“Beth and I swung by thrift shops and got some pretty decent furniture.”
“Wonderful. I’m excited to have her over for the Jewish holidays.”
“I don’t know if she can make it. She may be going to family in Boston. She’s still figuring out her plans.”
“Are you going with her?”
“And miss out on some of your matzo ball soup? Are you kidding?” His fake laugh satisfied his mom but made his throat ache.
“So Noah’s still with that new girl he met at the casino. Christina,” she said. Mother and son didn’t need proper segues. “She’s eighteen years older than him!”
“Eighteen is a lucky number in Judaism.” Gideon’s joke fell flat.
“It’s only been two months, and he’s already telling me he’s in love.”
“It’s okay, Mom.”
“Noah’s always gone down his own path. But now this? Why can’t he find a nice, Jewish girl, like you did with Beth? Your brother has given me enoughtsuristo last a lifetime. I’m lucky I have you, Gideon. You’ve always been so good and responsible. You always do the right thing. You keep me sane.”
Her words made Gideon feel pressure in his chest. Keeping someone sane was more work than just loving them. Sometimes it felt like too much responsibility.
They said their good-byes and hung up. Gideon’s skill for little white lies developed over years of avoiding the Judy Saperstein freak-out. One lie after another. So harmless. It made him angry how hard he worked to present a positive front for his mom while his brother had one epic screw up after another. Then he remembered that no matter how small and insignificant it was, he was still lying to his mom. That was when the guilt sunk in.
He found his way to Seth’s dorm. He needed some classic Seth neuroses to distract him.
You around? Wanna shoot some hoops?He texted.
I’m asleep, Seth texted back.
It’s 10! Wake up!
Early class tomorrow.
Gideon called him up. “You are in college. People do not go to sleep at ten. You will go to your class tired like everyone else.”
“Not tonight. I ate something at dinner that didn’t sit right with me. Sorry, Gid.” Seth sounded groggy, like he’d already been asleep for a while.
“I’m downstairs.” Gideon kept up his enthusiasm.
“Not tonight.”
“This is unbelievable.” Though Gideon could never be truly mad at Seth. This was par for the course. He just worried that Seth was going to be single forever. He never dated. Dates didn’t end at seven-thirty.
“Let’s get lunch together tomorrow. My treat.”
Gideon wasn’t going to turn down free food. “Okay. But if there’s filet mignon on the menu, I’m ordering two for myself. You’ve been warned.” He looked up at the dark rows of windows of the dorm. One of them held Seth. “Sweet dreams.”
“You too, Gid.”
Gideon meandered around downtown Duncannon on his way home. To his apartment with the heap of junk and a gay guy who checked him out and who may still be shirtless. And that might not have been a bad thing.
Do not even go there, he warned himself. This wasn’t the first time he’d had thoughts like these over the years. But he never acted on them, and that’s what mattered. The good son would never do something so irresponsible.
He climbed the steps to his apartment and rested his head on the door. Being the good son was exhausting.
Inside, Mac watched TV on the couch. His feet rested on the coffee table, but Gideon didn’t have the energy to get into that. He nodded in acknowledgement at his roommate. It was barely after ten, but he decided to go to sleep. He wouldn’t tell Seth.
Gideon shuffled into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. Shave clippings dotted the sink. Again, something to deal with tomorrow. An empty roll of toilet paper hooked on the dispenser.
