“Unfortunately.”
Rafe shrugged. What was he supposed to say in this moment?I’ll see ya?Nope, he wouldn’t.See you around?Not that either.Have a great Christmas and New Year’s?Who gave a fuck about those holidays right now when Rafe’s heart was gettingsquashed?
The best goodbye was not saying goodbye atall.
“Why don’t you come with me to the airport? We can at least have a little bit more time in the van together,” Rafesaid.
“Allright.”
Rafe thought he’d be more into theidea.
“I’m going to get my stuff together and brush my teeth. I’ll meet you in the hallway in a fewminutes.”
Eamonn gave him a thumbsup.
He raced back to his room and did a thorough, final search of his dorm room. He left no stone unturned in his quest to find anything he forgot to pack. Under his desk, by the power outlet, was a Stonehenge brochure he’d gotten on their excursion. He rubbed it between his fingers and stored it in hisbackpack.
Rafe saw the van drive up outside his dorm. He waved to the driver and gave the “one minute” signal. He recognized him as Joseph from the original drive to Stroude. That seemed like five million years ago. Five million Rafesago.
“Eamonn, you ready?” he whispered. Rafe tapped lightly at his door so as not to wake his flatmates. “Eamonn? Don’t tell me you fellasleep.”
He was not asleep. Nor was he dressed or wearingshoes.
“The van’shere.”
“I’m…I don’t think I’m going to go with you.” Eamonn’s eyes were all bloodshot, his skin paler than usual. “Ican’t.”
“Oh.”
“We should just say goodbyehere.”
Rafe went in for a kiss, but Eamonn gave him a tight huginstead.
“Get homesafe.”
“We’ll definitely keep in touch. Email. Skype for sure. I want to hear that British accentagain.”
Eamonn gave what could barely be considered anod.
“Maybe this doesn’t have to end. We live in a global village. We can try to do long distance. Lots of people do it. And with technology, it’s so easy. I can come back for the summer, or you can come to America after you graduate. You could telecommute for your uncle’s company.” Rafe grasped at any rope he could find. He couldn’t let this be the end. “Tonight was so great. We can make thiswork.”
He thought his suggestions would be romantic, but said aloud, without Eamonn nodding his head in agreement, they sounded chock full ofdesperation.
Eamonn shook his head no, which might as well been one of his fists to Rafe’s face. “We both know that’s not going to happen,” he croakedout.
Rafe’s phone rang. “Hello?”
“Are you coming down?” Joseph asked. “I have to pick up other kids and get you to Heathrow ontime.”
“I’ll be right down.” Rafe hungup.
This wasit.
“Okay, then.” Rafe gave Eamonn one final hug, and Eamonn pulled him close for a second beforereleasing.
Rafe wheeled his luggage to the door and stopped. “Eamonn.” He figured out his goodbye. “You changed my life, and I loveyou.”
Eamonn’s hand gripped his doorknob. He was trying so hard to be stoic that his face might break. “Cheers,mate.”
