“Get what together?I have it together,” I bark, coming to a stand.My cheeks are tight, and my body is hot.A telltale sign that I’m about to lose my temper or have a panic attack, and right now, I’m not sure if there is a better option.Clay holds his hands up by his chest, taking one step backwards.Gabriella looks bored, but steps between us.
“Listen, you hothead, if we’re going to be friends, you need to be able to listen to us without getting upset.This is coming from a place of concern.We miss you, man.You haven’t come out to drink with us one night this week.”
Is that true?I haven’t?I dial back through the week and...she’s right.I’ve been rehearsing, working out, eating, sleeping, and thinking about Tate.
“I’ve been busy,” I say, picking my hat up off my head so I can run my fingers through the top of my hair before putting it back on.Gabriella’s eyes are still locked on me.She’s not done, but her energy isn’t heated.It’s...sad?
I’m about to ask them if they want to grab a drink tonight when my eyes catch hers.Tate.She smiles and I’m pretty sure I lose brain cells, because I don’t know what I’m doing or where I am.Heck, I wouldn’t even trust me to chew bubble gum right now.She looks epic.Her hair, which normally runs wild over the tops of her shoulder, is combed into submission into a tight ponytail at the base of her neck.She’s walking towards us now.Her dress is unlike anything I’ve ever seen.Lavender-colored fabric mimicking water falling in horizontal strips from her chest to about midthigh.My eyes scrape down shapely legs, wanting to feel them with my rough palms.My hands twitch at the thought while my pulse hammers in the side of my head.If that wasn’t enough, when I get to her feet, she’s got on a pair of metallic ankle boots.When I pull my eyes up off the ground, she’s close enough to touch.Her mouth breaks open into a wide, country-road smile.The kind you get lost on and become a part of all at the same time.Where all your favorite memories start and end.
“You look like a giant loofah.”Gabriella giggles.Tate’s eyes slide from mine to hers and I instantly miss them.“Good to see you too, Gabby.”
“Gabriella,” she quickly amends.
“I think she looks fire,” Clay says, stepping in from nowhere and wrapping her in a big hug.I feel my fingers curl into my palm, and I have to remind myself that he’s my friend.The hug lasts longer than my molars can handle as my jaw clamps shut.
“Alright, alright, get out of here, guys.The show is going to start, and I need to talk to Tate before we go on.”
Clay releases her at the same time the anvil on my chest does, but not before tossing Gabriella a knowing look.Gabriella’s eyes glitter mischievously, and I think I just provided her a weapon.
“Aren’t you guys the last performance?”she says.
“What’s your point?”I know my words come out a little sharper than they should when Tate’s eyes flick over to me questioningly.
“My point,” she snaps back, “is you have plenty of time.”Her smile is sticky, like the floor of a bar, and it takes everything in me not to say something.“Hey, Clay, didn’t you say you don’t have a picture with Tate for your scrapbook yet?”
“Oh yeah!Hey, Tate, if you don’t mind, I would love to get a picture.I’m making a sort of memorabilia book to look back on.”
“That’s so sweet.”She smiles.“Yes, of course!”
Clay slots himself at her side, Tate fitting right at the apex of his armpit.More hugging...fantastic.I scratch against the line of my jaw, looking anywhere but in front of me.Jan is at the corner of the stage, watching each and every performance with the enthusiasm of a parent.
“Yes, you guys look so good together!”Gabriella’s praises have me glancing back.They should have the shot anyway.“Oh, Slater.”Gabriella stops him by the arm.“Want to jump in the picture?I know you and Tate are close.”
Close?I feel my throat closing up.Close how?I completely forgot about him.Forgot to ask her why the H-E-double hockey sticks she was practicing with him in the library.She’s looking at me.I feel it, but I can’t look back.Not right now.
“Yeah, why not,” Slater says, taking the other side of Tate.Through the puff of fabric, I watch as he treads his arm around her waist till it comes out the other side gripping her hip.My stomach bottoms out and I’m pretty sure I’m going to be sick or get in a fight.
“Okay, squeeze together tight,” Gabriella says from behind the phone.
I need to get out of here.Go for a walk.I hate Gabriella, and maybe Clay, but definitely Slater.I weave through the other contestants, down a hall, till I reach the back door leading to a small parking lot.Mid-November has brought a new crispness to the air.Not quite like the one we get in Tennessee at this time, but a slight nod to the change of seasons.There is a traffic light up ahead.I watch it change from green to yellow to red and back again.Why do I let Gabriella get under my skin so bad?This thing with Tate is taking over my life.I press my fingers into my eye, fighting the pressure building there, when the door swings open behind me.I turn slowly to find Clay.He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
“Hey, man, what are you doing out here?”It’s sincere and I can’t help but think he is the only person in our group without a motive.He’s just Clay and I’m grateful for the simplicity.
“Nothin’ just needed some air.How are you?”
“Good.I think my set went well.Hey, I was going to ask, are you going back to Tennessee during the break?”
“No.We don’t really celebrate anymore.I’m going for Christmas though.”The day my dad left, he took Thanksgiving with him.It wasn’t that we didn’t have things to be thankful for anymore, but somehow making a whole turkey and all the fixings for two people made less sense than making it for three.My mom usually gets invited to one of her church friends’ houses, and I go fishing, but not this year.I’m going to have a Los Angeles Thanksgiving.
“I hear ya.It’s only two-ish hours for me and, honestly, I would walk for my nana’s pumpkin pie.She makes an extra one just for me,” Clay says, and I laugh.
“Well, we had better get you inside.I think Tate said you’re two performances away.”
I nod, walking back towards the door I came out of.
“Hey, Levi?”Clay calls from behind me.I turn, eyebrows raised.“I don’t have a picture of you and me.You mind?”
“Not at all, man.”I lean back as he holds his phone horizontal, slightly above us.At the last minute, I hold up a winning number one finger.
