Page 75 of Out of My Mind


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Oh that Gideon. He traveled home on a moment’s notice to be by his family’s side when his great uncle Mort passed away. He’s such a good son. He’s not “going through anything.” He’s always doing swell.

“Are you going to take the shot?” Seth asked.

Gideon bounced the ball up and down. He chucked it against the wall. The slamming sound echoed in the gymnasium. The ball rolled down the court. Seth didn’t touch it.

“Um, I think you airballed.”

Gideon went to the wall. He leaned forward, like he going to hurl. How was lying so easy and so freaking hard at the same time? His stomach and head were sandbags being dragged across the ground.

Seth’s shoes squeaked over to Gideon. “Let me get you some water.”

“No,” Gideon said.

“You miss him, don’t you?”

He shook his head no. He took deep breaths. “There is no Great-Uncle Mort.”

“I was talking about Mac.”

Gideon flung himself straight up, like a rubber band snapping back into place. He and Seth exchanged a look that dug deeper than their friendship had ever gone.

“The last time we played basketball, and I told you about Mac and Rafe, well…you seemed jealous. Really jealous.” Seth shrugged his shoulders, and Gideon saw the infinite wisdom of his friend. He had been watching the whole time.

“I…I really like him.” Telling the truth helped him breathe better. Unlike lies, where he had to keep telling them, there was only one version of the truth. “I was in Pittsburgh. I went to Mac’s aunt’s funeral and told him how I felt.”

Gideon bounced on his toes. More truth! “Delia told me about his aunt passing away. She’s known about Mac and me for a while.”

“So I was the only one who didn’t know?”

“I’m sorry, man.”

Seth didn’t seem mad. More of a little brother feeling left out of the cool older brother stuff.

“You don’t know how hard this is, not telling anyone.” And Gideon braced himself for the biggest truth of them all. “I’m gay, Seth.”

“I can’t believe I was the only one who didn’t know,” Seth said with a smile. It was the perfect reaction.

“I didn’t know how you’d react. Are you okay?”

Seth hugged him. It was the best bro hug Gideon had ever received.

“You’re happy. I’m happy.”

“Really?”

Seth looked at him as if he belonged in a mental institution. “Of course. You’re my best friend.”

Tears pooled in Gideon’s eyes. He couldn’t be crying on a basketball court. He tried to stop it, but they fell anyway. Telling the truth had possessed his body.

Seth picked up the basketball and checked it to his best friend.

“Eight-five.”

Φ

Gideon was on such a high from his game with Seth. He felt indestructible. A new version of his true life was being formed. He couldn’t wait until he got home. He had to call his brother the second he left the gym.

He sat on a bench in the freezing December cold.