Greg moved his hand away. Ethan put it back, and Greg took it away, this time more forcefully. “Easy there.” He leaned in, and Ethan got a whiff of his woodsy cologne.
“Lorna, are you shooting a porno in here?” Sahil asked. Lorna slipped Ethan his phone.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” she cooed back.
“Dude, you are drunk!” Sahil said to Ethan, unaware that his tequila was to blame. “Looks like he wants to jump your bones, Sanderson. You should probably wash your sheets.”
“Can we talk in private?” Ethan asked Greg. He tried to put a hand on his knee, but Greg stood up and took a step back.
“I’d be careful, Sanderson.”
Ethan had never seen Greg so stern, so reserved, so much like Ethan. “Dude, you mind getting off my floor?”
It was like a javelin through the heart. Lorna seemed to get what was going on in an instant. She was that good. She turned to Sahil and stabbed his chest with her finger. “You still owe me a tequila shot.”
She continued tapping him until he escorted her back to his room. The boys were alone. Greg’s whole body seemed to exhale.
“I’m sorry,” Greg said softly.
Ethan didn’t respond. He remained on the floor, like something Greg discarded.
“C’mon, Folly.” Greg had a pleading look in his eyes, a rare moment of seriousness. “Let’s just go to Sahil’s room, pretend this never happened.”
“What never happened? You and me?”
“No, of course not. Just your whole amateur photo shoot. Come on.” And there was Greg’s smile again.
He couldn’t say no to that beautiful face and pouty lips. Greg pulled Ethan off the floor. Ethan held on for a few lingering seconds, and it was as exciting as any of their hookups. He could feel the electric current in Greg’s strong hands pass into him. Until Greg pulled away. Ethan realized just how often he pulled away, no matter how hard Ethan pushed.
“I came here to set the record straight,” Ethan said. “And I did. We can suck each other’s dicks in public. We just can’t hold hands.”
Ethan stepped around him and took in the room, the posters on the walls. He flicked one of the many bobbleheads on Greg’s dresser.
“Folly, I’m sorry. It’s tough for me, okay? I have a reputation to protect.”
“We kissed.” Anger settled into Ethan’s eyes. “We were outside my dorm, and I kissed you, and you didn’t pull away. You kissed me back. What did that mean?”
Greg’s eyes darted around the room, searching for an answer. “I don’t know.”
“I think you do.”
“What do you want? You expect me to walk out this door and proclaim you my boyfriend? You think it’s just that easy?”
“It’s not. I know that.”
“Then stop pushing. What we have, it ain’t broke. So stop trying to fix it.”
“It’s just sex with us.” He shook his head, so frustrated with himself. “And here I thought maybe it was more.”
This time, Ethan didn’t have to storm out like he had at the clothing store. Greg opened the door for him.
CHAPTER twenty-four
Ethan woke up with a huge headache the next morning. The alcohol, plus the memories of what had happened, pounded his skull like little men wielding little sledgehammers. He liked going to parties and drinking, but not getting drunk, not when it left him crouched over a toilet at seven in the morning. At least when he hung out with Jessica and his friends, their definition of fun didn’t leave him feeling like absolute crap.
Greg hadn’t contacted Ethan after he left the frat house. Ethan had thought about texting him, but every time his fingers pulled up Greg’s number, he’d reminded himself that this was Greg’s fault. Ethan had made his move; Greg was the one who forced him to keep the status quo.
He admired the bright red of the tiles on the bathroom wall right before his stomach wrung itself out again. Each of those shots with Lorna, with Sahil, they all came back up. Exhaustion weighed him down to the floor. He hadn’t slept last night. He’d blacked out, then woken up at six and tried to hold back from puking for an hour.Never again.
