“I’m glad I’m not the only one with secrets.” Cliff wasn’t ready to think about coming out to his parents. That would take more time. But he couldn’t believe he was talking with his brother who knew he was gay. It was marvelous.
“I know you’ve been doing art lessons with him, but have you thought about talking to Brennan about this stuff? He came out not too long ago. He’d be a good person to chat with.”
“Yeah.” Waves of sadness crashed inside him. “I will.”
Nope, he told himself.Not gonna do this. No more lying.
“Actually, I have been chatting with Brennan about this. Among other things…”
It took a few moments for Alex to get what those other things were. His casual nod turned into an eye-bulged double take.
“You and Brennan?” Judging by the flash of expressions flitting across his face, he was quickly putting the pieces together. “I thought you two seemed weird when I came to his loft.”
When you almost caught him on top of me?
“Are you okay?” Cliff asked with a cringe.
“Yeah. It’s a lot to take in, but I’m happy for you two.”
“There’s not much to be happy about.” Cliff managed a weak smile.
“Wanna talk about it?” Alex nodded at the couch.
Cliff considered the offer. He’d never had a brotherly heart-to-heart. There was a first for everything. He couldn’t wait.
“Sure.”
30
BRENNAN
Brennan painted. And painted. And painted.
Was painter’s elbow a thing like tennis elbow? He shucked off any discomfort that came from standing at his easel or hunching over his sketchpad for hours on end. He had a drive to create, to exorcise the pain that had built up since his fight with Cliff.
For most of the past week, he didn’t leave his loft, except for more supplies. His heart had a super sad story to tell, and it gushed onto the canvas.
Did he feel better after letting it out? He wasn’t sure. This level of heartbreak was not something he experienced with Paul. Cliff had reached inside him, flipping on switches he didn’t know he had. The only reason he felt these lows was because Cliff had brought him to such great heights. Maybe relationships didn’t suck if they were the right ones.
Instead of wild bursts of bold color, Brennan went for impressionism like Monet. His painting consisted of thousands of dots of muted grays, blacks, and whites that coalesced together into a picture of two blurred men drifting apart. He bought a basketball at a used sporting goods store and cut off tiny pieces that he glued to the canvas, along with pieces of the red-and-blue-striped tie. The tiny pieces swirled around the two men, a storm of muted color. Yes, it was a bit maudlin and a bit on-the-nose for his current state, but he followed his gut.
He brought it to the gallery the day of the Quarterly Showcase. Professor Adamson almost dropped her cigarette when he opened his portfolio case to show her outside.
“I’d like to hang this piece at the Quarterly Showcase tonight. I call itOut of Bounds.” He stared at it with a mix of pride and sadness for what it represented.
“We already made our selection.” She stubbed out the butt. “The exhibition is set up.”
“You can make a switch. Take the other one down, put this one up.”
“That’s not how it works. Your original piece was selected by the judging committee. We can’t swap it out.” She glanced at the new painting, then back at him. “Why would you want to do that? Your original piece is great.”
Brennan gulped hard. “And I think this one is better. You only get one shot to make a first impression, and for all the people who will see my work for the first time, I want them to see this piece.” It was how he felt, full of grays. He had pushed himself to try new techniques and take bold leaps. Cliff had dragged him outside his comfort zone. “I don’t want to play it safe anymore.”
He handed over the portfolio case to Professor Adamson. “I want you to show it to the rest of the judging committee. If you think my current piece that’s hanging currently is better, then we’ll keep it. But if you truly thinkOut of Boundsis the superior piece like I do, then I ask that you hang it tonight.”
“You’re kind of a little shit,” Professor Adamson said with a playful smile.
* * *
