“I can’t fucking believe this. You never tried looking for her?”
“How could I look for her? I didn’t even know her name.” There was minimal effort on his dad’s part. This wasn’t an actor whose name he couldn’t remember. This was Nathan’s mother! Nathan had wondered if there was another family out there, one who could save him from the cold embrace of his parents and the demonic turds who comprised his extended family.
“Today isn’t even my real birthday then.”
“I suppose not.”
I don’t know my own birthday.That realization more than anything else made Nathan feel like a walking fraud. It was as if he didn’t exist.
Nathan turned slowly to his dad, who smiled weakly.
“Do you still want to go to dinner?”
“Actually, I’d much prefer to go to a pub.”
“But you’re not—”
Nathan whipped out a Fake ID from his wallet.
“Nathan!”
“Please. Just drive,” Nathan said, before his dad could try to parent with another lecture.
Chapter 1
SEVEN YEARS LATER
Nathan
“How are you feeling? It’s the big day,” his counselor said, as if it was graduation day. For a woman who espoused peace, relaxation, and mindfulness, her hair was pulled back into an awfully tight bun. The tightness made her eyebrows arch up, as if they were getting sucked into the bun, too. It was something Nathan had noticed during all their sessions together over the past thirty days. He had needed something to focus on, since she loved to repeat herself. What other advice did she have besides don’t get sloppy drunk?
Her heels, meant more for climbing the corporate ladder than a posh rehab facility, clacked on the stone walkway around the sculpture garden.
“It’s just one day. One day at a time,” Nathan said, knowing she would like that. Before he could leave, he had to take a stroll with his counselor through the garden of eternal peace and talk out any final fears. They passed people meditating and doing yoga on the grounds.
“And what do you mean by that?” she asked.
Nathan resisted the urge to roll his eyes. She was always doing this, asking him to explain something she already knew, thinking it would take on extra significance if he broke it down. People in here loved to talk talk talk. (Fortunately, Nathan had also discovered a few guys who also loved to fuck fuck fuck.)
“I’m going to attend AA meetings every day and be mindful in my decisions.”
“And what do you mean by mindful?”
“Present. I will think before I act. Every time I want to drink, I will think about what’s causing this decision, isolate those feelings, and make a better choice.”
She paused at a sculpture of a teal rectangle perched on its corner with a circular cut in the middle. “Nathan, cut the bullshit.”
“What?” Nobody ever cursed in rehab, especially not the counselors. “What happened to the flowery, hippie-like language?”
“I used to be a VP of marketing. I know how to level with people when I need to.” She arched one of her already arched eyebrows at him so that it looked like an upside down V. “You’ve obviously been listening in our sessions, but have you beenlistening?”
“I have. Every word.”
“Reallylistening, though.” She peered into his eyes, searching for something. “You’re an actor, Nathan. I hope this past month hasn’t been a performance for us. I know you’re somewhat of a pro.”
“Does it count as being a professional actor if you get fired from your first role?”
“I wasn’t talking about your motion picture career. This is your second time here in six months. You did so well last time, but then you were back here three months later.”
