“No!” My voice is raspy under her hold, but she’s not squeezing hard enough to rob me of breath. “It was pure emotional manipulation, I swear! I want you to like it here. To call it home.”
“This will never be my home!” she hisses through clenched teeth. “Because you took away my chance at an afterlife. Stop scheming, stop trying to… Just stop!”
Her mouth is so close to mine, I feel its heat, and she’s breathing hard, her breasts rising and falling against my chest. I am as hard as a rock. But instead of kissing her like I want to, I purse my lips and blow a stream of air right into her mouth.
Jaga stumbles back, and I feel the surge of power within her through our bond. She clutches her chest, shaking her head, then screams, helpless and furious.
“You could be at home here just like I am,” I tell her when her scream dies down, replaced by hiccupping, angry sobs. “Not as one of the dead, but as a goddess. One more to herd the souls with Nyja and me.”
She spits on the ground at my feet, her face ugly with scorn. “I am not a goddess!”
“Yes, you are. Maybe you have no shrines in the mortal world, and maybe nobody prays to you yet, but you are one of us. The sooner you accept it, the easier it will be.”
“You’re mad,” she hisses with a disdainful glare, composing herself. “Where did you put them?”
“One level above,” I say instantly, pointing up with my chin. “I made her a beautiful home, Jaga. She wants to be here, as does the child. They have a pretty cottage with a garden, a dog, and two cats. She’s happy. Andsafe.”
“I’ll see for myself.”
She stomps away with a loud thudding of her heels, and I fist myself through my pants with a groan. What have I done to deserve this?
Well, many things. But apart from that?
After I deal with my discomfort, thinking of Jaga and her angry eyes, I go to Chors, who’s floating on his back in his cave. He is still strong since the full moon was a few days ago, and the perfect choice to act as my emissary.
“How is she?” he asks as soon as I enter.
I want to laugh and scoff at once. Jealousy, always jealousy, but also affection. Maybe it’s natural that we both care about the same woman. We’ve been the closest over centuries, me and him. Chors means to me even more than Nyja.
“Why don’t you see yourself?” I ask. “Though be warned, she likes playing with pus and entrails these days.”
He smiles wryly, raising his arm above his chest. The water glitters silver as it slides down his forearm, and he sighs.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m trying to give you two space. Everything I’ve done since you saved her was to help you win her back. But Father, I am disappointed. You made it sound like she was completely immortal before. Because youlovedher so much, you couldn’t handle her dying. And now I learn she can, in fact, die. From your hand.”
I huff with bitter amusement. “I am not that selfless.”
“I suppose not.” He hums thoughtfully. “You know, it cannot be love until you two are equals.”
“How do you know?” I ask, sitting in the sand with a sigh. “Have you ever been in love?”
“No. But I’d like to try.”
The world rocks around me like a boat, and I grab fistfuls of the discolored, silvery sand as I struggle to regain balance. But it’s only me that’s shaken, not the cave.
I haven’t even realized how enormously afraid I was of this—that he actuallylovesJaga.
Because I cannot be selfless for her, but I could for him, and the thought terrifies me. That he loves her and I might be capable of giving her up to make him happy.
“What?” Chors asks with a small smile when I don’t reply. “It surprises you?”
I clear my throat. “No, of course not. I knew you were like this. And… I wish you luck in your search for love. You’ll need it. It’s a horrible ordeal and the best thing in the world to love someone.”
“How would you know?” he asks with a husky laugh. “It’s not like you are truly in love with anyone. Not even yourself. More so the pity. Someone should love you, Father, at least one person in all the worlds.”
I growl in irritation, conjuring a flock of tiny fish in the water. I direct them with my magic until they gather under Chors and nibble on his buttocks and feet. He flails with a shocked gasp, submerging briefly, and I laugh.
When he emerges, looking wet and unusually annoyed, I get up.
