“Bree.”
“What? I’m just saying. Don’t go in there looking like show you feel Elle. Hunny, you need to be looking like you ready to snatch his soul, again!”
I shook my head but couldn’t hold back a laugh.
“Call me before you go in,” she said. “And remember why you’re there… clarity for you and for Nikole.”
We said our goodbyes hung up, but my heartbeat faster the closer it got to the mixer. What if he was really here? What ifhe wasn’t. I was afraid of both and I knew I couldn’t sit her and let my mind take control. I showered, dressed in the deep green sweater dress that hugged my hips just right, added tights that had my ass sitting up just right and knee-high boots. I brushed out my curls out and added soft makeup. A version of myself I hadn’t seen in a long time stared back in the mirror… older, stronger, but with the same eyes that once saw something dangerous and irresistible in a stranger leaning over a bar.
The sky dimmed outside. Snow reflected the lights along the path. Holiday music drifted faintly from the direction of the lodge. My hands shook a little as I put on my coat.
“Get it together, Elle,” I whispered. “You know what you have to do.”
I tried to be calm, but my heartbeat didn’t get the memo. The mixer was already in motion when I stepped inside the ballroom. Soft jazz music was playing, people were dancing and, some chatting near decorated tables. They had a table over by the bar with finger foods and though I hadn’t ate all day, I was too nervous to even think about food. Everything felt loud and warm and overwhelming at once. I headed straight for the bar, the safest place in the room.
“What can I get you?” the bartender asked, wiping a glass.
“Red wine,” I said, deciding to keep the drinking light. Last time I was here, drinking heavy got me in the situation I’m in now.
She poured, slid the glass to me. “You here with a group or solo?”
“Solo. Just enjoying the solitude.”
She smiled. “That’s the best feeling.”
I took a sip, letting the wine settle my nerves for half a second. Suddenly, I felt the air shift. A pull… a familiar feeling low in my stomach that I couldn’t ignore.
I turned and the world stopped. He was standing near the entrance, and for a moment I forgot how to breathe. Caleb looked… unreal. Taller than I remembered, but still the finest man I’d ever laid eyes one. A black suit hugging his frame, black turtleneck beneath it and chains resting against his throat. His beard was lined perfectly, his fade, cut to a T. His hands rested in his pockets like the room annoyed him but couldn’t ignore him. He looked like sin wrapped in money and cold weather… exactly the kind of man a woman loses sense over.
My body remembered him instantly. Suddenly I could feel the weight from his mouth all over me, and the weight of him fucking me into the mattress. My heart thudded painfully against my ribs and my panties were ruined.
He scanned the room slowly, deliberate, until his eyes landed on mine. The way his gaze locked onto me, sharp, recognizing, unguarded for half a second, sent a shiver through me so strong I gripped the bar for balance.
I took a step forward and my chest lifted like it needed more air, but none came. I was doing this. I was going to talk to him and tell him the truth. A woman slid into his side, tall and slim in a silk dress, diamonds glittering at her ears. Her hand rested on his chest like it belonged there, and he didn’t move her hand. He looked at me over her head with an expression I couldn’t read. I looked down and saw her ring. His wife? His fiancée? Oh my God… he wasn’t thinking of me at all. He was married or about to me.
My entire body went hot and cold at the same time, so fast I thought I might hit the floor. My stomach flipped so violently that it felt like the ground was shifting underneath me. I couldn’t hear the music anymore or chatter around me. Just the thump of my own heartbeat drowning out the room. He said something to her and she leaned in, smiling soft, fingers brushing his turtleneck like she had done it before. Then she stepped closer,following him when he moved. A ring caught the light before I could look away. My chest tightened so fast I almost choked.I had to leave.
I set my wine down without even looking to see if it still sitting up and walked out with my heart pounding out of rhythm. Cold air hit me the second I stepped outside, but it didn’t do shit. The panic still burned through my veins, my legs moving fast, my heels crunching into the snow like they were trying to keep up with my breath. By the time I reached my cabin, my hands were shaking so bad I dropped the key twice. The third time it finally slid in, and I pushed the door open, stumbling in like I needed to escape a fire. Warmth wrapped around me, but I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs.
I leaned back against the door and whispered, “He moved on.” My voice cracked. “Of course he did. And here you go… still stuck.”
A laugh slipped out of me that was nothing close to humor. I covered my mouth because I didn’t trust the next sound that wanted to come out. I sat on the edge of the bed, gripping the sheets, trying to steady myself, but everything kept flashing through my mind: his face, his mouth, his body, her hand on him, that ring glinting like a slap.
My phone buzzed.
Bree: You alive?
Bree: Don’t tell me you fainted.
Bree: Girl answer this phone before I call them white folks at the front desk.
I hit FaceTime and waited for her face to pop up on the screen.
“Lord, what happened?” Bree said, bonnet crooked and face full of concern. “You look like somebody snatched your soul.”
“He was there,” I whispered. “At the mixer.”
Her eyes widened. “And?”
