“You were a complete disaster. Why did you get completely munted?”
Nathan thought for a moment, then shrugged his shoulders and put on a smile. “I think the last remnants of jet lag got to me.”
Bullshit. Liam knew it. Nathan knew it. He studied Nathan’s face, waiting for him to be honest. They were in a mental tug of war over it, but Nathan kept smiling, kept pulling.
“I’ll think on it,” Liam said. He turned around and walked away.
“I was in rehab.” Nathan said when he reached the entrance. Liam put his hand on the door frame. “Before I came here.”
Liam pivoted back to Nathan, who was stripped of all artifice, his pouty top lip quivering. It was a peek behind the curtain for what felt like the first time.
“Nathan, why do you want to stay here? There must be other farms where you can do research for your movie.”
Quiet took over the barn, and Nathan kept looking at him. “Because I like who I am here. Loads of times, so many fucking times, I get this objective view of myself, and I hate what I see. I’m like a car crash in slow motion. But I’m becoming a better person here. It’s better than rehab, I’ll tell you that. In rehab, guys wanted to treat me like a piece of ass to help them forget about drugs for a few minutes. Staff workers who were supposed to help me tried selling me shit because they knew addicts would pay anything for a fix.”
Liam wanted to take back his punch of Nathan and use it against every person at that facility he was at. Maybe the farm was better than rehab. Nathan was away from most temptation and working through his addiction with manual labor.
“What do you say, Liam?”
Damn, he wanted to hug Nathan so bad, but something held him back. Liam gave him a terse nod. “One more chance.”
“Thank you. And please, let’s just forget everything that happened last night.Everything,” Nathan said.
Liam knew what he meant. It was a terrible, gross kiss, one that Nathan seemed to fervently regret. But Liam deflated just a bit. He wondered just how much Nathan wanted to erase it from his memory.
“Forgotten,” he said.
“Great.” Nathan fought back another yawn.
“I can cover things from here, if you want to take a nap on the couch.”
“No. There’s still work to be done.” Nathan looked like he was going in for a hug, and maybe Liam would’ve tried to reciprocate. He felt some type of force trying to pull them together, but they both stopped themselves.
Liam tipped his hat at Nathan instead.
Chapter 12
Nathan
Over the next week, Nathan was a model employee. He was on the field by four-fifteen every morning, and Liam was there with an extra mug of coffee in hand. He didn’t complain about the tasks Liam gave him. He shoveled shit with a smile on his face. And it did feel good, doing actual work and being helpful.
Liam asked him if he was going through any withdrawal, and Nathan cheerfully told him he was absolutely fine. Which was an absolute lie. The week was filled with killer headaches and nausea. Next came the shaky hands as the last bits of alcohol clung to his skin. In those times, he gripped his shovel or whatever tool he was holding extra hard, willing the poison out of him. For those times when he thought about having a drink, or about all the liquor available to him in Mark’s cabinet, he pictured Liam naked, shagging his brains out. Hell, even just picturing Liam walking towards him on the field, his jacked arms and broad chest getting closer, a half-smile on his face that peeked at his white teeth, was enough for Nathan. He gripped his own tool in those cases, masturbating like he was a teenager again. Lusting after one’s boss and the uncle of one’s secret siblings wasn’t an ideal situation, but it did the trick.
Nathan knew that nothing would happen between him and Liam. That kiss was a drunken mistake, even if Nathan had secretly wished he’d done it when sober. But he was already on shaky ground. He couldn’t risk getting booted from the farm and getting on the bad side of his siblings. Even though it set him on that alcohol-fueled tailspin, Nathan wanted to see more of his mother. He wanted to watch more videos and look through more of her things. He wanted to be closer to her, as hard as it would be. There had to be more to the story about why she abandoned him. Mariel seemed like a sweet, loving mother and wife. How could she do what she did to Nathan all those years ago? It didn’t jive, and perhaps in her personal belongings, there was a clue as to what happened.
“Once more, from the top.” Nathan sat on Franny’s bed and cued her to start singing again.
She stood up straight, jutted her neck out softly, and the words ofOn the Steps of the Palaceflowed from her mouth. There were some bumps in the musical road, times where she yelled the words to wring emotion instead of sang them, but overall, she had natural talent. Mariel had blessed both of them with abilities.
“How was that?” she asked.
“It was all right.” Nathan refrained from going Simon Cowell on her. But he wasn’t going to lie to her. “It needs work, but the base is there.”
“Do you think I can master this song by the audition next week?”
“It’s possible. You’re going to have to work hard. We’ll need to practice everyday.”
“I will. I remember Mum would sing scales and practice lines to herself as she cleaned the house.”
