What this actually happening?It might’ve been the first time in recorded history that a guy came up and started flirting with Rafe. He was not theinitiator.
Correction: the first time on Americansoil.
Perhaps he had this post-European aura to him. It was a major milestone for Rafe, but he had no interest incelebrating.
“What year are you?” Alvin asked. Poor, sweet Alvin, who was definitely Rafe’s type, but did not stand achance.
“Sophomore.” Rafe pointed athim.
“Junior. What are youstudying?”
“Geology.”
“Political science.” Alvin leaned forward and curved his lips into a flirty smile, a smile Rafe had given to plenty of guys in the past. “You have really niceeyes.”
“Thanks.” He wanted to give Alvin something. A reference for future dates. A participationtrophy.
Alvin seemed to get whatever anti-vibes Rafe was puttingout.
“You’re not into this, are you?” He sounded firm, which Rafe knew was masking a feeling much moretender.
“I’m sorry.You’re—”
Alvin stopped him. “Don’t worry aboutit.”
“Wait,” Rafe said as walked away. He caught up to him in the hallway leading to the bathroom. “It’s not you. Really. It’s isn’t. I’m getting oversomeone.”
“It’s fine.” Alvin continuedwalking.
Rafe jumped in front of him, making Alvin lurch back and spill some beer on thefloor.
“Look, I’ve been in your shoes before. Many, many times before. I hated it. But there is someone out there for you. I promise you, there is. Don’t lose hope. Don’t try to shut down that part of yourself like I did, because it doesn’t work. And you don’twantit to work.” Rafe searched Alvin’s face for a trace of proof that he got through. He wanted to impart this wisdom sobadly.
He got an eyerollinstead.
“Jesus, I was just hoping we could make out at midnight, maybe give each other hand jobs in the bathroom. Chill out, dude.” Alvin stormed off, but stopped at the end of the hallway. “Would you still be up for making out atmidnight?”
“No.”
Alvin raised his eyebrows in a question and mimed jerkingoff.
Rafe gave him the finger and motioned for him to runalong.
* * *
The party rolled on.Rafe only had the one beer. Not just because it was gross. He wasn’t in the mood to drink and be merry. He would’ve been a depressive drunk, and nobody needed to ring in the new year with someone likethat.
As it got closer to midnight, more people paired off. They all revealed themselves to be as desperate as Alvin. Rafe used to be the same way, spending the latter half of parties searching for someone to make the whole night a success. But he was in no mood to kiss anyone, not when his heart was stillmending.
Coop found them a spot on the carpet in front of the TV at eleven-thirty. Coop FaceTimed with Matty. They planned to do a long distancekiss.
Rafe noted all the couples and soon-to-be couples that surrounded them. Coop seemed to read his mind. He rubbed Rafe’sshoulder.
“It’s going to be a new year in a few minutes. A freshstart.”
Rafe turned to his friend. “What if I don’t want a freshstart?”
It was a question that didn’t come with an easy answer, or any answer for thatmatter.
