He flipped me off. “Nah, Dai looks and acts just like her mother. I ain’t got a leg to fight on fucking with them.”
I laughed and we made more small talk before he stood up to leave. “Dinner is at seven. Come on over, unless you got plans.” He winked.
“What plans I’ma have, Hani? I’on know nobody here.”
“That you think. Don’t get in no trouble ’round these sticks. It’s easy to do just that.” He winked again before turning to go out of the door.
After Duhani left, I gave myself a tour of the place and I swear this place was massive, the type of shit you only saw on social media. Shit, it damn sure didn’t look like this when I was a youngin.
“At least tellme where you are, Hudson. You know we need to talk. You can’t just go missing like this, especially not now,” Ronny, my manager, said. I could tell she was stressed out, but her stress was the least of my worries.
“How do you think this will look? We haven’t even signed the contract yet.”
“If you think I care about how this looks, then you don’t know me at all after all these years.” I stared out the window at the land. This shit right here was peace.
“I do know you and I know you wouldn’t dare leave money on the table. You like making it too much.” That’s where she was wrong. I didn’t leave money on the table. Before I left, I’d given everything to Perry. Everything included not only my medical records but all of the correspondence I was able to get from one of the on-field doctors, where they had been instructed to ignore any diagnosis that would put the game in jeopardy. Perry was my lawyer and she was ready to do whatever I asked with the information she had been given. The only questions were what I wanted and what was I without the very game that made me.
“Hudson, do you hear me? What about the contracts and everything we had lined up.”
“At what cost? Y’all expected me to play when everybody around me knew I wasn’t one hundred. Shit, the whole organization saw me go down but didn’t give a damn as long as I could get back up and put that fucking helmet on. I almost fucking died.”
“Hudson. I know. We all know that. But you didn’t die. You led your team to victory and got the help you needed.”
I laughed dryly. “At my own fucking insistence.”
“Where are you, Hudson? I’ll come to you and we can talk this out. We’ll add new clauses and hand?—”
“I’m off the grid. I’ll probably be back after the holidays. By then I might feel like talking.”
“And how do you want me to spin that?” She sounded like she was about ready to pull her lashes out one by one.
“Shit, get with Marty. Y’all will spin that shit wonderfully. If not, then oh well. See you when I get back.” I hung up and dropped my phone onto the sofa next to me. My eyes landed back on the TV. On the screen was the game that made me who I was. The thing was, I didn’t know who that was. When I collapsed on that field, it was just me. When they told me I was cleared to finish the game I knew I wasn’t good to go. I still took my ass out on that field and won, only to end up in the hospital that night with a severe brain bleed. One seemingly missed by the team doctor who’d sent me back on that field. I almost died that day and nobody in my immediate circle gave a fuck enough to speak up. It took one doctor breaking down my condition for me to not walk my ass back on that field. After everything was said and done, I spent a lot of time watching the game and trying to figure out who I was without it. So much time that I realized everything in my life revolved around the game. With football there was no happy medium for me. It was all or nothing and that almost cost me my life.
A knock at the door had me on my feet. When I opened the door, I expected it to be my cousin, but to my surprise it was Versai, out of breath and rubbing her belly.
“Dinner is ready. He’s not going to come get you because he doesn’t want to smother you, but I will. Because even though you don’t know me from a can of paint, I have no problem smothering you. After all, we are family now, and I don’t much care for my own. Your father, Duhani, and now you are all I havebesides my cousin and my father from time to time. Now come eat.” Her words were aggressive, but she meant well.
I laughed. “Okay, family. Let’s get over there.”
The walk over to my cousin’s house was brief. When we walked in the door, the aroma of seared steak filled my nostrils.
“Thought I asked you not to go over there messing with him, baby?” Duhani looked up from the toddler sitting on the counter to Versai.
“Thought I told you I’d think about it?” Versai moved to his side and kissed the side of his face. “It worked though. Now you can do less brooding.”
He laughed, then looked toward me. “Drinks are in the fridge. We’re having steak burgers. Everything on it still good to you?”
“Yeah.” I nodded, moving to the fridge. Once I had a drink, I took a seat at the island, eyes locked on the toddler in her own world with a bowl of fruit near her father. Versai had left the room, leaving just us three. The feeling here was what I missed, that feeling of belonging.
“You good over here?” Duhani asked, eyes jumping between me and the burger he flipped.
“Yeah man, just thinking. It’s something about this place that just makes me think, you know.”
“Good or bad?”
“Good, I guess. Feels like home and I haven’t felt like I was home in a while. Between all the moving around as a youngin, and traveling during the season, I never quite felt like I was home. Everything was a means to an end.”
“Well, I get that, trust me I do. It’s okay to be lost sometimes, but this place right here will always be your home. And the thing about home is no matter how long you’ve been away, it’s always home. Lean into that. Shit, lean into family, and I promise you’ll find whatever you’re looking for.”
