“What’s the story?” Louisa asked. She was practically giddy forit.
Nathan shot Eamonn one of his classic looks that let him know trouble was around the corner. Eamonn remembered them well from times when Nathan got upset that things weren’t going his way, and he was going to enjoythis.
“I can get the next round,” Eamonnsaid.
“Oh, what is it, E? You don’t want people to know that we shagged in the men’s room last year? It was quite steamy.” Nathan turned to Rafe, in a finishing fuck you. “We actually broke one of the stallwalls.”
Eamonn shot out of his chair, and it fell to the ground. He charged to the bar for another drink. Nobody was ready for another round, but he was. He would drink all of their rounds. He wished he hadn’t left Rafe there. Who knew what other rubbish Nathan was spewing? This had been their relationship, he realized. Nathan pushing his buttons. Nathan hogging the spotlight. Nathan savaging any guy who dared show Eamonn any attention. It led to some fucking wild angry sex, but that couldn’t compare to the sex he and Rafe had. It was wild, but also had a type of closeness that he couldn’t remember having withNathan.
The bartender poured him another Snakebite, and he drank it right on the spot. He wasn’t prepared for this. Leave it to Nathan to just fucking show up without warning. He lived for the drama. Maybe he cheated just to have an interesting break-up story. Eamonn glanced back at the table, and Heath’s head stuck out above the crowd. Heath gave his mate a supportive smile, and he knew Rafe wasn’t alone. He wanted to go back, but he couldn’t face Nathan again just yet. He couldn’t face all those memories comingback.
Eamonn braved the chilly night to sit on the Apothecary’s outside deck. He had a picnic table to himself, but not forlong.
Nathan sat on the table, moving Eamonn’s drink over. “Drinking alone now,E?”
“What are you doing here,Nathan?”
“I wanted to check up on you. You just ranoff.”
“That’s not what I mean.” Their eyes met in a moment where bullshit slipped away. “What are you doinghere?”
“I told you. The shoot ended early. I wanted to come back toschool.”
“And you think we can all just pick up where we left off? Like what you did never happened?” Eamonn got up and stood by the fence overlooking a small thicket oftrees.
“I’m sorry, Eamonn. I really am. I thought about transferring, because I hated what I did. But I wanted to come back to make things right.” Nathan put his hand on Eamonn’s shoulder. He flinchedback.
“I can’t just forget.” Eamonn still remembered the smell in the air as if he could sense danger when he entered the airport terminal. Nathan’s callous shrug from that night was tattooed on his brain. Nathan broke his heart, but he wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowingthat.
“We were broken up. What you saw at the airport technically wasn’tcheating.”
“We hadjustbroken up. Did you meet that wanker in the bloody securityline?”
“I wasn’t expecting to see you at my airportterminal.”
“I went there because I loved you! I loved you, and you said youappreciatedthat.” Eamonn caught hisbreath.
“I’m not asking you to forget. Or even to forgive, not just yet.” Nathan slumped against the fence. “I’m not proud of myself. You may hate me, but I loathemyself.”
Eamonn studied Nathan’s face. Sometimes, it was so hard to tell what he was thinking, what was real and what was a story. Not like Rafe. Eamonn worried about what he was thinking rightnow.
“Why did you doit?”
Nathan stared at the ground for an extended moment. For a second, he thought he saw something change in Nathan, a piece of armor fall away. When they were together, Eamonn would get the feeling that Nathan was forever putting on a performance. He would live for those glimpsesbackstage.
“Because I’m a fecking idiot.” Nathan gave him a half-smile.
“I think you should go back to your newhall.”
“E, you may not be happy to see me, but our friends are. I’m not going to quarantine myself away fromthem.”
If the tables were reversed, he knew Nathan would make Heath and Louisa stop talking tohim.
“I am back, and we’re going to be seeing more of each other. I’d like us to try and rebuild what we had.” Nathan stepped closer and ran his fingers down Eamonn’s arm. “We have history, E. You can’t just throw that away to have fun with some Americantwat.”
Eamonn wacked his hand away. “You know all about throwing thingsaway.”
Nathan studied his face, in that way Nathan loved to do. The psychoanalyst. Eamonn hated it. “Oh, E. You were never good at casual sex. That’s not you. Be careful with him. Your little cub scout isn’t worth getting your heart broken over. They all leave.” Nathan snapped his fingers. “Just likethat.”
“Fuck off, Nathan.” Eamonn charged back into the bar, but he couldn’t face Heath and Louisa. And he really couldn’t face Rafe. Nathan had gotten under his skin like the worst kind ofrash.
