After grabbing my phone off the charger and purse from the table near the door, I cut the lights out and left. As soon as I got to the car, Raev was blasting “Where You At”by Jennifer Hudson and singing off beat. Oh, my baby sister was hurt and I hated that, but I told her a traveling serial gambler who played guitar in bars for tips wasn’t a good idea. Ol’ boy screamed “I just need a place to stay for a few weeks, then I’ll be back on the road”. That’s exactly what happened too. Dot, as she called him, used her for all he could, then took the first bus out of the city. They tried to keep in contact, but because he couldn’t keep his phone on, they Instagram DMed until she finally realized it wasn’t going anywhere. Her finally realizing it wasn’t going anywhere was him telling her that he loved her but he was a floater and would never come back here and be with just her. She cried for days afterwards, then watchedPretty Womanover and over before we got to this stage.
It was time to catch more fish, as I called it. I may have hated her hopeless romantic attributes, but I deeply respected them. At least she was willing to take chances on love after so many disappointments. Me on the other hand, I was closed off to love, avoiding it like the plague. That sort of thing happened when you fell in love, made a baby, and found out that the man you intended to spend the rest of your life with had already promised the rest of his life to another. My son’s father was not in his life because not only was he a sad excuse of a man, but he also preyed on naïve young women while going home to his wife and family portraying an upstanding man. He was none of the sort and it took falling victim to him to find out. Instead of coming home when I found out I was pregnant, I pushed through, carrying the brunt of my decisions on my own until I graduated with a three year old and returned to Millers Pointe. I did my D.V.M at the hospital before taking care of all my licensing and everything, all while caring for my son with no input or a single cent from his father. That was fine though because my family stepped up. My father acted as the male figure in Ethan’s life and my sister helped in ways I couldn’t imagine. For a while it was hard, but then it became normal and life just went on.
“Can I ask something and you won’t get mad at me?” Raev’s voice crept into my eardrum.
It was then I realized the music was no more and she was looking right at me. “Yeah, shoot.”
“How do you do it? Just shut off love.”
I looked at her, eyes traveling her curious expression. Then I shrugged. “Honestly, I didn’t just shut it off. I just don’t know how to give chances anymore. Between the thoughts of being deceived and the fear of abandonment, I’m not sure I even know how to love again if you want the truth.”
She nodded. “But you do, because even after everything you’ve carried over the years, you love Ethan, despite who fathered him.”
“Well, that’s different. Ethan is of me; that’s my baby. My love for him is unconditional. I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t think I have that kind of love in me for anybody that I don’t share blood with.”
“Well, I think you do. Problem is, you don’t give chances and I give too many chances. Lord, please help my sister and I find a happy medium.”
“Whoa, whoa. I don’t need to find a happy medium. I’m perfectly fine.” I waved my hands, laughing at her adding me to her equation.
“Um no…no you’re not. You need some. Like I’m not saying you need to fall in love and all that, but you need a little something. Sister, you spend all your free time from work with Ethan on your sofa. Shoot, I bet if you look at the couch your body indent is there.”
I waved her off. “There is nothing wrong with me finding comfort.”
“Nah you’re right, it isn’t, but it is when you find it in the corner of a sofa and not awaiting arms.”
“Have you ever thought that maybe those awaiting arms are the problem?” I asked while taking my braids down. I was going for the fresh braid-out look because I knew my hair was already damp and semi-wavy.
She pulled into the parking lot of Guuds before responding. “All the time, but then I realized you don’t get what Mama and Daddy had by not taking chances. I want that someday, even if I have to kiss a few frogs along the way.” When she finished the last of her statement, she looked over at me. “And I want that for you, even if you don’t know you want it for yourself, big sister.”
Once parked, she opened the door and got out of the car headed toward my side since I was technically closest to the entrance of the well-known hangout. As always, when I got out of the car I looked up at the structure, taking it in as if one day Duhani would change the cheesy stripper lights. Of course he wouldn’t, they were a staple. They screamed titty bar but there was absolutely no titty.
We entered through the double doors, some fool in a cowboy hat held the door for us. I thanked him, refusing to look back as I was now thinking about their famous hot wings and a Coke.
“Evening, Jonas,” my sister greeted, immediately finding the old-timer behind the bar. That was his normal space since he didn’t trust many behind it. Well, he trusted Versai, but it wasn’t too often Hani let his lady be the bartender at Guuds. It was well known and well laughed at by the lot of us.
“Evening, y’all. What can I get you?
“I don’t know, surprise me, Jonas.” Raev smiled in his direction as we scooted onto the stools at the bar.
“And you, Doc?” he asked, smiling in my direction.
“Hot wings and a Coke please.”
“Coming right up.” Jonas left me and my sister alone, me looking at her overly giddy ass as she was already moving her hips around in her seat.
“Can you please not sit here and mug the air? Shit is mighty dampening.”
I chuckled. “I’m not mugging, Raev.”
“The hell you aren’t. You always look like you don’t wanna be somewhere. It’s like you just don’t wanna be bothered.”
Dramatically, I pressed my hands against my chest before speaking. “Me! What gave you that idea.”
“Greene, please live in the mome—” Her sentence trailed off as something in the distance caught her attention.
I was about to turn around and see what she was looking at, but she grabbed my arm. “Nope, eyes here. He already saw me looking. I don’t need him to see you too.”
Confusion swept my features. “Who the hell is he?”
