane ticket I don’t need on a whim. I love you, Lot. I want to be with you. Just you.”
“I swear, Dice, if you break my heart?—”
“I’ll answer to Queenie.”
