It broke my heart to hear his truth. I knew there was darkness to Kai, but I had no clue that dark road would lead us here.
“Because I didn’t have a stable caretaker, I didn’t learn to speak like most babies. I never cried either. I just watched while trying to make sense of what was happening around me. Sometimes, I vaguely remember my mother’s face fading in and out of my vision. She’d be so doped up half the time… I remember always looking down at her. My dad found me when I was four years old. He said he’d seen my mother at the grocery store. They dated back in high school, and he said it broke his heart to see her like that. For whatever reason, he happened to follow her. She led him right to me, and he took me home to Mama Que. I developed a stutter because my mind was trying to catch up for all the years of silence, but it was moving faster than my mouth was able to.”
Kai fell silent, and I allowed him to. What he’d just shared with me was heavy. I couldn’t imagine anyone abandoning the handsome man behind me. Though it broke my heart to hear, I was happy to finally understand my husband. Silence was his trauma response, and I hated that because Kai’s voice could cause rain in a drought.
Tears spilled onto my cheeks. Kai kissed my cheek and then pulled me tighter to him. I finally asked the question I’d always wanted to know. “Is that why y’all speak sign language sometimes?”
Kai nodded. “Yeah, when I feel overwhelmed, I prefer to sign than to speak. My parents were willing to do whatever to help me, so they made the entire family learn sign language to help us be able to communicate when I got in my slumps where I wouldn’t speak for weeks.”
I smiled, leaning my head back on his shoulder. “That makes me love them even more. I only met them once, but they seem like the kind of people who would go to those lengths for you. I’m so happy they did. You deserve it.”
He nuzzled his nose in my neck and inhaled. “They already love you, too, and have been asking for me to bring you over there.”
Turning slightly toward Kai, I palmed his cheek while staring into his eyes. Gone was the intensity that kept me out for so long. Tonight, his eyes were soft and called me deeper into the abyss. “I know you think there’s something wrong with you because you don’t speak as well as others, but you’re still perfect... so fucking perfect that whenever I look at you, I thank God.”
I could see that he was troubled and didn’t believe what I’d said. He lifted a hand to my cheek, too. “But you deserve someone who can communicate with you...”
I smiled. “I’m going to learn sign language too. When I say I want to be in your world, Sekai, I actually mean it because I loveeverything about you. You’ve still managed to capture my heart, not because of all the words you’ve said but because of all the things you’ve done to protect me, to provide for me, to ensure I feel seen and valued, to take care of me when I’m too weak to get out of bed, and to comfort me when the grief is too heavy to carry alone. Why is it that you get to show up for me in the fullest capacity possible, and I can only give you crumbs? You deserve more than that, Sekai. You deserve love in its fullness, and it’s time you allowed me to give you that.”
I could see tears welling in the corners of Kai’s eyes. He dropped his head as his lids floated closed. His breathing was shallow. “You would do that for me, Nuri Symone? Learning sign language?”
“Happily and without a doubt about it. I know we married each other for my protection, but I love you, Sekai. You don’t have to say it back, but the way I feel about you transcends time and space. It’s primal... something I can’t control or understand, but I know I want it. For life...” I whispered the last part.
One minute, Kai was staring at me with a beaming expression, and the next, he was pressing his lips into mine. The picnic and everything else were forgotten as we began attacking each other. Clothes were flying everywhere until we were naked. The cool breeze from the nighttime air caused me to shiver.
Kai got ready to enter me until I shook my head. “Unh uh, you know what I want.”
He smirked before lowering his mouth to my pussy instead. My toes curled as he sucked on my clit like a baby bottle pop. When he slid his tongue in, I bounced on it like it was his dick. I thought I couldn’t take any more when Kai shoved his dick inside of me, causing flames to sprout everywhere. My lips parted, trying to express how good I felt, but nothing came out. Kai used that opportunity to shove his tongue down my throat.
“See how fucking good you taste, baby. I love you too, Nuri Symone St. James,” he blurted out of nowhere. “I’ve loved you since I saw you running and screaming, afraid in the dark. I might not have known that’s what I was feeling then, but I know now.”
The sun warmedmy skin as I burst through the front door, ready for my trip to Bankers Circle. Upscale Princess dropped a newRugratsinspired purse collection that I was drooling over. Yesterday, Marissa and Clyde welcomed their beautiful baby girl, Umi, to the world. After assisting with another successful birth, I wanted to celebrate myself. Personally, I felt like you could never go wrong with a bit of retail therapy.
I was in the car and easing down the driveway within minutes. Bones was at the gate when I got there. I rolled down the window and waved.
“Hey, B!”
“Wassup, First Lady. You heading out?”
I nodded. “Yep. Going to do some shopping.” I turned to the passenger seat and lifted the aluminum foil-wrapped plate I’d sat there. I handed it to Bones through the window. “I made some more of those shrimp egg rolls you liked.”
The biggest smile appeared on his face. “Ah, shit, you just made my day.” His hand rubbed big circles on his stomach in anticipation. He paused. “You got that sweet chili sauce in there, too?”
“Of course.” I giggled while easing my foot off the brake. “Enjoy.”
I pulled away from the estate, headed toward my destination. It was a cloudless and sunny day, so I dropped the top on my car. The wind whipping past my face felt amazing. And for a little while, nothing mattered outside of this moment where everything in my life was perfect. I allowed myself to smile, dance, and enjoy the moment because I understood they could be fleeting.
Since it was only midday, traffic was light. I made it to the mall in twenty minutes. After finding a parking spot, I hopped out and waltzed inside. I didn’t make any pit stops because I was on a mission. UP bags were known to sell out quickly. If I wanted to snag one, then I didn’t have a minute to spare.
When I walked into Saks, my favorite employee, Tyler, was working today. As soon as she saw me, she rushed over. Before I could even open my mouth, she said, “I figured I might be seeing you, so I put some things to the side that I felt like you would love.”
I wrapped her in a hug. “You always know how to spoil a girl.”
She winked before heading toward the back while I went to take a seat. I ended up on social media, scrolling aimlessly while I waited. I paused when I came across a picture of Kai in the studio. His head was down with headphones on. There was a blunt in one hand and a pen in the other. All his attention was onthat sunset notebook I’d seen at home. I wished like hell I were in that room to see what he was working on.
The longer I stared at his picture, the tighter my core twisted as I remembered all the things he could do to my body. Kai took the time to study and watch my reactions to things. Then, once he figured out what I liked, he didn’t stop until I was shaking. The orgasmic endings he brought me to were compared to nothing I had experienced in the past. I began to fan myself just sitting there thinking about it.
Tyler returned carrying multiple boxes and bags. She organized everything before we began going through her picks. I had to say she always earned her commission with me because when she said she knew what I liked, she was spot on. By the time we went through it all, I’d decided to purchase everything.
