She opens her mouth as if to say something, then seeming to change her mind, clamps it shut and nods. Reaching into her pocket, Mama pulls out the bracelet she was working on before we got called into the clinic. “Give me your arm,” she says, her hand out.
I do as she asks, and she secures the platinum bracelet on my wrist above the gold one.
I mutter a quick “thank you” and pivot around to get into the carriage, but she stops me with a hand on my back. “I’m sorry,” she says. There’s no need for her to say what she’s sorry for.
I twist back around, a phony smile plastered on my face. “Don’t apologize. You saved Sariah’s life. That’s what’s important.”
She nods. “I know you were just trying to help—”
“I know. It’s fine.” It really isn’t fine. Not so much because my mother pushed me away, but because it just underscores how useless I am. Then, of course, I get angry with myself for even feeling that way because what kind of self-consumed, awful person harps on something so minor, when a girl almost died? My fragile ego is just going to have to get over it. So, I smile and give her another hug and promise to be safe, and if I’m blinking too much and having trouble speaking because my throat is swollen, she doesn’t seem to notice.
4
It’s easy to forget the whole city of Cairn lies beyond the dom’s gates, with fae going about their daily lives. It’s like I’ve entered another world where buildings are made of brick and wood instead of limestone and the familiar scent of baked bread intermingles with the sulfuric smoke from the textile mill, like a rotten egg sandwich. Grocers, apothecaries, booksellers and the like, line the street where boys stand, shouting at passersby to “read all about” some bit of news I don’t really care about. Smartly dressed merchants in frock coats and top hats pass soot-covered factory workers, both pretending not to notice the beggars and passed-out drunks on the walkways. The ladies shine like jewels in the otherwise dreary landscape, and though I envy their colorful dresses and feather hats, I’m grateful I only have this corset to contend with and not the bustle so many wear. How anyone can sit with their backside puffed out like a ruffled-up tabletop is beyond my comprehension.
I’m so engrossed in looking around the city, I don’t even realize we’ve reached the train station until the driver stops the carriage just outside the one-man ticket booth. Leodin must have already secured our seats because he walks right past the booth and the line of travelers waiting to purchase their tickets.
I’d seen a train in books before, but I have to say, photographs didn’t do the behemoths justice. It isn’t just their size, which is considerable, it’s the scraping of the wheels along the track, the power of the engine, the scent of smoke permeating the air and the ear-piercing blare of the horn.
It’s simply overwhelming.
Once inside, with the ruckus of the train station somewhat muted and sitting in our little private compartment, the tension twisting my chest finally begins to ease. Then Duke Berezin arrives, and it seizes right up again. The duke holds the highest position in Elterra province. He is also friends with my stepfather and a disgusting pervert who is as round as he is tall, with breath like he eats corpses for breakfast and a face worthy of a paper bag. If that sounds terribly unkind, that’s because Berezin, for all that he is married, can’t seem to keep his sweaty hands to himself. Every visit from him I’m forced into a game of cat and mouse, which I am generally on the losing end of. To make matters worse, he doesn’t even try to hide it from Leodin. Not that I’d expect Leodin to care. I’m sure he would happily hand me over to Berezin if he thought it would improve his political standing.
Leodin and I jump to our feet, and he bows while I make a wobbly attempt at a curtsy. Berezin bids us to sit, and I consider making a run for the toilet, but Leodin is giving me the be-nice-or-you’ll-regret-it look, so Isit back down. In our compartment, there are two long velveteen benches facing each other with plenty of free space on both, but Berezin, being Berezin, sets his expansive backside down right next to me.
“Hello, Katya.” The way he says my name makes my skin crawl… or perhaps it’s his foul breath heating my cheek.
“Your grace,” I reply.
“How long has it been? Two months?”
Not long enough.“Yes, your grace.” I smile, or at least I attempt a smile. The sides of my mouth turn up, but the way I’m gritting my teeth can’t possibly look natural. I’m terrible at hiding my feelings. Mama says it’s my honest nature, but that’s just her being kind. The truth is, I lack even the tiniest modicum of patience for the games people play.
“Two weeks,” he begins as he drags a plump finger up my arm. He leans in closer, his rank breath painting my ear. “Plenty of time for us to get to know each other better.”
I bolt out of my seat just as the horn sounds and the train begins to move. I throw out a hand to grip the wall before I crash back down on top of the nasty bugger.
Seemingly unperturbed by my reaction, Berezin pulls the watch from his vest pocket and flips it open. “Right on time, excellent. Who would like a drink? It’s on me.” He says the words as though he’s addressing us both, but his slimy gaze is firmly locked on me.
“Very thoughtful of you, your grace,” Leodin says, a tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lip. At least someone’s finding this situation amusing. “But perhaps the debauchery could wait until after lunch?”
“Pshaw,” Berezin says with a dismissive wave of his hand. “You are no fun, my friend. And how about you, Lady Katya?”
“Thank you, but I’m going to take a walk and look around a bit. Excuse me.” I start for the door, but Berezin grabs me by the wrist and tries to tug me back into my seat.
“There’s nothing to see,” he says. “Stay and have a drink with me.”
I snatch my hand back. “No. Thank you.” Leodin raises a bushy eyebrow but doesn’t comment. “Excuse me,” I say again and sprint out of the compartment.
Sliding the door shut behind me, I pause long enough to hear Leodin say, “You’re never going to get anywhere with that one, so you might as well let it go.”
“Ah, but it’s the chase that’s so much fun,” Berezin replies.
My hands curl into fists at my sides. It’ll be a lot of fun when I separate his privates from his body. Shaking out my hands before my fingernails slice through my palms, I head down the narrow corridor, stopping at the doorway that leads out into what I’m assuming is the dining car.
It has all the trappings of luxury without any of the style. A rich mahogany veneer covers the walls and tables, while the booths and floors are decorated in clashing patterns of burgundy and gold. Add to that, the miniature chandeliers and gold-plated dishes and it’s a wonder passengers maintain their appetites after entering. Fortunately, I’m not here for the food. I slide into the ridiculously ornate booth and rest my forehead against the cool window. The world whips by at a frightening speed, the lovely fall leaves reduced to streaks of red and orange and yellow against the clear blue sky. Ranook is only a few hours away from Dom Duje by train. Still, it will be the furthest I’veever been from home.
I shift in my seat, wishing I’d thought to bring a book or something else to divert my attention for a few hours. Excitement and trepidation plague me in turns, leaving me twisted and frayed like a freshly wrung towel. I can’t even begin to understand what Leodin is up to. I am no spy. There’s a tiny part of me that wonders if this is a bid to get rid of me once and for all—dump me off on some rich noble and be done with me. He probably thought I’d be married by now, but who would want to marry a bastard, with virtually no magic, who spends all her time with her nose in a book?
