Page 13 of The Cancer I Chose


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“He’s well-trained, baby girl. Don’t stress. He gon’ tap that trigger before he lets a nigga touch you. You’re safe.”

It was important for me to affirm her safety. Nuri hadn’t been raised around guns or violence. I think the fight with my brothers scared her off from the big house. If shit got real, I needed her to know these men were here to keep her protected, never to cause her harm. Her eyes floated from his gun to my eyes. Something unexplainable passed between us. I gave her a subtle nod to trust me as I placed my hand over my heart. She nodded slowly before smiling at Bones with her kind eyes. I couldn’t look away from her.

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Nuri.”

“Nice to meet you, ma’am. I’m Bones. Only a beautiful woman like yourself could tie this maniac down,” he joked.

I didn’t like him looking at her like that, calling her beautiful and shit, so I rolled the window up without another word. Nuri snorted in the passenger seat, cracking up.

“That was kinda rude.”

I shrugged. “Oh, well. He was looking too hard.”

She shook her head, chubby cheeks about to knock her eyes off her face. “Anyway, are you ready?”

Instead of replying, I eased off the brake and crept to the gates that slowly began to open. I was impressed by the St. James emblem of a flame wrapped in olive branches that was etched into the iron. The land stretched wide for miles on both sides of the gravel driveway lined with thriving red crepe myrtle trees. As I drove, Nuri told me the estate was almost a hundred acres. She said there were pecan trees and wild lavender patches everywhere whenever I was ready to explore.

My attention focused on the huge manor that came to life before us. It was a colonial revival home with ivory-painted brick. The large windows had green weathered shutters. Large grand pillars lined the walkway, creating an elegant entrance. I glanced over at Nuri Symone in her beige milkmaid dress with a huge afro and understood that she belonged here. She was this land.

I put the car in park and paused to take it all in before I shut off the engine. Nuri patiently waited until I was ready to climb out. Like she knew this place would take time to digest. Eventually, I stepped out then went to open her door for her. The large wraparound porch had rocking chairs, potted flowers that hung in rivulets, and an old swing that swayed on the gentle breeze. I was almost sure I heard laughter on that same breeze that had me looking around.

Something about this soil grounded me. This was what it looked like for people like me to build something and keep it. I couldn’t wait to see what history lay inside the house with windows that looked like they’d seen everything.

I held a hand out for Nuri, which she accepted before we walked up the steps toward the large oak door. There was a stained-glass window with the St. James emblem in the center of the door, kinda like the sign we had at the big house, but more refined and intentional.

When Nuri unlocked the door, we walked into the grand foyer. It had marble floors, elegant family portraits along the wall, and a chandelier with hand-cut glass crystals. To the left was a curved staircase that led to the second floor. To the right was a traditional parlor room. It was equipped with velvet sofas, an ornate fireplace, and tall windows draped in gold drapes that swooped.

“In my family, this is where the women hosted tea parties, births, or meetings with important officials.”

“Word?”

She nodded proudly. “I actually still use this room for client births who are open to it.”

“Client births?” I asked for clarification.

“I’m a midwife and doula.”

A profession that matched her softness. I forgot how much we didn’t know about each other. In our rush to secure her safety, we’d bypassed a lot of vital details about one another’s lives, like how she didn’t find out I was a musician until the night of our wedding. There was something so calming about sitting beside her as we listened to me pour my heart out on instrumentals that made me keep thinking about that night. The one that changed everything.

“That’s dope.”

Nuri waved for me to follow her so she could finish giving me a tour. We went back to the foyer and then followed the hall. We passed a dining room with a long mahogany table that could seat twelve people. I poked my head into the room, seeing a cabinet in the corner with china that looked delicate. There were also fancy candle sconces on the walls in there. The next room we entered was a massive living room. It was more modern in style than the rest of the house, and there wasn’t much to see. We moved on to the kitchen next. I could tell it was newly renovated, yet somehow it kept its soul. There were cast-iron pots swayingabove a wide butcher block. In the corner was a brick oven that looked like it was created for homemade pizzas. The sink had two sides and a window that had a view of the thriving garden in the backyard.

After I finished checking out the kitchen, she took me to the library, which was filled with books from the floor to the ceiling of the second story. There was even one of those cool rolling ladders I’d only ever seen in movies. I didn’t read much, but I wouldn’t mind chilling in there just for the aesthetic.

We took a quick tour upstairs, where she showed me where her bedroom was. I was allowed to pick any of the guest rooms to claim as mine. She wouldn’t walk to the end of the hall where she said the primary suite was. I placed a comforting hand on Nuri’s shoulder, letting her know we didn’t have to go that way. Because her eyes were always so expressive, I knew she was two steps away from falling apart, and I couldn’t have that. Instead, she took me into the backyard to explore the garden, stables, and Lake Symone at the back of the property. It took us ten minutes to walk back there, and each step felt like I was shedding a layer of weight. By the time we made it to the still, glasslike body of water, all I wanted to do was sit down and relax. I could tell this would be a place I came to write.

“This estate is... Wow. I can’t believe your brother would try to ruin something so beautiful and sacred.”

We sat on top of a huge boulder beside the lake with a smooth surface. Nuri tucked her legs beside her and looked out over the lake.

“Yeah, I can’t believe it either. Every time I walk around this land, I feel the blood, sweat, and tears of my ancestors fall on my shoulders. They fought for this slice of heaven, and he’s willing to do everything in his power to ruin it. I want to be able to pass this estate on to my children and their children’s children.”She turned to look at me and grabbed my hand. “Thank you for helping me make sure that’s possible.”

The St. James estate was more than just land. It was a declaration of freedom and a reminder of what had been stolen from so many families like mine over the years. It felt good to know someone not only secured this but sustained it. A beacon of hope in the same way that the big house was for Prosper Ave.

“Thank you for trusting me to help you, Nuri.” Walking the grounds with her today awakened something primal within me. I was willing to sacrifice my entire soul before I let anyone take this away from Nuri.

“You’re welcome, Kai. Come on, let’s get you all moved in and comfortable.”