Something weighed in Henry’s eyes, and Ethan knew the feeling exactly. They were kindred spirits. Henry downed the rest of his drink. “What choice do I have? What’s so funny?”
Ethan hadn’t realized he was smiling. “I know how you feel. I was seeing this guy for about two months. Closeted frat guy.”
“Dude, that’s like the gay holy grail. Hot?”
“You have no idea. Is it wrong of me to get turned on watching him get nervous around his friends?”
Henry cracked up. His face creased with laugh lines. “I love that, too! Sometimes I ‘run into him’ outside his classes. He gets all flustered. Then we have amazing sex.” Henry examined his empty cup. “I’m sorry. That was a total TMI. Are you guys still together?”
Ethan struggled to hold his smile, but judging by Henry’s reaction, he failed. “I just…I know how you feel.”
“Well, if you ever want to talk or hang out, I’m here.” Henry glanced over his shoulder and waved at the girls. “They’d probably get a kick out of it.”
“That’d be nice.”
Like Lorna, he felt an instant friend connection with Henry. He felt more comfortable with him after five minutes than he did with most people. Unlike with Preston, there was no awkwardness or latent crush forming. Ethan had made his first gay friend. Two guys who liked guys but not each other. He flashed back to the rainbow party he’d attended so long ago. He’d come so far.
“What’s so funny?” Henry asked.
“Nothing. Let’s go get refills and say hi to the girls.”
Φ
Ethan’s optimism about talking to Greg again faded fast. Greg stopped coming to Constitutional Law class entirely. Ethan held out on texting him. Both Lorna and Henry had told him that he wasn’t in the wrong here. Greg needed to get over his own shit.
Still, one Saturday night, Ethan buckled and texted,Hey.
Greg never responded.
Three weeks later, Ethan began making peace with things. Luckily, he had his new friends to help keep his mind off Greg. When Henry mentioned he had an extra ticket to the last football game of the season, Ethan jumped at the opportunity. Lorna was going with June. Henry’s boyfriend would be there, too, but in the next section over. “Of course,” Henry said with rolled eyes.
Before game day, Ethan dyed his T-shirt lime green. He wore it over a gray thermal and tied a lime green bandana around his head.
“Whoa,” he said at the person in his mirror. “Go Whitetails.”
He found Jessica, Dave, and Anna lounging in Jessica’s suite. It was the weekend before Thanksgiving break, the last game of the season, and they were studying.
At that moment, Ethan felt bad for his friends. Even if they didn’t drink, they were still missing out on so much life. There was more to experience than sculpture yards and Chinese buffets. Browerton was full of interesting people, too. He was grateful that he’d gotten to meet Sahil and Henry and June and all the random co-eds he’d collided with during parties. They’d helped him discover a little part of himself. He hoped his friends had their own awakenings soon. Whether it involved fucking in a library or not.
“What are you guys up to today?” Ethan asked.
Jessica eyed Ethan’s getup, and he glimpsed a quick flash of judgment before she shrugged it off. “We’re doing a little studying now, then we’re going to this Italian restaurant shaped like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.”
“That sounds cool. Let me know next time you go,” Ethan said with true sincerity. No passive-aggressive double meaning. That did sound cool, as did attending a football game. Ethan didn’t have to choose one or the other.
“We will,” Jessica said with a nod. “Have fun.”
“Loving the bandana, Ethan!” Dave added.
“Thanks.”
Lorna opened her door before Ethan could knock. She had green glitter sprinkled on her face and a green tank top on.
“You realize it’s forty degrees out?” Ethan asked.
“Don’t worry, mom. I’m bringing a hoodie.” She grabbed it from her closet. “Do you want to do a pre-pregame shot before we go?”
A bottle of vodka sat on her desk. He thought of Jessica and their heart-to-heart. He wanted her room to stay a safe space.
