Jane asked, “What is it, Lizzy?”
“I cannot find my night shift. I have no idea what Ellis did with it. I cannot find any of them.”
Jane said, “Perhaps Ellis has taken them to be laundered. Aunt purchased new ones for you. Why can you not wear one of those?”
Elizabeth reached into her trunk and drew out the first gown, holding it up for her sisters to see. They began to giggle.
Mary said, “I can see you right through that gown, Lizzy.”
Jane added, “It is hardly conducive to a night of sleep, is it?”
Elizabeth stopped giggling. “It is not funny. I am not prepared for… for intimacies, and I have no wish to dress as if in invitation.”
Jane said drolly, “Well then, sister, you have no choice but to borrow one of Mary’s night shifts. They button up to just under the chin, the sleeves are long, and the hem reaches all the way down to your toes.”
Both sisters looked at Mary, and then all three began to laugh.
“Just so, sister. Mary, lend me one of your nightgowns. Jane, I sent Ellis away for the night. Help me with my buttons.”
She began removing her hairpins. When her hair fell loose about her shoulders, she massaged her scalp and sighed.
“Oh, that feels so good. My head aches from the weight of it. I shall ask Ellis to cut it for me now that I know how skilled she is at dressing hair.”
When she was attired for bed, her sisters stood side by side, lingering expectantly.
Elizabeth looked down at herself. “What is it? Is the gown stained?”
Jane shook her head. “No, Lizzy. You said you would tell us…you agreed to share what Aunt Gardiner taught you. What she taught you aboutit.”
Elizabeth bit her lip. “Yes, I did, and you are not going to let me off, are you?”
They stood silently, waiting.
“Very well then, if I must, I must. Sit here and do not look at me.”
The three sisters sat on the edge of the bed while Elizabeth shared her knowledge in fits and starts. When she had finished, they sat in stunned silence, staring at the wall.
Mary finally spoke. “Lizzy, I see now how it was easier for you to speak to Mr. Darcy about waiting than to face such activities with a man you hardly know.”
Elizabeth giggled. “Yes, I was very motivated to set things straight with him, especially after his insulting remarks about my charms, or, in his opinion, lack of them.”
Mary said, “You need not give his opinion another thought, Lizzy. You are accounted a local beauty, second only to Jane. And if we may judge by Mr. Collins’s attentions, men do find you attractive. If Mr. Darcy does not, it is not from any lack in you, but in him.”
Jane added, “Perhaps he has been jaded by all the lovelies who have hunted him through the years. He may not find a simple country maiden appealing.”
Elizabeth grimaced. “Perhaps. That is a discomfiting thought. He has told me that he will be faithful to his vows, but how am I to keep the attentions of a jaded man engaged over a lifetime of marriage?”
She stood. “At least I need not fear he will find me too tempting. Between Mary’s gown and his jaded feelings from years of pursuit, I think myself quite safe with him.”
Mary said, “If Miss Bingley’s pursuit of him is any indication of what he has suffered, Lizzy, he may welcome this marriage as a respite. Women will stop hunting him like prey, for he is no longer available, and he is safe within the marriage, for he does not find you attractive.”
Elizabeth felt a stab of pain and disappointment. Nicholas had once found her attractive, even beautiful. He had confessed that he looked forward to the day they would marry, when hemight revel in her charms. It had been most improper of him to speak so, yet they had been childhood sweethearts and had shared every confidence as playfellows. Hearing him speak of this as a young adult had not been offensive. The memory of his gaze, warm with desire, lingered in her mind. She longed to be desirable to her husband and to be beloved.
Her reality was falling far short of her dream, but she was respectably married. Her sisters had been saved from scandal, and she was not yoked for life to a man who repelled her. It was well enough.
“You are right, Mary. I have nothing to fear. I will see you both in the morning.”
Elizabeth put on Mary’s wrap, then ran to her trunk and drew out the delicate shift they had laughed over earlier. She held it out.
