I smirked because the boys were quick to agree. Leaning toward her, I whispered, “I can’t make any promises.” The look she gave me told me she would much rather I be a bad boy anyway.
I wanted nothing more than to invite her to meet me in my bedroom, but I gulped down the offer. I shoved ice cream in my mouth to distract myself because I couldn’t risk losing the friendship I had with Grai. It was my safe space and guaranteed me a place in her life. It was better for us both to keep things platonic, so after finishing my ice cream, I went back to working on the bench. Distance was the answer to the urge to enter her sacred space again.
Chapter 16
Grai
Lying across my bed, I allowed my eyes to stare at the ceiling until my vision blurred. I couldn’t get Lyrix off my mind. It was late at night, and the desire to creep down the hallway to his room was strong. I felt like I would need to chain myself to the bed to keep from letting my body’s desire win this war.
The ghost of his lips could be felt leaving a trail across my skin. I could feel his powerful strokes as he pushed in and out of me like he belonged there. I clinched my thighs together when my clit began to pulse, begging to be sucked and tugged by his warm mouth. His lips were so soft; they felt like heaven on my body. I wanted to feel him so badly, so I ripped the covers off my legs and did exactly what I said I wouldn’t.
I turned his knob gently and pushed the door open, only to find his bed abandoned. To be sure, I went to the bathroom, but he wasn’t in there either. As I shut his door behind me, I knew exactly where he was. I noticed he was spending all his time in his shed instead of in the house. His absence was like a bucket of cold water bringing me back down to earth.
I rushed back to my room and quickly closed the door. I pressed my back into the cool surface and sighed. I was all over the place. One minute I wanted to risk my friendship, then thenext, I vowed to never do that. The bond I had with Lyrix was the best thing going on for me right now. I couldn’t jeopardize that for fleeting pleasure. It was a blessing that he wasn’t in his room because successfully creeping in there for a piece of dick would only further blur the lines of what we were.
Even though I could feel his touch when he wasn’t around, I knew Poppa was the only man I could trust right now. I wasn’t in a strong enough position to find out what it meant when he looked at me when I was drawn to him, or when he kissed me, and the world turned into a kaleidoscope of colors I’d never encountered before. It would break me if a relationship between us didn’t work, and we lost him. I had to think about my sons too. They also had very special bonds with Poppa that I would not risk having what I wanted.
With that thought in mind, I knew I had to figure out what was next for me. I couldn’t mooch off Poppa forever, even though I was sure he would let me. I wanted to have my own money and be able to independently take care of my boys. Before I could do that, I had to make sure Poppa got his freedom back. He deserved that.
Walking to the closet, I slipped into a pair of jeans, then found a t-shirt in my drawer after I tossed my nightgown across the room. I put on a pair of slides and then snatched up my phone. I sent a quick text before sliding it into my pocket. I got a reply almost instantly, making me snatch it right back out.
Me: I need to talk to you.
Bitch Ass Baby Daddy: Pull up.
I took a deep breath,putting the car in park in front of my old home. If you asked me yesterday if I planned to come back here,I would’ve told you no. But I was doing this for Poppa. He was still on house arrest for beating Drey, and I needed him to drop the charges.
I unclicked my seatbelt, shut off the car, picked up the keys, and climbed out. It was quiet on the street. It wasn’t in the best part of the city, but a lot of working families lived in this neighborhood. There wasn’t ever much happening this way, which I used to always appreciate.
In quick strides, I marched up the driveway, then knocked on the door. I took a step back, trying to calm my racing heart. I held my breath when the door came open, and the man I thought I would spend forever with stood there, still looking like the beating happened yesterday. I whistled lowly because Poppa had done a number on him.
“Hey,” I spoke quietly.
“Wassup, Grai? You wanna come in?”
I shook my head and folded my arms over my chest. “Nah, can you come out here?” I didn’t feel safe in that house anymore. The last thing I wanted to do was step inside to remember all the heartbreak, loneliness, and hopelessness I felt while living between its walls.
I took a seat on the steps, not waiting for him to respond. I heard him sigh before closing the door and joining me. For a minute, neither of us spoke. There was so much I wanted to say that I needed time to process it all and figure out what was more important.
Turning to him, I said, “I need you to drop the charges on Poppa.”
His head jerked back. “Why the fuck would I do that, Grai? Do you see my face?”
I turned back to the street. It was harder to see the stars here than at Poppa’s. “Because you deserved it. Your face will heal faster than all the damage you’ve done to me and my sons.” Ifelt him tense beside me because he knew I was right. “You quite literally kicked us to the curb. You knew I would lose my job, and you didn’t even care about what would happen to us. You know who did?” I smiled sadly through the tears that came to my eyes. “Poppa did.”
He waved me off. “Of course, he had to save the day. He’s in love with you, Grai.”
Hearing him say that made my heart skip a beat. I swallowed the ball of cotton lodged in my throat. “No, he’s not,” I tried to deny.
Drey snorted. “Yes, the fuck he is. Why do you think I always got pissed off when that nigga came around? Everyone can see it but you two apparently.” He shook his head sadly, allowing his chin to hit his chest. “Is that where y’all are living?”
I nodded. There wasn’t any point in lying. “Yes, and the boys are happy. We’re doing well, but we won’t be if you get Poppa sent to prison.”
He ran a hand down his face and huffed out a breath. He slowly turned to look at me. “You know, I did love you, Grai?”
I didn’t want to think about that, because I knew it would make me cry. “Maybe, but never the way you loved Brandaisha. That was always who you were supposed to start a family with. I’m not even mad anymore. I just want to move forward with my boys, and you can do the same with her and the baby y’all are going to have.”
“So you don’t want me to be in my sons’ lives?”
