Tilly got up, went to Nathan, and began eating what just came out of her like she was a sheep zombie.
“What the hell is she doing?” Nathan asked.
“She’s eating her placenta. It’s instinct. She does that to remove any extra evidence of her birth so that predators don’t find her lambs. She doesn’t think it’s gross. Right now, all she’s thinking about is keeping her babies safe.”
Nathan and Liam gave her space. Her lambs worked on walking. They stumbled around the barn, and Tilly watched them with a trained eye, like she was a helicopter parent with her kids at the playground.
She lay back down, and the lambs nuzzled up to her for their first feeding. Lambs didn’t smile, but she seemed at absolute peace with her children. Nathan had trouble breathing. His lungs were clogged with some type of emotion he couldn’t decipher, but it felt like jealousy. And not the fun kind. The sad type of envy when you know someone has something you never will have.
“This is so important right now,” Liam said. “This is when mother and lambs bond.”
“Excuse me. I need…fresh air.” Nathan left the barn. It had begun to rain, but he didn’t care about getting wet. Raindrops thwacked against his clothes, quickly soaking through his shirt. Water cascaded over his hair strands and onto his face. They hid the tears that sprung from his eyes. He thought of Tilly feeding her lambs, Tilly nuzzling them to sleep, Tilly protecting them from potential threats, Tilly licking dirt off their wool—those precious, intimate moments that mothers had with their children, the ones that made people feel safe even as adults. Tilly and her lambs, and every ewe in this hoof house, would have a bond Nathan never had. There was no nuzzling, no protective instinct for him. His mother dumped him as soon as he was born. How could a person ever recover from not having that bonding time? It left him with a missing piece that he would never replace. He was damaged goods, permanently.
Nathan gasped for air, the sobs coming fast and hot from his throat, tears spilling down his cheeks. He cried for every moment he never got to have. He cried because he only heard Mariel’s voice through a screen, because he never knew what she smelled like, because he never knew how she hugged. He was a soaking wet shell of a person.
Then, the warmth came. Strong arms wrapping tight around his chest, pulling him close, nuzzling his neck. But it wasn’t his mother and it wasn’t a dream. It was Liam, holding him against his body, sealing him off from the cold rain, rocking him back and forth, pressing his lips to Nathan’s head.
Nathan turned around and tilted his head up. Those milky blue eyes were their own nuzzling hug, promising to keep him safe. Their lips met in a kiss that started tenderly but in an instant tore through Nathan’s body with unrelenting passion. The jumble of feelings and release of tension from Tilly’s ordeal shot out of them. Nathan didn’t want to think about his mother or his past. He only wanted this moment. He was hungry for life.
Chapter 16
Nathan
Liam’s lips infused Nathan with electricity. His mouth was the warmth that saved him from their cold surroundings. Soon, Liam’s tongue was prying his lips apart and slipping inside.
“I reckon I really like kissing guys,” Liam said.
Nathan held onto his tree trunk-like neck, breathing in his manly scent, feeling the straggly hairs brushing against his fingertips, as their tongues swashbuckled. His mind was a blur of need.
But then it began to unscramble.
What am I doing?Nathan asked himself. There was one giant secret between them. Underneath all the lies Nathan had told, there was the truth, trying to claw its way to the surface.
“Liam.” Nathan pulled away, catching his breath. He thought about how to tell him, how to begin, what to say.
But the lust blazing on Liam’s chiseled face overpowered him, as did the swollen cock pressing against Nathan’s thigh. He could tell Liam needed this as badly as he did.
“What is it?” Liam asked.
“I want you so fucking bad.” It wasn’t a line. It was practically a medical diagnosis.
Liam pulled him hard against his chest, locking him into place with his strength. His thick beard rubbed against Nathan’s cheeks as his forceful kisses sent waves of lust and need down Nathan’s spine. His muscles flexed around Nathan’s frame. Rain cascaded down their faces.
Liam tugged on Nathan’s hair, yanking his head back at an angle to go in for a deeper kiss. The sounds of their lips and tongues smacking together sent blood rushing to Nathan’s crotch and his heartbeat vibrated against his chest.
Nathan pushed him back against the barn. He ran his hands down Liam’s rain-soaked shirt, which clung to his jacked physique. He grabbed Liam’s tight ass and their hard cocks grinded against each other through layers of denim. He wanted to devour and be devoured by Liam’s broad, firm body.
He slipped his fingers under Liam’s shirt, which proved difficult when the rain made it stick to his skin. His fingers grazed his furry abs and traveled up to his hairy chest. His body was all man. Nathan couldn’t stop himself. He had looked, and now all he wanted to do was touch. He pushed Liam’s shirt up, and Liam whipped it the rest of the way off. Nathan kissed along the muscles in his shoulders and the curve of the pecs. Raindrops clung to the tips of his hair and his eyelashes. Nathan realized how badly he needed Liam close, how badly he needed this connection.
Their mouths met again in a ferocious round of making out. Liam kissed along Nathan’s neck, making his arms and legs shut down. Nathan had been with plenty of men, but holy fuck this was on some other level. Want and lust coursed through his veins.
Liam shoved him against the barn. He grabbed hold of Nathan’s shirt in his fists and tore it apart. The fabric ripped asunder.
“That was a Marc Jacobs shirt.”
“And now it’s junk,” Liam said with a mischievous smile that went straight to Nathan’s cock. He yanked the destroyed shirt off Nathan’s lean frame. Farming had given him more definition that Liam eyed with desire. Sheets of rain slicked his smooth muscles and abs. Their soaked chests mashed together.
Nathan grabbed onto the waistband of Liam’s jeans like he was hanging onto the side of a mountain. He flicked his fingers inside and brushed against that bush he’d glimpsed the other night. He liked that Liam told male beauty standards to fuck off. He moved further south, and Liam let out a moan when he took hold of his meaty cock. The thing was a fucking mallet, and Nathan wanted it thrust in every eligible hole of his.
