“Uh…no.” Not even close.
Mick’s rarely unsure of himself but he is now. “Do you…um…hate the idea?”
I’m scared. Confused. Excited. Elated. Terrified. But nowhere among that mix of emotions is hatred. “N-no. You just caught me off guard. I’m supposed to go to Amherst and you’re supposed to go to NYU. I’ve never let myself hope for anything more or different.”
“I have,” he says, caressing my cheek. “I can see my future so clearly in my head, Dee. And you’re in it.”
But how we can do this? There are too many obstacles. The tapes start playing about me not being good enough...lovable enough. It scares me to even think of stepping outside the safety of this world we’ve created, where only the two of us exist. “If I follow you to New York, everybody will know.”
“I want everyone to know, Dee. I’m tired of sneaking around.”
“I thought you were worried that Papa T wouldn’t approve.”
“I am, but I’m hoping after he hears how serious I am about you, he won’t disown me.”
I doubt that would ever happen. Papa T loves him like a son, but Mick’s fear is real. “Victor already knows,” he says.
“What?” Panic crowds my stomach. “You told him?”
“Yesterday he pressed me about it. Seems he had suspected for some time. When Victor came right out and asked, I couldn’t lie.”
That explains the strange looks Victor was giving me yesterday over dinner. But I don’t understand.
“Then why hasn’t he said anything to me?”
“I asked him to let me tell you first. And to let me…us tell Papa and Mama T.”
My head is whirling like it’s on the spin cycle. “What was Victor’s reaction?”
“He agreed that we should be the ones to tell them.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Not that. What was his reaction to finding out about us?” I’m not close to Victor the way Mick is, but I love my foster brother, and his opinion is important to me. When Mick remains silent, the panic pushes harder. “Tell me.”
“He’s not crazy about it, I guess.” Mick shrugs vaguely and stares off toward the lake.
“You guess?”
“It doesn’t matter, Dee.”
“What your best friend thinks doesn’t matter? Your best friend who’s like a brother to you?” I balk at that.
His dark eyes crawl back to mine. Whatever Victor said is still there. “Okay, it matters,” he admits. “But not as much as this. I’m not just asking you to change your college plans and move to New York without some kind of commitment, Dee.” He reaches into his back pocket and produces a blue velvet box.
Speechless, I’m floating in a dream as I watch him open the lid. It’s as if this surreal moment were happening to someone else. Only it’s not someone else. It’s me.
Inside sits a gold band with a diamond-encrusted heart in the center. He lowers one knee to the ground. “This is my heart, Dee, and it’s yours forever.”
Maybe I’m hallucinating. “You want to marry me?”
“That’s generally what it means when a guy’s on bended knee with a ring in his hand,” he says lightly.
But I can’t joke. “Are you sure, Mick?” I have to ask. The cautious side of me that’s been hurt too many times insists.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything. I want this, Dee.” He sobers. “I want you.”
I frantically search his face for any signs of doubt, but all I see is the love I always see there.
“Do you believe me?”
