“I feel like Rosie ripped out my heart, then Ben took a dump in the chest cavity.”
“That was...poetic.”
Alex’s skin was puffy, his eyes tired. He was dealing with jetlag and heartbreak at the same time.
“Love sucks. The person you love can change like that.” Alex snapped his fingers, but they made no sound. He didn’t bother trying again. “You think you know somebody, but you really don’t. Not at all.”
The words landed with Brennan in a way he didn’t expect. He worried that the bond that held him and Cliff together was more like a piece of string, prone to fray at any moment. What if everything he felt for Cliff was one-sided?
“Forget about Rosie. Think about all the fun you had in Amsterdam.”
“I was. I was doing really well, too. But as soon as I got back to campus last night, all these memories came back. Browerton was our world. I don’t know if I can stay here and face our mutual friends.”
Brennan had to make sure he was hearing him correctly. “Are you thinking about transferring?”
“You did it to get away from Paul.”
“That was different.” Brennan’s life choices should be a role model for no one. “You’re not serious.”
Alex shrugged, like maybe he was.
“Dude.”
Alex was supposed to be the cool, confident one in this friendship. He was teflon, nothing got to him. He had lived a charmed life in Brennan’s eyes; Brennan realized this was the first time Alex had faced real rejection, the first time when life did not bend to his will. He was not prepared for the fallout of unmet expectations.
“You can’t leave. You got dumped. It sucks. But life will go on, and it will go on at Browerton.”
Alex had been the strong one in their friendship, but Brennan saw it was his turn to step up. Perhaps his litany of relationship disappointments had made him stronger than he realized. He wanted to be leaned on.
“Listen.” He took back the margarita pitcher from Alex. “You’re going to come out of this stronger, better. Today, you feel awful. Tomorrow, you’ll still feel awful, but maybe not as awful. Each day will get a little less shitty until you reach a point when you can’t remember this feeling. There is a happy ending waiting for you. You are going to find an amazing girl and go onto great things, and one day you’ll thank Ben for freeing you of Rosie. I promise.”
“I’m not thanking Ben.”
“That was a metaphorical thank you. The guy seems like a butthead.”
Brennan searched Alex’s eyes and found a flicker of light in the darkness.
“Thank you,” Alex said quietly.
“That’s what friends are for.”
“I’m really glad you’re here.” Alex’s voice was thick with emotion. It brought a pang of guilt to Brennan.
How would he feel if he learned what he was doing with Cliff? Did friends keep secrets from each other? Brennan was going on two months keeping mum on his relationship with Cliff, and the more Cliff filled his heart, the harder it became not to share what he was feeling with his friend.
He wanted to be with Cliff, but he didn’t want to lose Alex. He didn’t know how long he could keep this part of his life hidden when Alex had been so open and vulnerable with him. True friendship wasn’t a one-way mirror.
“Have you heard from Cliff?” Alex asked, making him wonder if he could read minds.
Brennan shook his head no, playing it cool.
“That game was crazy. It’s all my dad wants to talk about. I called to let them know I landed back in the states, and he spent the call giving me a play-by-play. I told him I could watch it online.” Alex rolled his eyes. After spending a game next to Mr. Warner, Brennan saw and felt how into basketball he was, how huge a fan he was of Cliff. That must’ve been hard on the son who didn’t play. “To be a freshman suddenly called up to lead the team. It’s like getting thrown into the eye of a tornado. Or maybe not because the eye is calm.”
“It’s not calm. That’s a myth.”
“You take one class on natural disasters, and suddenly you’re Al Roker?” Alex took a drink of his margarita.
“It sounds like a lot.”
