“Lyrix . . .” I whispered his name and shook my head. “I can’t ask you to do that. Why would you even do that?”
I returned my attention to the bathtub and began scrubbing again. Everything was changing so fast, and I was losing my grip on reality. The wound of catching Drey laid up at my job with his side bitch was still too fresh. And the asshole didn’t even give me a chance to process that before he was banging on the front door to inflict more pain.
I had to admit I thought it would be a while before he showed his face here again. But no, he made it his priority to twist the knife he’d already stabbed in my chest until I was leaking blood everywhere. Why did he hate me so much? What had I ever done but try to be everything he wanted? My ears had been ringing since he opened his mouth to tell me I would have to move outwith my sons so he could start over. Fresh tears lined the bottom of my eyes. I sniffled when they began to slide down my cheek.
Out of nowhere, Poppa snatched the scrubbing pad from my hand, then tossed it aside. He gripped my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. I couldn’t even keep eye contact with him. I felt so fucking ashamed that I’d allowed my life to become this clusterfuck of a mess. He’d seen me crying over this man so many times. I knew he went home at night and called me a weak ho. Drey wasn’t even worth the effort I put into our relationship, but for some reason, I kept clinging to him. I’d told myself it was for my sons so many times that I almost believed it. But that wasn’t it, and with everything going on, I would have to face the truth soon.
I think that was what had me so worked up. I was angry at myself for allowing Drey to come into my life and take this bitch for a joy ride. He’d spent years depreciating my value by running up the miles and never doing the required maintenance. Now, I wasn’t good enough, even though I was there every time he needed me to be. I felt like such a fool, and that was why I allowed my chin to rest on my chest.
Instead of trying to force me to look at him, Poppa took a seat on the floor. A second later, he pulled me into his side. “Grai, you know I love you, and I will do anything for you, Solace, and Shiloh. I hate to see you torn up like this. I hate that Drey put you in this position. Now, imagine me telling you I love you and allowing this man to put you and your sons out on the street?” He chuckled dryly. “Shit don’t even make sense. We both know I don’t operate like that. Let me take care of you, Bubbles.”
The more words that spilled from between his chocolate lips, the harder I cried. I pulled my knees to my chest, then rested my forehead on them. “Why would you do that?” I asked once I finally calmed down.
“Because I’m your friend, and I have the money. Plus, I see how hard you work. Answer me this. Did you lose your job?”
I gulped guiltily. “How’d you know?”
He laughed. “Um, probably because I watched you use a master key to enter a guest’s room without permission. But on the real, no mother should have to take care of two boys while looking for work and a place to stay, all at the same time, on their own. Why would you put all that stress on your shoulders when I can help you? The only thing I’m asking you to do is to give yourself time to heal. And to keep doing what you’ve been doing, which is taking good care of our boys.”
I sucked in a sharp breath as the wordourrummaged around in my heart until it found a place to plant a seed of warmth. Lifting my head, I made the mistake of turning to face Poppa. The sharp set of his jaw told me he was dead serious. He’d always been a genuine person, and I would hate to seem like I was taking advantage of him.
“I can’t ask you to do that, Lyrix.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you didn’t ask me. That’s what you’re going to do unless, right here and right now, you can tell me another plan you have. If I feel like it’s suitable for y’all, then cool. I won’t trip. But, if it’s some bullshit, y’all are coming home with me.”
This man was always trying to boss someone around. I glared at him. “You know you’re not the boss of me, right?” I pushed him forcefully before I ended up laughing. In truth, Poppa always left my pussy wet when he laid down the law. I was probably being prideful, and he’d called me out on it. I didn’t have a backup plan, which was why I was in there stress-cleaning.
My older sister Toni had moved back in with our parents with her four children, so going back there wasn’t an option. Not to mention, my parents were still very strict. I had no desire torelive the traumas I experienced while living under their roof as a child. Other than that, I didn’t have anywhere else I could go unless I tried to find a women’s shelter. It was an option, but why put my children through that if I didn’t have to?
I swiped my eyes and sighed. “I’m not crying over him, you know,” I blurted out of nowhere.
I saw the way Poppa flinched every time he saw a tear slide down my cheek. There was curiosity swirling in his eyes, even if he would never ask. “It doesn’t matter, Bubbles.”
I was shaking my head before he could finish his sentence. “It does matter. My relationship with Drey was over a long time ago. I knew this, so I’m crying because I feel like I failed my sons. I should’ve never stayed with Drey for as long as I have. My boys deserve the best, and Drey has never even attempted to give them that. It’s taken him literally pushing me out for me to realize we couldn’t keep going on like this.”
Poppa was silent, likely allowing what I said to sink in. Finally, he said, “I understand.” I glanced at him when he placed a hand on mine. “It’s time, Grai. Not only do Loh and Ace deserve the best, but you do too. You’re never going to find it around here.” He swirled his finger in a circle.
I tucked my bottom lip then allowed my head to fall back. My eyes drifted closed, knowing he was right. Even though I was terrified to see what else was out there, I knew staying here wasn’t an option. I had to move on. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but for my babies, I was willing to do the hard things.
“Okay,” I whispered. Poppa tightened his grip on my hand. A surge of bravery raced through my veins, prompting me to lift my eyes to his.
I paused, surveying his handsome face. Of course, he kept steady eye contact while giving me a soft expression. I couldn’t understand how something so welcoming made me want to run far away until he used his free hand to trace my jawline. Anelectric shock jolted my senses until every detail about Lyrix slammed into me at once.
I wasn’t brave enough to ask him why he was looking at me like that. So, I was thankful when I heard the front door open and the sound of footsteps. By the time I turned my attention to the door, my boys were standing there with big smiles. They had no idea that everything had changed. I wanted to protect them from the truth, but life hurt at times. I couldn’t save them from all the heartache they would experience. I could do my best to ensure they knew they always had me.
“Wassup?” Poppa greeted them.
“What are you guys doing?” Solace questioned while eyeing us with unmasked suspicion.
I giggled. “Can I sit too?” Shiloh asked. I didn’t even get to give him a response before he squeezed between Poppa and me with a huge grin. I didn’t know what he thought this was, but he seemed content just being included.
“Mommy, I have so much to tell you about school.” I ruffled his curls then buried my nose in his soft tresses. His scent still had the ability to center me. I rested my palm on the top of his head and pulled him closer to me.
I didn’t even realize I was crying until Solace came to take up my other side. He wrapped his arms around me while looking up at me with sadness I was sure mirrored my own. “Are you okay, Mama?” he asked me. My oldest was always able to pick up on things that his brother couldn’t. While Shiloh thought this was a game Poppa and I were playing, Solace was able to tell there was more happening here.
I nodded. “I’m the mama. You don’t have to worry about me, baby.” It warmed my heart when he squeezed me tighter and lay his head on my chest. He was not convinced at all. I tucked my lip before turning to look at Poppa. He gave me a single nod, and I knew what he was saying. I couldn’t predict what came next,but I knew if I had these three, then I would be alright. We all would be.
Chapter 5
