The light clicked on in the bedroom area. Liam shuffled out of bed and into the living room, looking exhausted. His jeans slung low on his hips. Had he fallen asleep in them?
“What time is it?” Nathan asked.
“Two in the morning.” Liam had nothing but glares for him.
“I am so sorry,” Nathan said, unsure of what he was sorry for yet, but figured it was best to get his apology out there preemptively.
Nathan smiled back to ease the tension, and his cheek winced in soreness. He felt his face and wondered if he’d fallen. Until he remembered.
The punch.
That memory set off a chain reaction in Nathan and more pieces of the night came into startling focus. Stumbling across the field. Dancing with the sheep while singingI Dreamed a Dreamin a beautiful voice. And the punch. The punch that he rightfully deserved.
“What were you doing?” Liam asked.
Nathan wanted clarification. He didn’t want Liam to know he couldn’t quite remember everything.
“I…” Nathan shook his head. “I may have had a little bit too much fun.”
“Because of you, I almost lost three of my sheep, maybe more if I hadn’t shut the gate in time.”
Nathan put his head in his hands, avoiding his hurting cheek. He had a vague recollection of wanting to free the sheep from captivity.What have I done?He asked himself, unfortunately knowing the answer.
“Did you hit me?”
“No. You did.”
Another wave of embarrassment crashed on Nathan’s shores. Of course he hit himself.
“I think you may have a drinking problem,” Liam said with complete seriousness. “I think you need help, Nathan.”
Nathan considered telling him that he had sought help in rehab, but realized that would make him sound worse. The ex-rehabber who couldn’t stay on the wagon.
“I’ll be fine. I won’t drink anything else while I’m here.”
“About that. I don’t think it’s a good idea that you work here anymore.”
Nathan’s head bobbed up. A touch of sorrow reflected in Liam’s eyes, and it gave Nathan a sliver of relief knowing this wasn’t completely easy for him either.
“I’m entering a very busy season for this farm, and I can’t jeopardize it with your recklessness. If you need a few more hours of rest, that’s all right. But today, I want you to pack your things and go.”
“Liam…” Nathan tried to say more. His throat was so dry it tingled with pins and needles. “I really am sorry.”
“That’s not good enough.” His lips pursed into an equator across his face. Lips.
Lips that I kissed.The one missing memory. It came back. It came back hard and socked Nathan in the face even worse than he did to himself hours ago.I kissed Liam.The one thing he said he wasn’t going to do, and he did it while completely wasted.Was it good? Probably fucking not.Nathan had been kissed by drunken fools before, and it was always a disgusting affair.
Nathan got up. He couldn’t look at Liam as he walked out the door. He was a fireball of anger, furious with himself. Using his phone’s light to navigate across the field, Nathan retreated to Mark’s house. He opened the side door slowly, so as not to even risk making a sound, and tiptoed to his room. He undid the covers and got inside his bed.
Nathan stared at the ceiling. Within two seconds of laying down, he realized he wasn’t going to get a wink of sleep. No use trying, and he wasn’t going to count sheep. That would be salt in his wound.
He stared at the ceiling, thinking about how he got here and how he didn’t want to go. He thought about Franny’s buoyant figure in her new dress, the tears of joy when she saw her fixed hair. And he thought of his mother, naturally. Whenever Nathan used to fuck up, which was often, she would be the first person he thought of. He pictured her somewhere, wherever she was, some vague figure in his mind, shaking her head, thinking, “Well, I dodged that bullet.” She knew he was trouble from the first second she laid eyes on him, and she smartly ditched him. He would then think about his dad, who gave up his life to raise Nathan, who no matter how callous he might seen now, had kept his son and not tossed him into an orphanage. And what had Nathan done to repay him? What had Nathan done to help anyone?
He whipped off the covers. The sun had not risen. In his eyes, it wasn’t tomorrow yet.
Chapter 11
Liam
