“How many?”the man operating the Ferris wheel barks at us.We both look up at the same time, surprised the line has moved.
“Um, two please,” Tate replies, because I’m apparently speechless.
He grunts once but accepts my card and lack of conversation skills.Tate climbs into the red gondola on the dock.I look at it and everything inside me is screaming, This is a really bad idea.You are on the brink of a panic attack, and you hate heights.
“Levi— I mean, Jethro?”She looks up from under all that black.The most unnatural thing I’ve ever seen is Tate without color, but somehow, her face brings me out of myself.I’m present, not in my head or in my body.I climb in and the gondola swings in response to the weight.Normally, that would have me stepping back out, but somehow the fear of the experience is pulling me out of the panic inside my head.That’s how I started singing.Being on stage forces you to be present.The bench of this thing is small, the size of a footstool really.My thighs press into Tate’s as she brings up her side of the belt.
“Buckle.”
I find mine and wait for the reassuring click.She’s smiling like she didn’t just tell me she wants to throw away her future.I loop my arm over her shoulder, pulling her into my chest.“Tate, we should talk about...”I clear my throat.“About what you said.”
“Let’s not.”She wraps her arms around my waist and squeezes.The ride starts as we slowly roll up to the top.I want to press, I want details, but not more than I want to enjoy the day with her.Especially if it’s one of our last opportunities.Once we get to the top, we can see everything—where we were dropped off, the choppy cityscape in the distance, and the smaller Malibu Pier in the other direction.At the far end of the pier, I finally spy the arcade.Bingo.The wheel goes around and around two more times before coming to a stop where we started.
“Come on.”I look over at Tate, her body close to mine as we move along, loving that I get to touch her like this.I can hold her hand, I can pull her into my side...but can I kiss her?Will I try?It didn’t work out so well for me last time, but this is different, isn’t it?
She looks up at the sign above the door, reading it aloud to me.“Arcade?”
“You into it?”She hesitates and I immediately back down from my plan.“Cause if you’re not, we can totally do something else.”
Her eyes flick to the inside where it’s dark, with the exception of the neon lights coming off the games.“Depends...”
“On?”
“On whether you can handle me whooping you at Skee-ball.”She laughs, sliding from her place beside me and into the darkness of the arcade.I catch my reflection in the distorted mirrors of a game.The hat has to go.I pull it off, finger-combing my hair back into submission.Tate is already lined up next to the lanes.Lights, noise, cheering and curses—an arcade lullaby.Tate and I are by far the oldest people in here, aside from parents trailing their kids through the aisles.A Zoltar promises us the future as his robotic arms float above a glowing orb.Tate is looking everywhere and nowhere at the same time.Purple and green lights reflect off her eyes.
I lean down till my mouth teases the shell of her ear.“I’m going to get us some tokens.Do you want anything else?”
She surprises me when she turns towards me, and for a second, I think we might kiss, but then she says, “This wig is killing me.”
Her cheeks do look a little more pink than normal.“What do you wanna do?Do you want to leave?”
“No way!I’m just going to take it off.Do you think you can get me a bag, so I don’t have to carry it?”
My eyes do another lap around the arcade.“You sure?”
“Yeah, these people are too busy with their games to care about me.”
“Alright, I’ll be back,” I say, breaking away and weaving my way towards the counter.When I get back, Tate’s gone.Panic creeps up the back of my neck.I start walking as quickly as I can in these dang sandals, up and down the aisles.Does she have the wig on still or did she take it off?I miss the overwhelming color that announces her presence from across the room.I make it to the end where they keep the larger games like basketball, Wheel of Fortune, and Skee-ball.Bingo.The wig and bandana are balancing on the edge of the game as a guy stands back for Tate as she winds her arm back and throws it, landing the corner pocket.
“No way!”The guy says grabbing onto her shoulder in a congratulatory shake.
Something pops at the edge of my jaw, the sound crunching into my ear.
“Tate!”I work to keep my voice neutral.She looks over, her smile climbing her face before she runs and jumps into my arms.Clay’s hat and the bag with our tokens fall to the floor.Her face hovers above mine, eyes smiling.
“What’s all this for?”
“Just felt right.”
