I smile.Mostly because I don’t know how to respond.If I were with Levi, his mom and I liking each other would be a good thing, but we’re not.In fact, he’s engaged to Gabriella now.I toss the pillow aside and carefully get up.I open the little fridge.Cheese, protein bars, apples, and water fill its contents.
“Tate, we’re going to rest a bit before the next stop,” Callie calls as she and Tim walk single file down the narrow walkway toward the back.
I close the fridge again.Maybe some tea?I open an overhead cupboard where I’d seen a couple boxes, pulling down what I can reach.I decide on the green mint tea.
The remaining part of the process is almost automatic.I don’t think about finding a mug, I think about a young Levi refusing to go back to church.I don’t walk myself through pulling down the red-hot handle of water, I think about Levi creating a business by himself that allowed him to hire his best friend.And I definitely don’t remember taking careful steps, tea in hand, towards my purse.I think about Levi’s panic attacks and how it all makes sense now.The whole process is a blur, especially the part where I send him a text and wait for a reply.I stare at the screen.His name over our last text, the date that pops up when it’s been a while, and my simple “hey.”Doubt plagues me.Should I not have sent anything?I roll my lips into one another.I wish he would have told me what happened to him.His actions wouldn’t have felt so cold.But now...now it might be too late.
“We’re exiting the highway, Tate,” Adam announces from the front of the bus some time later.This is our first show working together, but he’s great.He’s always happy and makes sure I’m where I need to be.I close my phone as he comes to take a seat next to me.I smile.He’s wearing a black sweater with a small zip at the neck and khaki pants, his unofficial uniform.
“You nervous?”
“About what?”
This causes a big laugh from him.“You’re about to open your first show, silly.”
“Oh, right.Um, no...not really,” I say honestly.“The one good thing American Icon did for me was break me in a bit, but that’s not to say I’m not excited.”I stretch my smile.
“True.Okay, so when we get there, you go straight to rehearsals.They could only promise twenty minutes.Then straight to hair and wardrobe.You’ll go on from six to six forty-five and then you’re done for the day!”
The wheels squeal to a stop, followed by the sound of high-pressured air.
“We’re here, people.”Adam claps once before going to shake the driver’s hand and press open the door.Light streams in, and it’s only been four hours, but it might as well have been a lifetime.Callie, Tim, and the band rush from the back.Everyone is as happy as I am to touch ground again.When I step out, I’m surprised by the size of the TQL Stadium.I’ve seen it in pictures and on TV but this...this is pretty cool.
“There’s the smile I’ve been waiting for!”Adam’s arm curls over the top of my shoulders, quickly walking me towards the entrance.
“I don’t want to add any pressure to you, you know that, right?”He drops his head in front of me, giving me the sincerest puppy-dog face.
“Right.”
“But since you’re so easy-breezy, let me just say, you have to kill it tonight.”He turns, facing me, just steps from the stadium, holding the balls of my shoulder.“No one will tell you this, but I believe the truth will set you free.If this show goes south...you might as well start packing your bags for Alabama.”
“Louisiana.”
“What?”He drops my arms with a face that says, did you not just hear what I said?
“I’m from Louisiana.”I laugh.“Remember, you wanted me to take you to Mardi Gras and I said no...”
“Beads, yes!We’re doing that.”He’s nodding to himself.“Okay, you ready?”
“After that pep talk, who wouldn’t be?”I wink at him.
“Right?Alright, let’s do this!”He leads the way through the cement tunnel, and it feels like I’m walking through a portal into a dream.
***
After what felt liketwenty-five minutes of adjusting microphones, I’m ushered into another room for hair and makeup.I stop and take in my name on the door.I should take a picture.
“Hey, Callie, can you take a picture of me next to my name on the door?Or is that too cringe?”I wince.
“Absolutely not!”She laughs.“Here, give me your phone.”I pull my phone from my back pocket, and it lights up.Levi’s name is sprawled across the banner at the top of my phone.Somehow, I had forgotten I texted him.Callie’s hand is out, waiting for the phone, while everything in me wants to read the text.
“Tate?”She gives me a concerned look.I swipe his name over with my thumb before opening the camera.She takes a couple pictures.
“Thanks,” I say, looking down at them.“I’ll probably ask you to do that again at some point tonight.This whole day is—”
She cuts in.“Deserved?About time?Finally?”
“I love you.Thank you for being here.”
