A guy in a pink tank top asked them if they had a light, and scowled when the answer was no. “The smoker’s lounge is for SMOKING!” The guy screamed with an unlit cigarette in his mouth.
“You know what he said when he broke up with me? I’m too needy.” Mac hated that Davis’s words stuck in his head. “What does that even mean? How is it wrong to want to be around your boyfriend?”
“That was just code for ‘I don’t want to be around you anymore.’”
Mac took a sip of his water. His eyes narrowed into slits. He was onto the anger stage in grieving. “Our time together is now firmly in the past for him. Why do guys move on so fast?” He looked to Gideon for an answer.
“Do you want a polite friend answer, or can I be honest?” Gideon swished the water in his bottle.
“Please be honest,” Mac said, although he wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear it.
“Guys know they’re going to break up with a girl, or guy, well before she knows it. The girls I’ve dated, I get this niggling voice in my head that says this relationship is not the one. You try to see yourself with this person, and your stomach twists in knots when you think about that future. No couple ever has that realization at the same time. Somebody’s always first. Once I have it, the relationship is done in my mind, even though I have to go through the motions a little bit longer. It’s like senioritis. So Davis had that realization before you. There’s no shame in losing.”
Mac looked out at the smokers, all enjoying their night. “Was that supposed to make me feel better?”
“No. You wanted me to be honest.”
The smoker finally got his stupid light and waved it at them in victory. Mac gave him the finger. He’d never flipped somebody off. It was nice. He should do it more often.
“Did you really feel that way?” Mac asked him. “About girls you dated. Your stomach twisting in knots?”
“Something like that. It’d always start out hot and heavy. I liked that.” He quirked an eyebrow. “But then in the quiet moments, when we would be laying on the bed together or when we ran out of things to say, this alarm would go off in my head.”
Mac had a similar feeling when he tried dating girls in high school, but he wouldn’t tell Gideon that.
“Even though you shouldn’t be out here,” the cigarette guy stumbled up to them and waved his cigarette at them. “I love watching you guys. You’re the cutest couple.”
“Oh, we’re not…” Heat crept up Mac’s neck.
Gideon threw his arm around Mac. “Thanks, man! College sweethearts!”
It was just for show, but it gave Mac some sort of back orgasm. Gideon’s grip was stronger and more protective than it had to be. He knew how to embellish a lie in all the right places.One million cold showers.
The guy blew them a kiss, then wandered off to his smoker buddies.
“Why’d you say that?” Mac asked.
“It was the easiest way to get him off our backs.” Gideon pulled back his arm.
Mac almost pictured them as a couple. Lying on a bed with Gideon not talking seemed better than most things in the world.
“Thanks for talking.”
“Anytime.” Gideon grinned, and Mac felt safe in that look. “And if you’re still feeling down, Big Bird can probably cheer you up.”
“Big Bird?” Mac asked before getting it. He smacked Gideon in the shoulder. “I am not calling it Big Bird. You’ve just ruined my childhood.”
CHAPTER eight
Gideon
A few days after Cherry Stem, Gideon took the train back home for Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year. There was no ball drop, no countdown, no celebration involved with this holiday. He and his mom sat in a packed temple as the rabbi said prayers that…well, he didn’t exactly know what the prayers meant. He just knew that Rosh Hashanah wasn’t about celebrating the year to come but reflecting on the year that passed.
Happy new year! Even though it’s not “happy,” right?Mac texted him.
“Put the phone away.” Gideon’s mom pointed at the open prayer book in his hands.
Gideon regretted not wearing a watch. He wondered how much time was passing, if any at all. It was like being in a Vegas casino, except less fun. The new year didn’t have to be completely solemn. They were still getting to celebrate making it a whole year.
