He wasn’t going to wait to find out.
CHAPTER eleven
Ethan had no recollection of getting back to his dorm. His mind was in a far-off place. For the second time today, he asked himself,Did that really happen?Some people enjoyed a life of risk and uncertainty, but Ethan didn’t need surprises to throw him off-balance. There was nothing wrong with predictability and playing it safe. You may never be number one, but you’d never come in last, and Ethan found comfort in that.
When he got to his room, he made sure to lock the door. He needed privacy. He needed to think. He tried to analyze what had happened, but he kept remembering Greg’s raging erection flopping out of his pants. And that look.
That look.
The focused, intense, I’m-thinking-things-you’ll-never-know expression on Greg. Those eyes burned into Ethan, and he went flush just from the memory. Nobody had ever looked at him that way; even if it was only because Greg was on the verge of coming, he’d still take it.
Ethan returned to Greg’s profile, looking for any latent clues of homosexuality. Yet Ethan found himself getting heterosexual whiplash once again. There were the same pictures of his bros and his chicks. Even his taste in music (Jay-Z, Drake) and movies (Transformers, Fight Club) screamed straight.
Greg seemed like one of those guys who’d been cool all his life without trying. When he talked, you listened. Hell, when he whipped out his junk in a public place, you grabbed it. It looked like he had a great life, one far removed from anything Ethan could imagine. College was the time for experimenting. Maybe that’s what they were both doing.
A little while later, Ethan searched for his friends in Jessica’s suite. It was around dinner time, and he figured he should eat, even though his appetite was still gone from this afternoon. The suite was empty. Usually they didn’t go to dinner until six, and it was only five-thirty. He texted Jessica to see where they were and ambled by her room.
“Are you looking for Jessica?” a voice called out to Ethan. He spun around and found Lorna coming out of the bathroom.
“Sorry,” he said, though not sure why. “I mean, yes.”
“I think I heard her say she was going to a Chinese buffet.” Lorna strolled past Ethan, back to her room. She left the door open, and Ethan took that as a cue to follow.
He’d never spent alone time with Lorna, and he didn’t know the proper procedure. What do you say to your friend’s roommate whom your friend doesn’t like? Politeness won out. That wasn’t his battle.
“A Chinese buffet?” Ethan asked. That didn’t seem like Jessica’s forte. She read the labels on her food. She taught him the difference between free range and fair trade. A Chinese buffet in Western Pennsylvania did not seem to fit those qualifications.
“That’s what I heard.” Lorna shrugged. She pulled out a heavy textbook from her backpack and plunked it on her bed. “Did you just come from the gym?”
Ethan shook his head, not knowing where that inquiry came from. He wiped his brow, but found no sweat.
“Oh, you just seem…” Lorna searched for the word. Ethan stood in the doorway waiting. “Fresher.”
“Fresher?”
“You know when you go to the gym and after you have this boost of energy. Even if your body is wiped out, you have this mix of adrenaline and confidence, knowing that you kicked ass for at least one hour out of your day. Am I the only one who feels that?”
“I think so.” But Ethan thought about it, and he always felt good after working out, no matter how strenuous his exercise. “Must be the endorphins.”
“Probably. But you…” Again, Ethan waited for her to finish that sentence. “You have this post-gym glow. I don’t know. You seem a little different.”
Immediately, Ethan thought of his library tryst. Yep, he could not be the same after that. He could feel the blush clouding his cheeks. “Different in a good way, right?”
“Totally.” Lorna’s gaze lingered on Ethan, like she was reading something off him. She cracked a smile. “Totally.”
“Well, I didn’t go to the gym today. I, uh, did a lot of walking around campus. I mean, it was a lovely day.”
She kept smiling and hiccupped out a laugh. “Not a cloud in the sky.”
Ethan backed out of the room. “I’m going to text Jessica, find out where she is. You don’t have to tell her I stopped by. Thanks.”
And then he was gone.
Φ
Ethan finally found his friends at the student union, sprawled out on a pair of lime-green couches. It was only slightly after six, but they looked wiped out.
“Hey guys,” he said. Anna moaned in response.
